Show HN: I created an app for you to be a more unpredictable romantic partner (lovefuel.app)

106 points by Joakim_Habekost ↗ HN
Hi All!

Love Fuel aims to make you a romantic partner that is full of surprises. A partner that is unpredictable, in a fun and exciting way. The app does this, by giving you +450 surprise-ideas and by being a tool to plan actions.

As a happily married man, I didn't understand why there was no apps for already happy couples. Love Fuel focuses on excitement; not therapy; not emotional topics; not reconnecting.

One key feature is the reminders. As a technical solo-entrepreneur and married man, I understand we all get distracted sometimes, but that shouldn’t cause problems. Love Fuel has a hidden reminder system to nudge you to surprise your partner and shift your focus to what matters.

Please also feel free to check out PAS 1.0, our custom Personality Assessment AI-System. Its goal is simple, analyses you and your partner, and then provide personalized suggestions based on personality psychology. Together with a small group of psychologists here in Scandinavia we have used 2 years developing this new approach to Rec-Psych Systems. Many more features will be coming soon!

The app should be out in the US + EU on Apple Appstore now, and Google Play tomorrow.

I would love to get some feedback and any advice on my Love Fuel journey!

EDIT: A clarification. We do not sell or ever intend to sell data, no matter how lucrative it is, i would rather abandon the project than do that.

200 comments

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Was testing it and trying to create an account and got a random error because was not accepting the terms. The error should say “please accept the terms”instead.
Thank you for trying it out and letting me know, I will be sure to fix that in the next update!
I can just see it, “Did you buy me these flowers I was it that stupid app?”
If your SO would be annoyed at your romantic gesture because you got the idea from an app you might have other problems in that relationship. Generally, I find women appreciate the gesture, even if the idea isn't entirely original. People just like that you think about them.
With the increasing pushback against AI and reliance on technology, it might happen.
They would probably react that way since the partner was just following instructions of an app rather than something more romantic and genuine
I mean, if a robot told you to do it, then I would be inclined to argue that it’s _not a gesture.

> People just like that you think about them.

Indeed. The trouble here is that this rather seems like a _substitute_ for thinking about them.

My SO is very grateful for flowers she tells me to buy. I second your statement.
What "other problems in that relationship" do you think they might have?

Doing little surprises for someone, texting them to wish them a good day, etc, is a form of signalling. People like it because they know that you are thinking about them randomly, and that you care how they're doing. If you're simply using an app reminder to do stuff in order to grind relationship points, it has a completely different meaning.

Two or three times a year, I schedule a dozen emails to my wife. Just little missives that say something sweet that I appreciate about her. I spread them out over the next few months, so she gets little reminders from me that say I love you.

When I’m staring down a long, busy day and she looks run down, I schedule an email a few hours later to say “Hope your day is going well, you’re awesome and I’m grateful to have you.”

When my wife gets the emails, I’m almost certainly not thinking about her. I’m usually at work focused on work.

Am I doing romance wrong?

> Am I doing romance wrong?

If it works for you then maybe not.

Personally, I think that if there's time to schedule an email, then might as well just send a quick text message. That's more personal and allows for an instant response. I'd also never send an email for personal communication like that, but maybe that's just me.

Not sure if you are disagreeing with my comment but I don't see any contradiction. You are showing your wife that you are thinking about her and that you care about her wellbeing. The fact that there's a time lag between the moment you think about her and the moment she gets the message, isn't an issue.
Why isn't "downloading an app to help us have a more unpredictable romantic relationship" also thinking about her and caring about her wellbeing?
This. My partner has reminders in her calendar to leave me post it notes with a kind thought.

Double thoughtful.

