Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

If you want simplicity, go for a joint checking and savings, if there's a personal goal to be saved for by one of you, see if your bank offers 'vaults' that we can squirrel money away until you can purchase the camera or car part or whatever it is. Keeping most things in one place generally maximizes simplicity.

Joint account for daily stuff (I guess that’s checking) plus a joint savings for big things, rest is separate. We pay in an agreed fixed amount each month, which needs to be semi regularly raised lately due to inflation etc etc…

We just continued with our existing accounts, except that one of us now has a savings account which we both pay any surplus into each month. Works for us.

Joint checking account, credit card for each of us with good rewards for all spending, YNAB for budgeting with a category for each of us for our discretionary spending.

It’s not perfect, but I’m a strong believer in separate checking accounts at the same bank

For large items we’ll transfer back and forth as needed and one person makes the payment.

My partner and I have very different spending habits, and seeing that line-by-line would cause daily friction.

Having them separated gives us both discretion and autonomy.

We have two joint checking accounts and three* joint credit card accounts, one of which is logically "mine" and one which is logically "hers" and we freely flow money between them on the rare occasions when it's needed, but day-to-day we have clear single-user management (to avoid overdrafts, spot anomalies, etc.).

We have "calibrated" the direct deposit amounts to minimize the need to move money across the accounts. If money "backs up" in one or the other, we move it into investments, but month-to-month, practically everything is on autopilot.

I think that's about as operationally simple as it gets, which was also a huge priority for us.

Savings and investments are all consolidated and jointly-owned wherever possible and I maintain a periodic (slightly more than quarterly) update of that manually by looking at the Vanguard, Etrade, Fidelity, etc accounts.

* The third credit card account is a Chase Amazon account for the better cash back on that card. It's only used for Amazon, so it's easier to spot anything unusual.

- Both in our early 30s, no kids.

- Our salary goes to our individual savings accounts.

- A shared checkings account gets topped up to $5000 every month, proportionally to both of our salaries, to optimize for equal purchasing power when buying shared stuff.

- We don't really budget anything because we save quite a bit, but we do classify all bank transactions into a few categories and look at a month-by-month matrix every few months.

- Both the topping up and generating the analytics are automated processes, so it's pretty headache-free.

Mostly separate finances: individual checking accounts, individual savings accounts, individual credit cards...and one shared savings account. I'm the only one with a paycheck but my wife gets paid a set amount into her checking account every other week. Bonuses get split between us 3 ways usually...between each savings account we have. I take care of all bills except her credit cards.

Whatever you decide, its important that the spouse is really, actually OK with it and understands it. Its nice to have one partner take care of "money stuff" but it's also nice to know you are able to do things independently of them if you need to. This is why most of our finances are shared, but we each have a separate account that we keep relatively well-funded that the other has no access to. I don't think either of us uses these except to check the balance, but if either of us suddenly needed to, say, buy airline tickets to get out of town in a hurry, we wouldn't need the permission of the other. We obviously also have our own 401ks.

I think this peace of mind keeps decisions about joint assets less contentious.

We have our own separate accounts with one joint checking account. We transfer money into the joint account for any shared expense.

Joint checking, joint investments, joint credit cards. A couple inherited accounts that we kept in their individual name. We don't worry about it.

Congratulations!

Finances are a common source of strife in marriages. Getting and staying on the same page is critical. Communicate about finances openly and often. Budget together. Review the budget together regularly. It sounds like you are already starting this. That is a good sign. Never stop.

As far as your specific question: I'd recommend joint for day to day and emergency fund. While its simpler, the main reason is mental: its not my money and your money, its our money. We do keep investments separate, but its still "ours".

That is just a recommendation though. Its more important that you both talk about and agree on your approach.

Whatever you decide, get it in writng and signed by both of them. This is the only way to avoid future arguments which, as you surely know, will happen in the happiest of families.

When I got married we ended up merging her acct (same brick and mortar bank) into mine and adding her on the acct along with opening a savings account . Nowadays we also have accounts with online banks that have high yield savings and part of our checks go into both banks. The online bank savings accounts has different “silos” that can be setup for various purposes soI transfer money into each of these monthly. My wife and I don’t do individual wants/splurges silos but this is a great place to save individually while still getting high interest.

We have a hybrid approach--we each have our own bank accounts and credit cards, but also a joint savings account and a joint checking account that covers regular household expenses. My wife is pretty good at doing the budgeting thing and makes monthly-averaged estimates of the regular bills. We have a joint credit card for shopping for stuff like groceries and other household supplies. We've been doing it this way for 20+ years and everything gets paid for and we rarely argue about money.

