Ask HN: What's your self-care routine?

File away for when you get older. :-)

I'm approaching 75 (Hello to all HN'ers who built S-100 home computers.) and my hobbies are mainly piano -- yes, you can improve with age and practice, --- photography --- I live on a ridge with fantastic views, manzanitas all over and rock walls to (almost) climb, --- and hiking (it's a ridge, remember?)

Also chainsawing branches that snapped in the previous winter storms, or which have blocked my hiking paths --- which I created by chainsaw and loppers (great for the biceps).

My "meditation" is chanting and studying the Lotus Sutra (it's emancipating!).

Meals for one are very hard to balance. I try.

Playing piano really is a big mental challenge for me, as I try pieces just short of concert level. I believe that it helps keep me sharp.

It is great that you spend time with friends and family. Distance gets in the way of that, as friends and family are at least 50 miles away.

I have been an amateur photographer for over 50 years, and photography can make you much more observant and tuned in to nature, a great connection to make. Beats hugging trees, which might have poison oak vines circling them. (They often do.) I used a 24-1000 mm (effective) little Coolpix for over 10 years before going mirrorless. It got me up-close and pulled in distant details (and birds). Still does. It's artistic!

I guess that the overall approach is being "in tune".

Hope this helps!

Mostly physical at this point. I am lacking in the reading/meditation/relationships, for sure, need to step up my game.

  * Monday: Run 4 miles
  * Tuesday: 1 hour strength/weights, 20 min on stationary bike (6.2 miles)
  * Wednesday: Run 4 miles
  * Thursday: 1 hour strength/weights, 20 min on stationary bike (6.2 miles)
  * Friday: Run 4 miles

Saturday/Sunday, nothing strict, might do a short run, otherwise hanging out with my family, or doing house work.

My routine seems to be "ignore everything until I can't anymore." Most of the time I'm so spent doing what's required of me each day that I just sink into a low-power mode until I'm needed again. Which is pretty often...so I don't have much free time for self care. No amount of sleep I get seems to change how much energy I have, my joints and back are in terrible shape (genetics) so I can't do much exercise, and I often feel guilty whenever I enclose myself into my own little world with music or gaming because my son wants to be a part of my life.

What has been the best for my mental health has been reconnecting with my faith life and converting to Catholicism. Generally I just get the impression no matter where I go I just have to make myself available for whatever God needs me to do. So me making plans tends to not matter in the end lol

Going for a walk ever morning I think helped me the most. Getting sun in my eyes helps with sleep and I wake up less tired.

I also meditate and try and be mindful during the day.

I recently found something to help me be more disciplined. There's evidence it works and I will see if it works for me as I just did the exercise today.

https://woopmylife.org/en/home

This is how I handle bad days, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed or just need time to get over something.

- Shut everything down. I'll log out of social media, block doomscrolling with SelfControl, shut down my laptop and put it in a drawer. I'll set a vacation responder and update my contact page to say that I'm on vacation. I'll tell people that I have a lot on my plate and that projects and meetings will have to wait.

- Take yourself on a date. I'll go to my special places, do the things that I like, and eat my favourite foods. Whatever would be considered a great date if someone else set it up.

- Sweat the small stuff. I'll get the fancy ingredients and make something good. I'll light candles and make the good tea. I'll set the lighting just right, put some good music on and run myself a bath. I'll pack a picnic and bike to my favourite spot, and make sure to pack tea and a blanket. The little rituals matter.

- Reset. I'll repack my luggage (on the road), tidy up my flat, or do anything necessary to get a clean slate and a sense of being in control. It's crazy how a shower and a fresh shave can clear your head.

- Nature. There's something about being in the forest that makes me feel happy and at ease. There's no explaining it. Fresh air, sunlight and trees just work.

- Get up and drink 500ml cold water.

- 40 min meditation, energy expanding exercises.

- 500ml more water and some suppliments (zinc, magnesium, 1gr vitamin C...) and go do 40 to 60min cardio in bike or elliptic (often using iPad learning stuff).

- Back to start the productive day coffee , black (no sugar of course), still fasting.

- So intermitent fasting every day of at least 14h. Break fast with protein at lunch, low in carbs.

- Work.

- Train weighlifting, as much to failure as possible ~1:30h + 30min low cardio (this 5 times a week).

- Clean post train.

- Do not break diet at dinner.

If you build it, gains will come.

Vegan Tai Chi Dance and make stuff.

SAD light therapy lamp straight to the balls for 30 minutes a day. I work from home so I can have it on under the desk whilst on zoom calls. People just think the brightness is a ring light out of shot.

* Lifting at the gym

* Supplements. Omega 3, Vit D, Vit B12, Iron, Zinc, creatine

* Eating mostly fresh whole foods. I get a fresh vegetable box delivered once a week and that makes up most of my meals.

* Skincare. Primarily SPF, tretinoin, vitamin C. And a basic moisturizer.

* Sleep. Try to get at least 8 hours and try not to compromise on this for work anymore. If I finish work late one night, I'll be in later the next morning.

* Writing fiction. Similarly to the reason I got into programming, writing fiction helps me get all the crazy worlds and ideas out of my head and into something real. It is very hard, but when I have a finished manuscript in my hand it's like a cathartic experience.

* Therapy. I've been going weekly for a few months now and it has made a not entirely definable but very real difference in my view of the world, myself, and my relationships. It's a long process of self-discovery, which has always been very important to me. At some point last year I just realized I did as much discovering as I could on my own and needed someone else's help to keep going.

* Meditation attempts have failed. The closest I can come to meditation is putting on my planar headphones and listening to music in bed for 1-2 hours.

* Reading fiction. I love to read, and reading fiction brings me joy. It's the perfect activity that feels just the right balance of relaxing, creative, and still somewhat productive.

Some simple but strict rules that help me are

- No food before noon

- No alcohol on my own

- No coffee before spending at least 5 minutes outside in daylight

- No driving to work (cycling or walking only)

- Cold showers only

Some more I've tried and would like to stick to more, but they seem too difficult and I keep lapsing after a few weeks:

- TV/Netflix only while stretching

- Work only after a gym workout

- Drink a pint of water before each cup of coffee

Klonopin as needed.

I walk to either the gelato shop, or cake shop, on a Friday night, and partake in one or the other. Love is measured in coffee cups and dessert.

My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

Journaling.

Giving myself the ability to take notes on how I'm feeling has helped me discover the negative patterns and reason about them with more clarity.

Ive made a ritual of it, I go to my local cafe and write. Maybe I write a few lines or several pages, I try not to be dogmatic about it. I think this lowers the activation energy: I don't expect to write anything revolutionary but rather to simply express my current state.

I guess you can think of it as a separation of logic and state! You're writing down your emotional state and then reflecting on it. Somehow when it's written down it's much easier to reason about, similar to how people give better advice to their friends than to themselves.