"People just like that you think about them" - but this is an app telling you to think about them.
And the person who downloaded the app did it because they were thinking about their partner and their relationship. It's the example that others have mentioned of writing a reminder in a calendar to buy some flowers, or scheduling an email with a nice message; but instead of flowers or an email, the romantic gesture is going to be something unknown, and I suspect that's half the fun of an app like this. It's still got the same intent though – "I love my partner and I want to do something fun/romantic for them."
Haha, yes your concern is so valid, we did 150+ interviews to analyses potential social situations. But that is why the app suggests both partners to join the app. But let me know if it happens to you, would love to do more interviews1 ;)
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Is it inauthentic if I think back to romantic gestures I did 40 yrs ago and redo them?
Fun idea. It might worth getting some proof reading done on the FAQs. Some of them have small typos or are not particularly clear, especially "Why is Love Fuel a not couples game?"
Not supported in your region (I’m in France, on iOS).
True, due to the national data laws in France we are not ready to launch there yet. Sorry.
What is this again ? You mean that you are not GDPR compliant for an app that generates random phrases ? It feels like there is something shady.
Yes its GDPR compliant. Our team has simply never made one of the Apple Appstore Required Encryption documents, and due to that we decided to be on the safe side, and therefore wait with France untill tuesday next week when we can get help with it.
Trust me, you don't need any of that.
Can you tell me more? I am funded by The Danish Innovation Foundation, and so I always remain on the safe side, as recommended. It sounds like you have experience with this, do you have any good resources I perhaps can read or anything alike? :)
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Cool idea, but I do wish an account wasn’t necessary to use the app.
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Congrats on putting this out there in the world!

Quick landing page feedback: Could you update it so that the first two screen captures are not the same content? And then pick a different second example that isn't also about leaving a note? More variation in the landing page examples would give me a better intro.

Is it possible to just call them "researchers at xyz institute" and link to their lab rather than "Scandinavian researchers"?

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It might be inappropriate or disallowed to use the name of the institution in separate commercial promotion.

But mentioning Scandinavian seems savvy. If they hadn't said they were Scandinavian, I would've assumed the startup was totally full of poo, because many of the signs thus far look like stereotypical US techbro sociopathy. If I had that reaction as a US techbro myself, then presumably some Europeans they might be speaking to (as prospective investors, hires, or users) would also have that reaction.

Thank you for answering for me. And yes this is the case, the contracts with Scandinavian Universities are very slow and heavy. But the process has started.
Why is it not available in the Canadian app store?
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Annoying, but fair data laws of the world, this case: Canada. Hopefully will be okay next week.
Canadian couples are even-keeled, rather than imprudently ‘happy’.
I like the idea, but the fact I have to create an account and upload a profile picture immediately put me off. I created one with fake data and a random image, once in the app it appears to just exist to hover up personal data. Then you have to create and link a partners account to get more than 5 or so ideas…

I’d honestly rather pay a small one off fee for this same app, without the need for an account.

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Couldn’t this just be an email or text based service? Why a mobile app?
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Because that already exists and is ChatGPT
Perhaps the lack of availability in certain countries due to their data laws is a sign that this app really shouldn’t require an account. If the ultimate goal of this free app is monetizing my data, no thanks.
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One of the most important characteristics in a partner is authenticity.

If they didn't think of getting you flowers themself (and had to use an app), is that real?

So you don’t have a birthday calendar?
> If they didn't think of getting you flowers themself (and had to use an app), is that real?

I did confess to my girlfriend once that I'd never thought of getting her flowers, and that every time I had bought her flowers in the past was actually just the output of a Chinese room. [1]

She said it was fine, and she liked the flowers either way.

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room

They didn't think of it "themselves," but they did choose to do it.
Well, they cared enough to use the app. Doesn't that count for something?
What if they thought of using an app to think up ways to make you happy
That's a 10x lover!
I’d say yes. We are all flawed. It’s not because you are busy or because your brain is tired that you don’t love your partner.

Being spontaneous requires energy. A lot of people lack energy but still loves their partner.

Following the prompt isn’t mandatory, just take it as a source of inspiration for when you want to be kind but have no idea.

> Being spontaneous requires energy. A lot of people lack energy but still loves their partner.

The point is that you have a limited amount of energy, but you chose to dedicate some of it to something your partner would like.

Optimising by reducing the amount of energy you use to do that defeats the purpose.

Uh huh.

Try having a couple kids and then apply this kind of reasoning. There simply isn’t enough time or energy to do everything you want for your family.

