Really eye-opening for me. I grew up pretty poor, like no heat or plumbing or bed poor. And, I pretty much have all the low-status behaviors. It reminds me of reading Sapolsky's "Behave" which discusses a lot about physiological changes that happen when someone grows up poor.
The question I have is what kind of benefit would one expect by displaying high-status behaviors? Like, if I practice and apply this list, can it improve my life or my relationships?
My wife grew up relatively-wealthy and she displays most of the high-status behaviors (which is often frustrating to deal with). This one I found funny: "Being surrounded by an entourage, especially of people who are physically smaller than you." My wife is slightly shorter, but she has amassed a group of friends who are all shorter than her.
I would use this list to observe and play, not to emulate and aspire. It generally works better for someone with power to play the solidarity card with a "low" behavior than it does for someone without to attempt to play the authority card with an unsupported "high" behavior.
Also, read the room: the same behavior (eg selling golden shoes) codes as both, low or high, depending upon the observer.
50% it works. Falls under “Fake it ‘till you make it”, which is actually a guarantee, not just a cynical lament.
50% it absolutely doesn’t work. Humans are exceedincly perceptive of the state of each other. We sense a lot more than we’re conscious of. We’re especially attuned to fear. Fear takes delicate and abstract forms in emotional processing and in our little tells and reveals. Acting as high-status from a status perceived as low is fundamentally anxious, low-status and dissonant.
However!, becoming aware of the high/low status construction and becoming free from it while staying emotionally connected and secure… is high-status.
Ah, something occurs to me now: One thing is that we often inherit or pick up various signaling behaviors we simply aren’t aware of and may be low-status. Say, family mannerisms. It’s sometimes good to see these and park them as appropriate. (This can actually reduce disssonance.)
It’s good to play with this.
And. Play can be high-status.
Edit: Hah, one more:
A reason behind the fact that acting high-status can bring high status is that we are avid social learners and imitators. If you practice high-status you get good at it and it’s possible to learn from you which confers high status, so…
Sometimes the only way to win is to not play at all.
Breathe, be comfortable, speak at your own pace, listen carefully, speak clearly, think and take an extra breath before you act or speak out of passion. Be warm, be approachable. Keep your cool - don't let what others say affect your emotions.
These are all "high status" things that don't require you to care too much about whatever status games people are playing to score petty points. You can even choose to get out of someone's way if it makes sense and slow down a bit if they are in your way if that makes sense. Don't let all this status shit get inside your head - do your own thing, play your own game.
Of the 32 in the first two lists, I'd say at least 16 also apply to the usual farm domesticates. Maybe senior management needs to take up ranching as a hobby?
Feels like half the behaviours listed as low status would also be things associated with autism and other types of neurodiversity. For those of us in that situation, things like eye contact are difficult due to coming across as unnatural.
Makes me wonder if the high status behaviours listed here are associated with narcissism or what not.
I remember reading a long time ago about how slowly and deliberately the royal family moves. It also matches how characters like James Bond or Don Draper are nonreactive, never startled, always moving correctly. On the other hand, nerdy and anxious characters are always fidgety and clumsy. The main character in Silicon Valley is the best example.
I love how much you can learn about body language from movies, even if the scenes are written around the characters. I don’t Like YouTube PUA types, but Charisma on Command had a really good deconstruction of Don Draper and his demeanour.
Another film favourite of mine is a scene where Clark Kent removes his glasses while talking to Lois Lane who is off camera. His entire body language turns from Clark Kent to Superman.
Abed in Community also does it a lot when he becomes Han Solo or the guy from My Dinner With Andre. You can really see the differences because the same actor is playing different people.
The most useful part is in the comments. Quoting [1] for posterity:
> Honestly, reading LessWrong I sometimes feel like I've wandered into a bozo version of "The Invention of Lying", one set in the real world, in which the Ricky Gervais character and his chums are the only people to whom lying comes as a stunningly new idea. And they set out to get anything they want by lying, and for a while it works because no-one's expecting such idiocy, but eventually people get wise to them and they end up puzzled by why it isn't working, when it obviously must.
