I agree with machrider that it depends on what you want to do with the language. Since you're browsing HN, I assume that the most likely scenario is to create either a website or IOS/Android app.
Website: I would recommend Ruby or Python and the use of http://learncodethehardway.org/. Both languages provide low-friction introductions to programming, and have large communities focused on web development.
IOS App: Objective-C is the smoothest choice at the moment, but it (and IOS development in general) have steep learning curves.
Android: Java is the language for you, and there are tons of introductory materials for learning it. But the learning curve here will be fairly steep as well.
I would start with a little Unix (OS X Terminal, Linux or CygWin on the PC) until you feel comfortable navigating the file system, creating, viewing and deleting files directly or via an editor like vi, emacs or nano. Then move on to Ruby or Python.
Aim to be comfortable programatically manipulating text files at a minimum. Maybe install a library that allows you to manipulate Excel spreadsheets, if that is what you use for your numbers. Then try connecting to a databases to run queries/perform updates, and hook it all together into a mini app you run from the command line and does something you find useful.
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[ 1064 ms ] story [ 792 ms ] threadWebsite: I would recommend Ruby or Python and the use of http://learncodethehardway.org/. Both languages provide low-friction introductions to programming, and have large communities focused on web development.
IOS App: Objective-C is the smoothest choice at the moment, but it (and IOS development in general) have steep learning curves.
Android: Java is the language for you, and there are tons of introductory materials for learning it. But the learning curve here will be fairly steep as well.
Best of luck on your journey!
Aim to be comfortable programatically manipulating text files at a minimum. Maybe install a library that allows you to manipulate Excel spreadsheets, if that is what you use for your numbers. Then try connecting to a databases to run queries/perform updates, and hook it all together into a mini app you run from the command line and does something you find useful.