If you can leverage technology and good ideas to enhance your experiences and relationships, do it.

Yeah honestly I’d be very happy to be at the receiving end of such an app.

(But not this one because I’m pretty suspicious about this mandatory account creation and the fact that they didn’t release in France because of data laws - which are not stronger than GDPR)

Hi, Thank you for your comment, regarding the Data Laws in France, they require a datasheet of encryption for Apple Appstore, something our team have never made before. Otherwise the data law is the same, yes. Any tips are welcome.
If your application doesn’t implement custom encryption code (which it probably does not) you can just check the "None" option, even if your app does use encryption (which it probably does if you are using https for example).

As long as your app is not providing an encryption algorithm, you are fine ignoring this.

It’s also fine if you do use encryption with the Apple provided libraries since in this case you are not providing encryption code but just using it.

In fact, nobody cares about this in France, it looks like Apple is the only one being so bureaucratic about this stupid declaration. It’s pretty specific, absolutely not verified by anyone (our current government is obsessed with public expenses reduction so you can easily imagine that nobody cares about the version of RSA a random foreign app uses).

This declaration is only useful for apps that have encryption in their core business (password managers, encryption of files …).

IIRC, this declaration is only a mean for the national cybersecurity agency to know if a given application can become a threat for national security if it happens to use outdated or flawed encryption. It’s not to give them access to anything (you just declare algorithms, not the keys).

It’s a frequent thing that happens to frighten foreign developers and we regularly have unavailable apps for this reason because it’s true it’s unclear.

Thank you so much for taking your time to write this in-depth comment! Based on advice from you, and others, the app is now launched in EU (incl. France), US, Canada, and UK on both Andriod and iOS. Thx!
You are being quite patronising. I have two children.
Respectfully, I think you’re limiting the valuation to just the culturally propagated version of “caring”.

Some people wake up naturally in the morning. Some people need an alarm. They can both care deeply about the reason they’re waking up (a job, an appointment, whatever) but for some people, they need the extra help.

For some, setting the reminder is the effort and energy that shows you care. It’s worth saying though that the most important thing is doing the things that show your partner that you care.

Waking up on time is an end in itself. The point is not to show that you have made an effort.

For some other things that we might try to do, the point is to make an effort.

I would say using this app to try and surprise/do nice things for your partner is, in fact, making an effort: going out of your way to think of nice things to do with them.

People are all different. The idea of getting flowers for your partner, or leave cheesy notes for them, might come natural to some and not to others. Another comment pointed out how having ADHD makes it hard to remember to do the sort of stuff this app might suggest, so it can be a great help.

Besides, is this different from scrolling through social media and seeing couples activities and deciding to try them? Is this different from seeing a florist ad while walking and deciding to buy flowers? If anything, going out of your way to install an app shows more care and effort than these "spontaneous" activities.

At any rate, spontaneity is overrated, especially in relationships (maybe because of Hollywood relationships?). Constance, effort, care, are more important... you still need to keep things fresh tho

If spontaneity is overrated then why participate in a simulacrum of spontaneity?

This app doesn't suggest that you do longer term things to support your partner and make their life easier. It proposes that you fake being in a honeymoon stage by eg leaving cute little notes.

> It proposes that you fake being in a honeymoon stage by eg leaving cute little notes.

Well, yes. And you know what ? Faking being in a honeymoon is enjoyable for both you and your partner. As you said, available time is limited, which is also true with your lifetime. Not doing something both you or your partner would enjoy because you feel like it’s not spontaneous is in fact wasting joyful moments.

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Is it real if they just buy the flowers instead of growing them? If they take you to a restaurant where someone else cooks the food and not them? It's not like this app is taking anyone by the marionette strings and forcing them to be romantic - they're still seeking out romantic ideas to make their partner happy, picking one, and carrying it out. Sure, showing personal creativity might be more romantic, but I don't think seeking out fun ideas that your partner will enjoy is particularly inauthentic.
Yeah, it does count. I don't remember all my friend's birthdays off the top of my head. I write them in Google Calendar. It definitely gives people a better, and more appreciated, experience by having their important dates remembered via the use of technology vs being forgotten entirely.

