I take from this you would like to be employed? If so, what are you doing to change the situation (instead of coping with it as it stands)?
I know it's hard out there (at least where I am) but I have helped a few people get jobs in the last 90 days, so please share the barrier you're facing and maybe someone can help.
Making ends meet with a return to non-tech after a 3 decade break. Won’t ever stop doing that at least part-time, going forward, for security. For tech, focused on a body of work to create opportunities.
It was 16 months for me in engineering management but then I wasn’t really looking for the first 6 months so probably closer to 10 months. Been employed for over a year now with a drastic pay increase.
Best time of my life honestly, after 15 years of working. I realized I get 0 pleasure from working and have plenty of things to occupy me if I wasn’t. I learned I don’t need a purpose in life. What I really love is running, woodworking, reading, eating, lifting weights, traveling and spending time with my family.
I learned an instrument (guitar), then I learned another instrument (bass guitar). I caught up with my family, I got to spend a lot more time with my nephews and nieces. I got to spend a lot of time with my dad. I picked back up circuit design and made an overdrive guitar pedal from scratch and learned KiCad in the process. I caught up with old friends but lost touch with other ones. I probably acted like an ass to a lot of people. I finally came to understand why people like watching sports. I learned how to write in cursive. I walked a lot. I listened to a lot of music. I listened to some podcasts.
I dunno, it sucks and its painful. You're constantly worried and people who at first try to support you then get pissed off at you for something you can't really control. I hope you can find your way through it.
I've been unemployed for almost three years. It's somewhat intentional - at least leaving my last job was and I've been dragging my feet. Hopefully will have a job in upper management at the start of next year if things work out.
Coping by trying my best to become the type of person that I aspire to be. Quit weed, alcohol, caffeine. Lost 20lbs of fat and put on some muscle. Run 6 days a week, lift 3-4 days a week. Meal prep all my foods and getting into a good routine about those things.
Taught myself Rust and ECS and tried my hand at building a game. Built an Arduino prototype of some hardware a friend wanted to see exist, but ended up not trying to take it further. Built a website to help people play a video game better, it became popular while the game was trending, and made ~3-6k/mo running ads on the site. Went to Burning Man for the first time.
Now I'm kind of out of things that sound fun/purposeful and having a purpose dropped into my lap by working on an ongoing project with an existing team sounds more appealing than it did when I left the work world. So, slowly going back that way and hoping to hold onto all my good vibes and positive habits as I do so.
It's not exactly what I expected to spend three years of unemployment doing. I wish I felt more "accomplished" in how I used my time. But idk. Just kept myself busy with things that sounded meaningful in the moment. Now making money sounds more appealing than having more free time so hopefully jumping back in isn't too much of a shock.
I was arrested for reasons I still do not understand for 1.5 years as the charges and reason(s) for my arrest make no sense, so in that sense, yes. Developed intensified bipolar disorder while locked up in jail. Biding my time until the charges get dropped or I get declared innocent by a judge so I can file a lawsuit against the police department. All that's left to do is wait, either for lawsuit time or for job applications to come through and hope there isn't a thorough background check (there hasn't been for most of my positions so far).
Retired - sort of - when the remains of my last two start-ups died (in the same month!) after the pandemic and were sold for OK money. Now doing a part-time PhD working fixing the climate.
Coping - generally fine - helped by building up a new network of friends and doing things like going clubbing and going to music festivals and giving talks and running voluntary orgs. Just been out for beers with my mentee; he will be giving a talk at a session that I am running tomorrow with the local council.
I've been unemployed for about 1 year now. I was in SF working in tech for about 7 years, and decided I don't want to do that anymore, so I quit.
It's been tough. The hardest part about being unemployed is it is very hard to structure your days because work is no longer the thing that is forcing you to get up, get out, go to bed on time, etc. It's also a strange feeling having to spend from your savings/emergency fund without money coming in, you feel bad and guilty for doing so, it's weird.
I'm changing careers. I've always liked teaching, so I'm doing volunteer english teaching while preparing to apply to go back to school in order to get a Masters in Education.
In the mean time, I'm also doing other small things. Learning about AI, going to board game meetups, doing some traveling, overall it's not the most fun part of my life, but I'm treating it as I will look back on this and realize this was necessary.
Yes, laid off in 2023 and haven't found a tech job since. Due to significant life and family health circumstances, anything that isn't a career job is hard to justify while caring for myself and others.
I've spent the last two years volunteering a local bike co-op and getting way to into bike building and cycling generally. Additionally, I spend a lot of time doing what I can to help my local trans community (that I am a part of). This work has gifted me with perspectives I would never have seen otherwise, and has really helped my organizational and soft skills.
Tech wise, I only do hobby projects now, and it's really wonderful in some ways. Having the professional experience I do, but the free time to work on projects that I want has helped me learn so much and really push my understanding of all sorts of technology.
When the job market eventually gets better, I will be able to approach it with a confidence that I didn't feel was earned before. That's really my cope lol
Last year, I decided to leave the small agency where I had worked for almost 6 years because, being a family-owned business, it was terrible for everybody (except for the bootlickers). The first few months were decent, having time to do almost anything, but then I started to feel miserable seeing how my bank account was getting close to empty and not receiving any calls from my job applications. Job searching has to be one of the worst experiences I have ever had, but my blog (alprado.com) was an incredibly therapeutic tool.
