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Ask HN: How did you find your significant other?

2 points by swyx ↗ HN
I believe we (I and others) are suffering from a loneliness epidemic. It's getting increasingly hopeless. The apps are useless for non-chads, standard advice of do more IRL activities to meet people doesn't apply when many techies have very male dominant hobbies.

if you have an SO, what did you do that might help others find theirs?

13 comments

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h2odragon
Look at the people in your life. Coworkers. Neighbors. Folks you know. "Dating scene" is all about "right now".

Marriage (and Love, imo) is better looked at as finding a friend with whom to share a bigger life. someone whose foibles fit with yours.

sinuhe69
And friends of friends, friends of relatives are classical match candidates, even if they sound so old-fashioned.
mattl
What are your male dominant hobbies?
whythre
I met my wife at a party for a mutual friend… we both arrived early to help set up, and things clicked.

I wouldn’t worry about being a non-chad, you sound kind of down on yourself.

Have you tried E-harmony? I have friends that have gotten married thanks to that site.

swyx
no i havent. i guess i'm e-harmony-age now. part of me is just in denial how i've been an epic failure in dating. thanks for the response.
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helveticar
There is an incorrect anecdote about Willie Sutton who was allegedly asked why he robbed banks. "That's where the money is" he is supposed to have replied.

Be where your prospective SOs are likely to be and do what they're doing. To begin with get used to making friendships with these people; it may develop it may not, but you will be more comfortable with other people and improve your social skills.

swyx
great anecdote haha. lovely.
Anton_MegaPort
Have you tried approaching women you like and getting to know them?
simonblack
Work. But not both of us in the same department. So we knew each other and were able to interact without working with each other all the time.