It seems fine to extend this rationale out further.

Depends.

If someone defers their decision making process to an app and blindly gets flowers when it tells them to, I wouldn’t like that.

If someone uses an app like this as an inspiration or a reminder, then I could see this working well.

And then again there is the gray area where things get mixed.

I think someone downloading an app to help them be more spontaneous for a partner who wants that is extremely authentic, it takes someone seeing that they have a blind spot.
One of the ways you become authentic is by practicing something you want to become. It’s doing the thing consistently that leads to character development. Also, if you and your partner value different love languages (my partner is meh on flowers, I spent time in high school doing floral arrangements) then having a guide to help you translate could be super helpful. Disappointed this is EU and USA only for now but will see if it shows up in my country soon.
jmcmaster Thank you for taking the time to comment!! Let me know where you are from and I can let you know. I'm working as fast as possible, but I'm also being careful, I really don't want to do anything wrong with the datalaws. So for now we are only publishing when we know we are good, legally speaking.
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If I set a calendar reminder to call my mom on Mother's Day, is that less authentic?
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So, following your line of reasoning: buying jewelry, flowers, going to a movie or a restaurant is all bullshit and inauthentic because you didn’t have it as an original idea?

I guess I understand your desire to be creative and original in expressing affection. But, in the real world, ideas are cheap and execution is the hard part!

Is it more real because it's the result of decades of marketing efforts, as almost all flower purchases are?
I think this deserves some expansion.

In receiving flowers, the value the recipient gets is not so much the flowers themselves, but by what the gift betrays about your mind state. This authentic information about your mind state is what makes the act “real”.

So it is reasonable to consider the act less real or even a bit deceptive if the mind state that you’d first expect the act to imply (they care about me and thought to get flowers) does not reflect your true mind state (they cared about me enough at some point in the past to set up this app).

I think your looking at this wrong. They care about you enough that they wanted to keep the relationship interesting and not fall into the trap of complacency that's so easy to fall into as time rolls on. Enough that they took steps to remind themselves not to take you for granted, and still enough that they take those reminders to heart. It's not like getting flowers or planning a picnic or whatever becomes zero effort because an app reminded you. You had to look at that reminder and care to act upon it.
That's all true. I'm just saying if they knew that you needed this app to get them flowers, then a.) they would likely feel a bit disappointed vs. if it was all you, and b.) that is not unreasonable.
I think you're saying "it's the thought that counts" and it's good enough that they thought to get you something, even if the idea comes from an app?

But then why use an app at all then, you could get them a used bottlecap and "it's the thought that counts"

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Imo hn isn't just for people posting open source, but also for sharing what you've built. As long as someone isn't spamming I think this kind of thing is fine.

I do think it's a little off that they're posting from a new account, whereas ideally they'd already be involved. Maybe they didn't want to associate this with their actual account for some reason?

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Not available in Chile :(
Or NZ
Or Sweden.
Sorry, do you mean on Andriod or IOS? (I live in Sweden ... and can download on IOS) If Android, then it is because we are waiting for Google Playstore Approval.
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Wish it was a website instead of an app.
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I could actually see an app making sense, because then you can easily do everything it does totally offline and private.

Of course, the fact that it wants to create an account rather undermines that.

> This item is not available in your country

UK.

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"Not available in your region." You're saying it's because of data privacy laws. I'm in the EU, so it's not available in the whole EU? Why even is it so privacy sensitive? Do I have to share any private information to use the app?
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Yeah, weird. It should be just a set of suggestions and yet it wants so much data from the users.
The EU rules are essentially that if you give them information for a particular purpose, they can only use it for that purpose and no other. So they obviously want to break this.

Doubtless if you use this you're training a model that understands what kind of interactions romantic partners find meaningful and sentimental.

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I hope my partner never finds about this.

Getting random "prank" tickets sounds like torture :/

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It says not available in Canada, just pointing it out in case that was not intended
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> This item is not available in your country

United States on Android?

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