Ask HN: How do you explain what you do to your relatives?
I'm guessing others have this experience, the uncle who's the hardware salesman who thinks your sitting at home for the last 12 months and is loud about it, the relative who just nods and looks a bit sad when you tell them what you're doing. All folk who know nothing about startups, IT and what the process is, and with christmas coming I'm dreading it.
Has anyone hit on a magic formula to explain what you're doing in your startup so they'll leave you alone and stop suggesting maybe you can get a job in uncle bob's shop? / you did so well at school / and so on.
127 comments
[ 5.2 ms ] story [ 218 ms ] threadBu don't worry I'm sure Einstein had some pretty tough times explaining to his family what he did :-)
I'd be glad to help some of them out when I have the time and interest, but there is no way in hell I want to churn out a full out custom inventory system for their business for $200. And yes, someone has actually asked me for that at that price before. My jaw just dropped.
Maybe my family and in-laws aren't cool enough to ask for a web application, but my current description has been geeky enough to fend everyone off. I guess the time is coming when I should be concerned about that and move on to something niche-sounding.
This happens to practically everyone - Doesn't matter if you're a Doctor, Laywer, Mechanic, Banker...
"Oh, you're a plumber? Say, just the other day I dumped this leviathan that almost shattered my shitter, and clogged it good, too. Nobody's dared use it since. Would you mind grabbing that bull by the horns after dessert?"
NOTE: If you're asking for help, always offer beer
I try to explain that I'm doing something I am much more passionate about but most people (other than my parents, thankfully) can't seem to understand that logic. Living in a "brown" community doesn't help either, where every other parent is a doctor.
Am I the only one that read this 3 times trying to understand its meaning?
Dumping med school? Man, that's like me quitting teaching college. People thought (still think, probably) that I'm nuts. Occasionally I think they may be right...
-- Albert Einstein
And erwin Schrodinger's grandmother must really have been something. It took me two wellwritten books just to get a general grasp of what he was doing.
It's probably a nicely self-regulating system then.
1) Figure out the "regular" job that is most directly related to what your startup does and say you do that. For example, I have largely been involved with ad supported startups, so most of my relatives think I work at an ad agency.
2) If you have big clients, partners or vendors that you think your relatives have heard of you can say something like, "I work with company X". The fact that you have some relationship with a company they have heard of is typically good enough for them to think you are doing something right.
That being said, your non-technical family members are also a great audience on which to practice refining your pitch. If you can figure out how to explain what your startup does to your family, then you can surely explain it to users, clients, investors, etc.
It actually scares a lot of people it seems, maybe it's just my family.
I really like & use the titles cofounder or founder.
I do think that it sounds a little off-base to call oneself an entrepeneur at least in the DC area...very self-important.
Because high level of bureaucracy here in Russia it's really hard to start a company in a real sector. And it's hard to find a VC for tech startup. It's depressing. I even thought about moving to some other country on Phd postition and part time working for start up... but it's seems too extreme =(
Of course, when i started working at home again, they were still asking me "how's your office doing?" As if, that is where I kept all my work, in folders, at an office, with desks.
Of course you could just say, we just opened an office downtown, and people will get excited for you.
I was employed at a small company (under 10 employees) and my Aunt wouldn't stop calling me about Cisco.
"Cisco is a really great place to work at... it's stable, good pay. Even though your Uncle just got laid off, I still think it's a great place."
I'm a recent graduate, just moved back to my hometown in Silicon Valley. All of my old buddies are so eager to land jobs at BigCo. I'm completely shocked that no one wants to work at a startup, do their own business, or even work for a small company.
Since when did "I work at Google" become a damn pick up line?
I think being an entrepreneur is only impressive after you're successful (ie. get RICH). I'm pretty sure the Reddit guys had a hard time impressing their family/friends with their startup, until they got filthy rich.
I think family wants to see you secure. I think future spouses want to see a willingness to take on risk. So tailor those pick up lines to the audience.
(Wonder if startups got less sexy with the economy going down...)
With family it's tricky; they're not as really interested in "what you do" as "how will your chosen source of income ensure your happiness?"
I'm from Hong Kong, so the standard reply for family is usually "I do IT"; over there IT doesn't stand for Info-Tech, it is an umbrella term for all things technology related, from using accounting software to engineering boeing 747's. Implication: It's a safe desk job out of the sun and rain, it makes money, and you're fairly smart and able to take care of yourself.
