This is directly related to the control issue. Compliance means control is easy. But this will not prevent them from blame dumping and un-ethical acts.
You do realize that all of these are false dichotomies.
Leaders share the right amount of context so their people understand the overarching strategy and goals. They don't overshare.
Leaders help move their people away from rule-breaking in the first place.
Leaders prioritize the health of the team. While this should include giving timely correction and assistance to help people to the right track, and finding ways to lean in to individual strengths, it also absolutely includes removing people with poisonous attitudes, disruptive behavior, or someone dragging the team down with poor performance.
Leaders reward justified, rational dissent. Compliance is an expected norm until someone can demonstrate either an exception or the need for a new norm. Compliance is more often related to things that can sink the entire company, so no, it doesn't just mean "control." Compliance is not the same as conformity.
There is an art to dissent, and this article doesn't touch on it. If dissent is just a wall of "no, we can't do this", it will not be met well. If dissent is framed as a takedown of a person or their work, it will not be met well. Dissent needs to be delivered in a diplomatic way that makes clear everyone is pulling in the same direction, and there is a better way to pull.
Some folks (eg younger me) are not interested in learning this art, and just want to say things and have everyone immediately see their genius. When I think about the times folks have done that to me, I didn't take it well.
Detach from reacting to them, invert the situation and give them what they’re looking for but not asking for.
Generalizing heavily, but I have turned relationships around to somewhat functional levels like this with weak leaders who leaned entirely into playing their supposed manager role.
Example: micromanager. Nagging you for updates. Inverted: insecure and craving information. I’ll flood you with information. Maybe you’ll back off and trust me if you’re not pathologically like this.
Information hoarding. Inverted: politically vulnerable, unsure of who to trust (maybe? If not a psychopath). Share information - not gossip - give them the credit, make them feel like they have allies and backup. See if you can’t go through something together and build trust.
Avoiding hard convos (coward). Inversion: insecure about people skills, probably bad history of making things worse. Start the hard convos for them by setting them up and handing them off. Take the risk and make the icebreaker moves, scheduling or calling or introducing. Play a support role if it’s them vs externals, detach and be supportive and nonreactive or limit it to positive reinforcement only and active listening if 1 on 1.
Typically I see immediate improvement with these if behavior stems from insecurity, but psychopaths and narcissists can and will take advantage.
I think nonreactivity and some pity for the cowardly go a long way to stabilizing things if they’re trying but failing. Cut them off and leave if it’s hopeless.
To clarify my comment: the challenge is how to make room to follow this advice as a manager, when your own manager doesn’t share these values. In particular, when visibly bending rules, or spending any time coaching “nonperforming” subordinates, or “showing weakness” by tolerating dissent, is going to look like “bad management” to your manager.
After all, if most managers valued the things in this post, we wouldn’t need the post.
It’s kind of a dumb premise. Anyone can get the leadership or the management treatment as described here - if just depends if the leader/manager likes what you’re doing.
I have stuck my neck out of underperforming employees and was quickly disincentivized.
It's very easy for Simon Sinek to write and speak about leadership when he has never actually done it. Divorced from the messiness of reality, you can write a lot of nice-sounding platitudes.
Goofus yells and gets upset when things slip. He demands that someone fall on their sword.
Gallant gets curious about what systems were in place to prevent this and why they weren't sufficient. He understands that nobody is perfect and that we succeed by cooperating.
The thing articles and project management philosophies both miss is this: What is the fundamental math constraint that shapes a project? I personally believe it is NP growth and when you really understand it you see why things fail and what algorithms can help you succeed. You have a problem and resources to solve that problem. By trying all combinations of the resources you can decide what is the optimal solution. But it is NP growth so you can't actually search that space because the heat death of the universe is often waiting for you. The only time you should search the whole space is if the number of parameters is small enough that you can fit it all in one head and solve it. If it is too big for that then the only thing you can, and should, do is divide and conquer and keep doing that until you hit a leaf node small enough to put the problem completely in your head. People intuitively get this, but then they screw it up in predictable ways. After dividing they then accidentally recombine parts by sharing too much communication between parts. NP strikes again because there are too many parts to find an optimal solution now. Or, after they divide and find a local optimum, they 20/20 it and say 'had we combined we could have found a better solution' so they combine teams and fail the next project. Technically the combined team could have done it better, but NP time would have stopped you and you wouldn't have found that solution that the smaller, isolated, teams found. They think 'lets put things into a backlog and figure out what to attack one at a time' except it is an NP problem to order that backlog (and by the time you knock a few things off the top the things at the bottom are unrecognizable anyway) so NP strikes again. They divide and micro-manage from above which means they never actually divided and there are, again, too many pieces to search so NP strikes again. The solution is always this: 'Is this too much to fit in one head? Yes - divide / No - exhaustively search and implement. This gets to a core point here. The pyramid that divide and conquer creates must include communication restrictions between teams and resources carve-outs between teams or else you have failed to divide. However, -inside- a team you need to communicate and share resources in whatever is the most efficient way based on the problem you have carved out. So, it is possible to communicate too much, when you cross divisions. It is the right answer to hoard information in some cases, if the communication was designed to be limited to enforce a division.
