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I would be serving multiple life sentences.
Now, that would be progress! ;)
People are not stupid, they do stupid things and they have stupid thoughts. Incessant worrying about so-called “cancel culture” is an example of one of these stupid thoughts, and dedicating time and energy to writing about it an example of such a stupid thing to do. Repeatedly expressing such stupid thoughts can, wrongly, lead to self and others labelling self as stupid, but self can (and hopefully will) grow out and away from such stupid thoughts. All human beings hold the capacity to move beyond stupid thoughts and stupid actions, and it would be stupid not to encourage them to do so.
What if publishing stupid hypotheticals were a crime?

(pedantry: stupid exercises involving stupidly misinterpreting actually frictional slopes would be more of a crime than a tort; it's not that it harms any individual —who is free to waste their own time—, but rather that it collectively harms humanity)

EDIT: on a serious note, calling someone stupid is generally done for something they can change; easily even.

EDIT2: I'm stupid: the parent comment already said that much better than I did.