[dead]

Was there anyone else there that knew and worked with you both? If so, talk to them about it. Do you want to commemorate Fred in some way? Hold a Zoom wake? Or just let it all go. Or actively blame all bugs on Fred for a while... B^>

So this is not an uncommon way for management to communicate this kind of thing. They really don't know people's individual connections to each other they're just communicating that this thing has happened. I can say being on the other side of this where I was working at a company and my son died that while people knew in general the company seemed very terse about it but privately the company did reach out more directly to me with sympathies and gifts and whatnot.

Perhaps contact your HR department and find out if they're doing anything for the family. Also find out if they know anything about the funeral arrangements so you could potentially do something directly. If you're not nearby sending flowers and that kind of thing is a thoughtful gesture.

Just a few thoughts... You may read some messages you exchanged with Fred. You may be able to save Fred's picture from the directory, if there is one one. Do you remember anything he used to say/write? Anything he talked about that he loved? Perhaps some things you heard about from him that you thought you could try try once but never got to actually trying them? Now could be a good time to do so. If you want to commemorate him, you could try to reach out to his family over social media and express your feelings, if you don't find it uncomfortable to do so.

An HN post is a good start. Open a small page and post the moments you shared with him and what you miss of his character, and all this experience you're feeling. It's fine not to open it to comments. Your heart is already processing grief, that's empathy, feel it.

My mum died last year just before I was due to start a new role and the company was very good to me, offering to delay the start date until I was ready.

It was quite a few months after starting when colleagues quietly offered their condolences, since the news was already circulated to various teams explaining my initial absence when I was due to start.

Their restraint to offer thoughts immediately on day one (after being introduced) was greatly appreciated.

A company hired me 10 years ago to build a new CRM system alongside their large ecosystem of existing web apps. There was only one other developer, the lead developer that had built all the other web apps. I built the CRM system in six months. Three months later the lead developer died and I became solo developer for all the apps. I'm still there solo to this day.

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