> Status signals are a known thing in the real world. False status signals are a known thing. People who habitually make falsely inflated status signals and imagine they are being taken seriously are a known thing. They are called "buffoons", "blowhards", "charlatans", "impostors", "humbugs", "phoneys", "all hat and no knickers", and with a thesaurus I might double the list. Even in the enclosed world of geekdom they are a known thing: Dilbert's boss. That is not something to practice being.
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[ 3.4 ms ] story [ 31.6 ms ] threadThe question I have is what kind of benefit would one expect by displaying high-status behaviors? Like, if I practice and apply this list, can it improve my life or my relationships?
My wife grew up relatively-wealthy and she displays most of the high-status behaviors (which is often frustrating to deal with). This one I found funny: "Being surrounded by an entourage, especially of people who are physically smaller than you." My wife is slightly shorter, but she has amassed a group of friends who are all shorter than her.
Also, read the room: the same behavior (eg selling golden shoes) codes as both, low or high, depending upon the observer.
50% it works. Falls under “Fake it ‘till you make it”, which is actually a guarantee, not just a cynical lament.
50% it absolutely doesn’t work. Humans are exceedincly perceptive of the state of each other. We sense a lot more than we’re conscious of. We’re especially attuned to fear. Fear takes delicate and abstract forms in emotional processing and in our little tells and reveals. Acting as high-status from a status perceived as low is fundamentally anxious, low-status and dissonant.
However!, becoming aware of the high/low status construction and becoming free from it while staying emotionally connected and secure… is high-status.
Ah, something occurs to me now: One thing is that we often inherit or pick up various signaling behaviors we simply aren’t aware of and may be low-status. Say, family mannerisms. It’s sometimes good to see these and park them as appropriate. (This can actually reduce disssonance.)
It’s good to play with this.
And. Play can be high-status.
Edit: Hah, one more:
A reason behind the fact that acting high-status can bring high status is that we are avid social learners and imitators. If you practice high-status you get good at it and it’s possible to learn from you which confers high status, so…
Breathe, be comfortable, speak at your own pace, listen carefully, speak clearly, think and take an extra breath before you act or speak out of passion. Be warm, be approachable. Keep your cool - don't let what others say affect your emotions.
These are all "high status" things that don't require you to care too much about whatever status games people are playing to score petty points. You can even choose to get out of someone's way if it makes sense and slow down a bit if they are in your way if that makes sense. Don't let all this status shit get inside your head - do your own thing, play your own game.
Makes me wonder if the high status behaviours listed here are associated with narcissism or what not.
I love how much you can learn about body language from movies, even if the scenes are written around the characters. I don’t Like YouTube PUA types, but Charisma on Command had a really good deconstruction of Don Draper and his demeanour.
Another film favourite of mine is a scene where Clark Kent removes his glasses while talking to Lois Lane who is off camera. His entire body language turns from Clark Kent to Superman.
Abed in Community also does it a lot when he becomes Han Solo or the guy from My Dinner With Andre. You can really see the differences because the same actor is playing different people.
> Honestly, reading LessWrong I sometimes feel like I've wandered into a bozo version of "The Invention of Lying", one set in the real world, in which the Ricky Gervais character and his chums are the only people to whom lying comes as a stunningly new idea. And they set out to get anything they want by lying, and for a while it works because no-one's expecting such idiocy, but eventually people get wise to them and they end up puzzled by why it isn't working, when it obviously must.
> Status signals are a known thing in the real world. False status signals are a known thing. People who habitually make falsely inflated status signals and imagine they are being taken seriously are a known thing. They are called "buffoons", "blowhards", "charlatans", "impostors", "humbugs", "phoneys", "all hat and no knickers", and with a thesaurus I might double the list. Even in the enclosed world of geekdom they are a known thing: Dilbert's boss. That is not something to practice being.
[1] https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/PMZHfLuQaeFDMQwMx/social-sta...