You don't want to know what we do.

You want to know what is going to work for you.

What conversations have you had with your future spouse about finances? What do you value (e.g. what is worth parting with you money for)? How do make decisions about day to day spending, big expenses, savings rate, long-term planning, investing, retirement?

Are you on the same page on all of those things? Do you disagree on how much to save and invest?

Is "simplicity" the only thing you really prioritize?

All money is our money, and our number one financial priority is our child. We are both on the same page on this.

Our finances are quite simple at this point. We both work but my income is higher than hers. We each maintain our own accounts and credit cards and generally pay for our own personal purchases. For shared things, we either split them proportionately or 50/50 and one of us pays the bill and the other uses Cash App to reimburse for their portion. (We're also new at this, having been married less than a year and our strategy may change in the future.)

Sharing accounts is like sharing a toothbrush, that's my philosophy ;)

We have a joint checking account. I automatically draw our investments to our joint Fidelity account.

I try to keep a balance of $50k in our checking account (it's a minimum that our bank sets to give us perks and a free safety deposit box). At the end of the month, if we over that, my partner knows that we can splurge on dining, vacations, or other stuff. If we are under that, we tighten our spending for a bit until we are back over it.

I tried all sorts of budgeting and tracking ideas, but most just weren't worth the effort.

Two young professionals, no kids.

We each have our own bank account(s) and credit cards and our own budget in YNAB. I manage both budgets but only do hers when she’s present.

We agreed on what constitutes a shared expense ahead of time (mortgage, utilities, etc) and split them based on what percentage of last month’s household income (post-tax) each of us earned. This is variable since we both do some contracting/consulting outside of our day jobs.

For going out, vacations, shared groceries, etc., we just split things as we go. We have a joint savings account that we put the same amount of money in each month and use for travel etc.

A friend and his girlfriend have a joint credit card that they put all shared expenses on and split at the end of each month, but managing that in YNAB is not the smoothest so we haven’t done that yet. Might write some software to make it easier.

Get a pre-nup, they're cheap. I didn't set up any joint accounts with my spouse so I kept most of my money when we divorced.

I used combinations of checks, cash, and PayPal to give them money when they needed it. Eventually I admitted I didn't want a partner who never had any income of their own.

If you can really help it, don't marry anyone.

It's not super simple, but here's how we did it for a long time:

All of your income that's not invested for retirement goes to a joint account, every 1st of the month. From that joint account, you then move the money to many different accounts and/or prepaid credit cards: - Day to day expenses, like groceries. - "Irregularities": municipal taxes, school taxes, things that don't happen every month, like car inspection, veterinary, vacation expenses. You add everything in a spreadsheet that you keep, and divide by 12. Add some padding. - Home improvements, aka "IKEA" account. Fixed amount every month. If it's a good that you buy to add you our home (coffee machine, chair, curtain, etc.), that's the account. If it's a consumable (gas for the car), use "day to day expenses". - Individual accounts: each one of you have an account that you decide what to do with. Buying clothes, hobby, etc. aka "I'm an adult, I do what I want". - Kids: There's always something to buy. Clothes, etc. - Automatic payments are taken from the main joint account, but you could also have another account if it makes it easier.

This method can get confusing and you may need to move money from one account to another one when the wrong card was used. But the main advantage is that it automatically budgets for you. You see the amount remaining for the month for everything. Otherwise, you may think that you still have plenty of money to spend on the grocery, so you buy a nice coffee machine, and then the mortgage and car payments happen and you're left with nothing for the rest of the month to do the grocery.

The main goals we had when using this method were to never use a credit card (and lose track of how much money we have), and also accommodate for the discrepancy in our revenues at the time.

Salaries go to a joint savings account.

Bills / savings/ investments / daily living expenses come from that (via credit card or checking account).

We also pay each other some pocket money to spend on our own hobbies and other stuff.

We put money into a shared account for joint expenses, and she and I keep separate finances for ourselves, like whatever else is left over. I also try to put extra into the joint so we can have a joint savings, for emergencies and what not. My wife has her own personal savings as well, that she's always had.

I recommend just opening a shared account and putting a bit above the bare minimum into it. Keep some "you" cash so you can always buy yourself stuff, and you know, if you're ever buying surprise presents, she doesn't need to know. ;) Other people just join it all, and call it a day.

I only join whatever is a dual-expense, otherwise, its either on her, or on me solely.