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I hope the end is nigh for discord. Really is one of the worst pieces of software I’ve ever used
What's a better alternative? I'd need something with voice/ video chats and servers
IRC

...oh... voice/video?

...not IRC

You can drop a link to a meeting in any chat
Matrix will do all that
My impression is that matrix is run badly. Am I wrong?
speaking as the project lead for Matrix: I haven’t done a great job of balancing “build new stuff to show off how amazing Matrix can be” and “make current stuff super polished and amazing”. However, we’ve spent the last few years plugging away addressing that, and I’d like to think the situation has improved significantly.

Another consideration is that nobody yet has consciously gone out to build a Discord killer on top of Matrix. Element is currently focused on being a WhatsApp replacement for government users (as a way to bring in $ to make payroll), which often explains why folks expecting it to be a drop in replacement for Discord users have to readjust their expectations a bit. That said, Element could certainly end up competing proactively with Discord in the longer term.

Meanwhile, Matrix certainly suffers from being successful enough to engender very strong feelings from folks who are disappointed in it. Whether that amounts to being run badly is probably a matter of perspective.

Bonus points if it’s encrypted enough to not have to worry about being snooped, open source, and/or easy to use
IRC + Mumble remain king, but you could also try XMPP or Matrix.
That reminds me, I was gonna add my girlfriend to my Matrix server.
Today in discord I got an ad for loot boxes. Every time I hovered over the ad blocking the bottom right of my screen it crashed. Everytine I played a YouTube video in the client it crashed. Every time I watched some screen share it crashed. Every time I shared screens it crashed. Discord has been mostly very nice for me but it’s a weird coincidence that when ads appeared the client became immediately less stable for me.
It was an April Fools thing. Still annoying, but temporary.