Hey ChatGPT, write me a blog post in a listicle format based on my video:
> Same crisis. Same pressure. Completely different responses.
> Managers love the ‘hire slow, fire fast’ mantra,” Simon says. “But leaders know that letting someone go isn’t about making an example—it’s about dignity
> A manager might say, “You’re not meeting expectations. Today’s your last day.” A leader takes a different approach:
> Managers love yes-men and yes-women—people who nod along and follow orders without question. Leaders actively seek out the people who will challenge them.
One of my worst managers, funnily enough, was just another autistic programmer, who to this day literally has no idea how badly he affected me. It actually makes me laugh, sometimes I see him on the street, and he has literally no idea, just a slight face of disdain when he sees me, almost as if I am some vague recollection of a memory of a poor performer who couldn't VIM fast enough.
I worked almost 12 hour days for him and I never complained about this behaviour, even after I quit. I gave him the full extent of my work and loyalty and he somehow never even understood that. To this day I am sure he has no idea of how much I put myself out for him.
Almost as if he thinks that work life and personal life are two completely separate non linked spheres of reality. His ignorance to this day is almost a point of sheer bafoonery and hilarity which brings me a bit of joy now when I remember him / see him.
EDIT > I wasn't going to read the article but when I saw comments of managers offended by some random article, I knew it would be good.
The writing is aspirational, yes, but why are so many quick to nitpick? It looks like you're reaching for reasons not listen. If you choose to not stick your neck out, so be it, but don't knock those who do. You'll only enable the thing you're afraid of.
The utility of Utopian writing is not to serve as a set of instructions to achieve Utopia. It is to inspire those to push for it. A Utopia is unobtainable, but it serves as a direction to pursue. The world changes, and so too must our actions, but the direction appears to hold constant for millennia. We're the only ones who can create a utopia, but we're also the ones who prevent us from reaching it. The choice is about which side you want to be on. Do you want to work towards that utopia? Will you sit silent watching others build? Will you justify your inaction? Or will you enable those who only want that future for themselves?
I really do want you all to ask yourselves: why are you so quick to dismiss those who want to inspire you to do great things?
Of course, everyone in the room has already read the same leadership tips, likely earning you plenty of eye rolls and detracting from the straightforward, honest cooperation and on-task communication that are the backbone of all successful teams and companies.
I get a really bad vibe from this guy. I first came across him from a viral video where he was making claims about millennials in the workplace. In my opinion they were a mixture of obvious and wrong. And it was framed like he was some expert. But it later became obvious that it was basically an ad for a book he had out, and really he has no expertise or real world experience whatsoever. He's a grifter imo.
Here's something not directly related that doesn't get mentioned enough, if at all:
Lack of empathy for managers from their teams and the organization.
Good managers are often caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to balance competing interests and navigate difficult situations, since they also have managers and business priorities. Depending on the team size, this pressure is almost on a logarithmic scale. I have seen people choose the IC path because they consider a manager's job too stressful, and they can be paid the same (or sometimes even more than their managers).
I agree with the general sentiment here in the comments section — the article sounds good at first glance, but it's missing the nuances that get in the way of a manager acting like a leader.
I bought into the “leader vs. manager” Kool-Aid for years—until I actually had to manage. Spoiler: the dichotomy is a myth. Once you’re in the seat, it’s all gray area. You’re not just “inspiring people,” you’re stuck between upper leadership and your team, juggling chaos while trying to keep the ship afloat.
Any manager who’s been in the trenches knows the real game is shielding your team while still getting things done. Be as much of a “leader” as you want, but without authority and accountability, you’re just cosplaying. The rah-rah leadership Kool-Aid is mostly there to keep people inspired while the actual decisions happen in rooms you’ll never be invited to.
This is very wrong. The distinction is pretty simple: leaders choose what the goals are, managers direct subordinates to achieve the goals. Both are needed and people can both at the same time.
31 comments
[ 2.9 ms ] story [ 58.9 ms ] threadAnd, bad managers play politics with information privy to them.
> 2. Managers Weaponize Policy. Leaders Bend Rules for People.
This is absolutely true. There is a saying that comes to my mind, said by a good manager, "Break the rules and justify it, I am here to ratify it"
> 3. Managers “Fire Fast.” Leaders Coach, Then Help People Land Softly.
Also true, bad managers consider people as "resources" to be used and disposed off.
> 5. Managers Reward Compliance. Leaders Reward Dissent.
This is directly related to the control issue. Compliance means control is easy. But this will not prevent them from blame dumping and un-ethical acts.
Leaders share the right amount of context so their people understand the overarching strategy and goals. They don't overshare.