I've been out of work coming up to six years. I had to look after my dad during the pandemic. I've been looking for work in London, UK, since January. During that time I've had a total of 2 interviews. Recruiters, who seem to do a keyword search only, message me from time-to-time on LinkedIn. I reply and they almost invariably never respond, presumably because they look more closely and see the large gap in employment.
What complicates things for me is being legally blind. I have enough vision to use a computer, but not much else and so I don't have the breadth of career options available to me that most people do. I need a way back in.
I keep reading, and I keep playing with code like I always have. I'm comfortable with C#, JavaScript and their respective ecosystems. It's like riding a bike. But convincing other people of that, recruiters especially, is proving to be a problem.
As for how I'm coping, I'm very up and down. It's hard not to feel that my career might be over. So when interviews have come up, I'm extremely nervous despite never having that problem in the past where I'd usually interview well.
Somehow, at least for now, I've kept going. Thanks for starting the thread.
You're in the UK: take advantage of the various schemes that allow people with disabilities to get guaranteed first interviews.
If you need any software job you might even have luck with graduate schemes at companies like BT who I believe will have similar shortcuts through recruitment for those with disabilities.
I am not stopping until I am a successful entrepreneur. I refuse to go back to a full-time software job. I have had to do some long stints freelancing or agency work to make ends meet. Gotta do what you gotta do.
But I'm not going back or stopping until I make it.
I had a bout of poor health. And now I'm isolated and I don't know how to get reconnected to other people.
I'm not coping terribly well. I think what is most distressing is that I am observing a decline in my capacity. I feel mentally sluggish. I frustrate more easily. I tire more easily. Probably most worryingly to me I get spikes of aggression that lead to combative outbursts. I feel less empathetic, even mildly sadistic at times. Very hard to control the envy and the average person I interact with evokes envy.
Everyone in my life tells me I need to get working again (yes thank you it's obvious). Not even for the money, but just to have a purpose and structure and a social life. A common sentiment. But I've come to understand that it is backwards. Employment is secondary, and it follows from having a social network and being embedded in a social context.
Poverty alters your brain in strange ways. For an example I've been thinking about lately, the world is getting very small. I was late for an important appointment. It simply did not occur to me to take a taxi. I just don't do that anymore. It's sort of categorically ruled out as "expensive luxury". Such a difference from a few years ago! Would have ordered the taxi without even thinking.
On the plus side I quit smoking and lost a bunch of weight and I'm physically in the best shape I've ever been.
Took me 15 months to find a job after a layoff and then I accepted the first offer that came, which is basically worse in every aspect compared to my previous job. I've read all your stories and feel unexpectedly so connected with each of you. It can be hard. I just want to wish you all the best.
Lost my job in early 2023. Couldn't find anything (25 years of exp, director of engineering managerial/technical type, great at what i do by past coworkers/bosses admission). By EOY I had to sell my house, figured I could use the (significant) profits to buy time or I could travel and make the time a little more enjoyable, so I set out to explore most of Europe thinking, well I'll for sure find a job before I run out of money! Another year went by, hundreds of applications, no job. Back home now, living in rather inadequate accommodations thinking "any day now!" Applied to ~400 jobs in the last 1.5 months (because at this point I'm applying to everything that moves), 3 interviews, 3 ghostings. Everyone's rejecting for real shitty reasons, I could go on for a bit about that.
After reading through this thread, do you not think you might be being overly selective? You said you're only really applying to European jobs but hiring people that need working visas is usually a pretty big detractor. No LinkedIn can work, but in the LLM era you need something to prove you're real and you also stated you haven't been asking previous coworkers for referrals. It's very normal here to ask coworkers for referrals so I assume it's a cultural difference? But they usually get you to the interview stage. Your resume is likely not baring you but if you are applying to large enough companies that have thousands of applications on each role, they are using LLMs to filter them down. You should be running your resume against an "Act as a hiring manager" style prompt to see if you're getting filtered that way.
138 comments
[ 5.1 ms ] story [ 154 ms ] threadI know it's hard out there (at least where I am) but I have helped a few people get jobs in the last 90 days, so please share the barrier you're facing and maybe someone can help.
After 4 years at AWS, and ~20 in the industry, I was utterly burnt out, and needed a break. So I took two years off.
It definitely hit my self-esteem, as well as 401(k).
I ended up taking a job with Microsoft, but it was a poor fit because I hate the company as well as the product area I was in.
As soon as I could I found another employer that, while not perfect, I'm much happier with.
But emotionally, much better off than last year.
Making ends meet with a return to non-tech after a 3 decade break. Won’t ever stop doing that at least part-time, going forward, for security. For tech, focused on a body of work to create opportunities.
Optimistic.
Been about eight years, and, after I got over the butthurt of not being hired, I leaned into retirement (I am grateful to have the means).
Best thing that ever happened to me.
