HN Explorer

Ask HN: Anyone else pretend to get a phone call to escape awkward moments?

2 points by chetansorted ↗ HN
I’ve noticed that whenever I’m in uncomfortable social situations (like standing alone at a café, or stuck in small talk I don’t want), I instinctively reach for my phone and pretend I’m on a call.

It started as a way to avoid eye contact, but now it’s almost my go-to “defense mechanism.”

Sometimes I even wish my phone would actually ring at those moments, so I’d have a natural excuse to step away.

Does anyone else do this? Is this just a “me thing,” or a common social anxiety coping habit?

I’m curious how others manage these awkward situations—do you use tricks like this, or something else that helps?

3 comments

[ 4.7 ms ] story [ 15.2 ms ] thread
galaxy_gas
you couldn't bother writing one sentence of your pitch yourself?
k310
Closest I've come is being in some interminable meeting with the boss. Just too long. In the age of dinosaurs, we had only desk phones, so I would hold a sheet of paper behind my back saying "Call Me". And there are lots of fake call apps, or you could even put up a home screen with a fake call photo of someone notorious. Unfortunately, notoriety these days is not for good reasons.

That said, please build up some self-confidence, and have some really good reasons to break out of chit-chat, like "I'm late for a zoom meeting" or "Shit, I left my keys in the car". People say, rightly so, that "it's not about you".

In my fly-tying days, I'd feel weird about going to a sewing store. Heck, they had all kinds of yarn, burlap and scissors ideal for fly-tying. I got over the feeling, because "nobody really cares".

Besides, a little notebook or block of postit-notes looks smart. "I have to write down this idea before it goes away forever" and that's so often the truth.

Building self-confidence (or just a don't give a shit attitude) prevents the social anxiety, so you don't have to solve it.

newscombinatorY
I wish I were creative enough to hold a natural conversation with an imaginary caller for more than 15 seconds, without feeling more awkward than I did in the actual situation I was trying to escape.