Can't open bank account due to silly address mismatch

I'm trying to open a new checking account.

I just got divorced and moved to a condo, which I recently purchased outright.

The bank, BMO, requires one of: a matching driver's license; a lease; a mortgage statement or a utility bill.

Well, I haven't yet updated my license, because I just moved. Since I own outright, I have neither lease nor mortgage. Ok here's my utility bill...

Approval Denied: Utility bill says "BSMT" but application says "Unit G"

Well, my condo is a "Garden Unit", sometimes called "Unit G", but People's Gas hard-coded it as "BSMT".

BMO says I should reapply with "BSMT"

So no one really cares about the actual address. They only care about exact string match.

UGH!