Best time of my life honestly, after 15 years of working. I realized I get 0 pleasure from working and have plenty of things to occupy me if I wasn’t. I learned I don’t need a purpose in life. What I really love is running, woodworking, reading, eating, lifting weights, traveling and spending time with my family.
I dunno, it sucks and its painful. You're constantly worried and people who at first try to support you then get pissed off at you for something you can't really control. I hope you can find your way through it.
Coping by trying my best to become the type of person that I aspire to be. Quit weed, alcohol, caffeine. Lost 20lbs of fat and put on some muscle. Run 6 days a week, lift 3-4 days a week. Meal prep all my foods and getting into a good routine about those things.
Taught myself Rust and ECS and tried my hand at building a game. Built an Arduino prototype of some hardware a friend wanted to see exist, but ended up not trying to take it further. Built a website to help people play a video game better, it became popular while the game was trending, and made ~3-6k/mo running ads on the site. Went to Burning Man for the first time.
Now I'm kind of out of things that sound fun/purposeful and having a purpose dropped into my lap by working on an ongoing project with an existing team sounds more appealing than it did when I left the work world. So, slowly going back that way and hoping to hold onto all my good vibes and positive habits as I do so.
It's not exactly what I expected to spend three years of unemployment doing. I wish I felt more "accomplished" in how I used my time. But idk. Just kept myself busy with things that sounded meaningful in the moment. Now making money sounds more appealing than having more free time so hopefully jumping back in isn't too much of a shock.
Coping - generally fine - helped by building up a new network of friends and doing things like going clubbing and going to music festivals and giving talks and running voluntary orgs. Just been out for beers with my mentee; he will be giving a talk at a session that I am running tomorrow with the local council.
Where would you start?
Curious, what bit are you working on to help fix this? Research as you’re doing a PhD?
Reading “Reinventing Fire” currently. So much needs to change, but it feels like there is zero political will to address this crisis.
It's been tough. The hardest part about being unemployed is it is very hard to structure your days because work is no longer the thing that is forcing you to get up, get out, go to bed on time, etc. It's also a strange feeling having to spend from your savings/emergency fund without money coming in, you feel bad and guilty for doing so, it's weird.
I'm changing careers. I've always liked teaching, so I'm doing volunteer english teaching while preparing to apply to go back to school in order to get a Masters in Education.
In the mean time, I'm also doing other small things. Learning about AI, going to board game meetups, doing some traveling, overall it's not the most fun part of my life, but I'm treating it as I will look back on this and realize this was necessary.
Best thing I’ve found for structure is renting a desk in a coworking space
Cheapest are taking a walk at the same time and putting on “work” clothing
I've spent the last two years volunteering a local bike co-op and getting way to into bike building and cycling generally. Additionally, I spend a lot of time doing what I can to help my local trans community (that I am a part of). This work has gifted me with perspectives I would never have seen otherwise, and has really helped my organizational and soft skills.
Tech wise, I only do hobby projects now, and it's really wonderful in some ways. Having the professional experience I do, but the free time to work on projects that I want has helped me learn so much and really push my understanding of all sorts of technology.
When the job market eventually gets better, I will be able to approach it with a confidence that I didn't feel was earned before. That's really my cope lol
---
Fwiw
https://elanora.lol/resume resume@elanora.lol
What complicates things for me is being legally blind. I have enough vision to use a computer, but not much else and so I don't have the breadth of career options available to me that most people do. I need a way back in.
I keep reading, and I keep playing with code like I always have. I'm comfortable with C#, JavaScript and their respective ecosystems. It's like riding a bike. But convincing other people of that, recruiters especially, is proving to be a problem.
As for how I'm coping, I'm very up and down. It's hard not to feel that my career might be over. So when interviews have come up, I'm extremely nervous despite never having that problem in the past where I'd usually interview well.
Somehow, at least for now, I've kept going. Thanks for starting the thread.
If you need any software job you might even have luck with graduate schemes at companies like BT who I believe will have similar shortcuts through recruitment for those with disabilities.
I am not stopping until I am a successful entrepreneur. I refuse to go back to a full-time software job. I have had to do some long stints freelancing or agency work to make ends meet. Gotta do what you gotta do.
But I'm not going back or stopping until I make it.
I'm not coping terribly well. I think what is most distressing is that I am observing a decline in my capacity. I feel mentally sluggish. I frustrate more easily. I tire more easily. Probably most worryingly to me I get spikes of aggression that lead to combative outbursts. I feel less empathetic, even mildly sadistic at times. Very hard to control the envy and the average person I interact with evokes envy.
Everyone in my life tells me I need to get working again (yes thank you it's obvious). Not even for the money, but just to have a purpose and structure and a social life. A common sentiment. But I've come to understand that it is backwards. Employment is secondary, and it follows from having a social network and being embedded in a social context.
Poverty alters your brain in strange ways. For an example I've been thinking about lately, the world is getting very small. I was late for an important appointment. It simply did not occur to me to take a taxi. I just don't do that anymore. It's sort of categorically ruled out as "expensive luxury". Such a difference from a few years ago! Would have ordered the taxi without even thinking.
On the plus side I quit smoking and lost a bunch of weight and I'm physically in the best shape I've ever been.