Leaders help move their people away from rule-breaking in the first place.
Leaders prioritize the health of the team. While this should include giving timely correction and assistance to help people to the right track, and finding ways to lean in to individual strengths, it also absolutely includes removing people with poisonous attitudes, disruptive behavior, or someone dragging the team down with poor performance.
Leaders reward justified, rational dissent. Compliance is an expected norm until someone can demonstrate either an exception or the need for a new norm. Compliance is more often related to things that can sink the entire company, so no, it doesn't just mean "control." Compliance is not the same as conformity.
A manager who doesn’t lead will end up the issues raised in the article.
A leader who can’t manage will face administrative chaos.
Dissent is rarely rewarded by leadership to the point I can't think of a single example of it happening
Some folks (eg younger me) are not interested in learning this art, and just want to say things and have everyone immediately see their genius. When I think about the times folks have done that to me, I didn't take it well.
Generalizing heavily, but I have turned relationships around to somewhat functional levels like this with weak leaders who leaned entirely into playing their supposed manager role.
Example: micromanager. Nagging you for updates. Inverted: insecure and craving information. I’ll flood you with information. Maybe you’ll back off and trust me if you’re not pathologically like this.
Information hoarding. Inverted: politically vulnerable, unsure of who to trust (maybe? If not a psychopath). Share information - not gossip - give them the credit, make them feel like they have allies and backup. See if you can’t go through something together and build trust.
Avoiding hard convos (coward). Inversion: insecure about people skills, probably bad history of making things worse. Start the hard convos for them by setting them up and handing them off. Take the risk and make the icebreaker moves, scheduling or calling or introducing. Play a support role if it’s them vs externals, detach and be supportive and nonreactive or limit it to positive reinforcement only and active listening if 1 on 1.
Typically I see immediate improvement with these if behavior stems from insecurity, but psychopaths and narcissists can and will take advantage.
I think nonreactivity and some pity for the cowardly go a long way to stabilizing things if they’re trying but failing. Cut them off and leave if it’s hopeless.
After all, if most managers valued the things in this post, we wouldn’t need the post.
I have stuck my neck out of underperforming employees and was quickly disincentivized.
Gallant gets curious about what systems were in place to prevent this and why they weren't sufficient. He understands that nobody is perfect and that we succeed by cooperating.
> Same crisis. Same pressure. Completely different responses.
> Managers love the ‘hire slow, fire fast’ mantra,” Simon says. “But leaders know that letting someone go isn’t about making an example—it’s about dignity
> A manager might say, “You’re not meeting expectations. Today’s your last day.” A leader takes a different approach:
> Managers love yes-men and yes-women—people who nod along and follow orders without question. Leaders actively seek out the people who will challenge them.
I worked almost 12 hour days for him and I never complained about this behaviour, even after I quit. I gave him the full extent of my work and loyalty and he somehow never even understood that. To this day I am sure he has no idea of how much I put myself out for him.
Almost as if he thinks that work life and personal life are two completely separate non linked spheres of reality. His ignorance to this day is almost a point of sheer bafoonery and hilarity which brings me a bit of joy now when I remember him / see him.
EDIT > I wasn't going to read the article but when I saw comments of managers offended by some random article, I knew it would be good.
The writing is aspirational, yes, but why are so many quick to nitpick? It looks like you're reaching for reasons not listen. If you choose to not stick your neck out, so be it, but don't knock those who do. You'll only enable the thing you're afraid of.
The utility of Utopian writing is not to serve as a set of instructions to achieve Utopia. It is to inspire those to push for it. A Utopia is unobtainable, but it serves as a direction to pursue. The world changes, and so too must our actions, but the direction appears to hold constant for millennia. We're the only ones who can create a utopia, but we're also the ones who prevent us from reaching it. The choice is about which side you want to be on. Do you want to work towards that utopia? Will you sit silent watching others build? Will you justify your inaction? Or will you enable those who only want that future for themselves?
I really do want you all to ask yourselves: why are you so quick to dismiss those who want to inspire you to do great things?
Lack of empathy for managers from their teams and the organization.
Good managers are often caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to balance competing interests and navigate difficult situations, since they also have managers and business priorities. Depending on the team size, this pressure is almost on a logarithmic scale. I have seen people choose the IC path because they consider a manager's job too stressful, and they can be paid the same (or sometimes even more than their managers).
I agree with the general sentiment here in the comments section — the article sounds good at first glance, but it's missing the nuances that get in the way of a manager acting like a leader.
[] Marcus Buckingham, First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently
What’s a good metric to tell which companies have toxic managers?
Any manager who’s been in the trenches knows the real game is shielding your team while still getting things done. Be as much of a “leader” as you want, but without authority and accountability, you’re just cosplaying. The rah-rah leadership Kool-Aid is mostly there to keep people inspired while the actual decisions happen in rooms you’ll never be invited to.