Then during the bust they worry again, and I tell them nono I'm fine, my company builds buildings. The city I live in has been experiencing a massive boom in property value in both residential and commercial sectors, so then they didn't panic about my job. Plus, I'm still out of the sun and rain, so, to them things look pretty good.
So this time with the US housing melt-down, they worry again. So this time the emphasis is on what an awesome guy my boss is, that in the past even when things are slow he doesn't let anyone go, that the company is financially sound with everything paid for in cash, and all he has to pay is wages. So the office is here to stay for sure, keeping me out of the sun and rain.
PS: I work in a rough area of the city, and on my bus commute there are a lot of construction workers, day labourers, unemployed individuals, folks slightly intoxicated or look like they have had a rough night outside. I have the luxuary of telling them I work for a construction company.
yeah Chinese people try to stay indoors as much as we can
Just goes to show how the whole world isn't technical.
There's a huge digital divide among poker pros. Most tend to either be younger guys like me who use computers as a tool to improve our game (ICM Calculators, equity calcs, stat tracking, etc.) and the old road-gambler types who still think poker is just about reading people. Of course poker is such a mathematical game that the second group is at a tremendous disadvantage, except for the few who've adapted.
Graduate student.
0: "I'm a grad student." 1: (Deadpan/barely impressed.) "Oh. You must be really smart." 0: "Don't worry. I'm not."
Analyst at a pharmaceutical consulting company.
0: "I'm a consultant." 1: "Oh." (Isn't everyone?)
Quantitative trader/developer at a hedge fund.
0: "I'm a trader." 2: "Oh." ++
Unemployed.
0: "I'm a treasure hunter." 1: WTF? OR "I'm asking what you do for a job, not..."
Working for a startup.
0: "I'm starting a tech company." 1: "Oh, cool!" 0: (Excited.) "Yeah, it's fun. I'm using a ridiculously powerful programming language called Lisp. It looks like this." (Points to some monstrosity of a macro such as ONCE-ONLY.) 1: "Uh, yeah..."
++ The use of 2 here is not a typo. Finance is not nearly as "sexy" as I thought it would be before going in, and the standard-error descriptor is, in fact, appropriate.
"Startup," "Entrepreneur" etc. is a loaded term. I think Australia & The States are almost opposites in their reaction to these terms. I'm not born Australian (5th year), & the term doesn't describe me, so maybe I'm not the ideal person to advise here.
But I wouldn't venture further then 'starting a business.' I certainly wouldn't describe myself as an entrepreneur. Australians like to tear the tall trees to shreds. & that'd be like calling yourself a revolutionary poet.
Family and friends usually get it and they are very excited and supportive (of course, some family members are artists and independent contractors so 'startup' probably sounds less risky than it should).
Not surprisingly, it's the bigco lifers we run into at holiday parties, who were always too afraid to take the plunge, that say 'I know a guy who's hiring if you want a job.' I tell them something like 'thank you for letting me know, but my plate is full with my business'...what I really want to say is 'I'm not *ing unemployed, you jackass, and I'm working harder than you ever have or will!"
When dealing with money-focused people it helps to reassure them that you can support yourself by consulting when needed.
Some people are very fearful and often think everything will always go wrong. Those are the most difficult people to reach. I often give up once I detect someone has that characteristic. Just sort of change subjects and find common ground somewhere else that does not involve talking about risk, success and failure.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/31/
(I'm a PhD student in high performance systems.)
Grandma: What the heck is a TicketStumbler? Are you still just playing at the computer all day?
Me: Oh, have you been to our site Grandma?
Grandma: No.
Me: Well Grandma, have you ever heard of Expedia, Kayak or Orbitz?
Grandma: No.
Me: What about Bizrate or Pricegrabber?
Grandma: No.
Me: Hmm...well essentially what we do is take sports & concert tickets from all over the internet and put them on one website. So instead of going to multiple websites you can just go to one. You know how you put all your recipe cards in one place? Well we do that, but with tickets.
Grandma: Oh I see. Well, that's nice dear; would you like a beer while you work? Or how about some more candy?
Me: I love you Grandma.
Dan: Where'd all the Margaritas go, Grandma?
Grandma: I drank 'em all up!
Dad: When you told me you were quitting school and moving to Boston to start some Internet company I thought it was just a pipe dream. But, you made me really proud.
Grandma 2: I heard your business is doing well. Of course I don't understand what it is you do, but I'm proud of you!
No good quotes from my other Grandma; she can barely remember who I am anymore :(