Ask HN: Turned 25, Give Me Your Best Advice for the Next 25 Years?

27 points by skx001 ↗ HN
Hello HN,

I Turned 25! Give me your best life advice!

Don't hold back.

Please share what you have learned over the years in every area of life. Relationships, career, business, health, wealth etc.

I am sure this will be a post to come back to every now and then, so, please include stories, regrets, lessons from your life.

Thank you!

43 comments

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Your body will move to middle age when you're about 31, 32.

There's a lot of things you can only do when you're physically young.

Get them done now, while you can, because it will go away.

Travel. See the world. Meet people where they live. Invest in learning how to be uncomfortable. And never, ever, ever, EVER drop a coin into an elephant’s nostril.
I am in my early 20s too so can't provide the depth you're probably looking for but here is what I know so far:

Move to a country/location/environment where you can actually achieve your goals/dreams ASAP. Location is the number 1 determining factor imo. This is step zero, nothing happens without this.

Build a lean, aesthetic physique (assuming you're a guy). Workout and stay healthy.

Get skills ASAP. Stack as many real tangible skills as you can. Skills will pay your bills and will be the foundation of your career.

Congratulations on your life awareness at age 25! Good luck!

If you have not already done this, in addition to maxing out your 401(k), start a Roth IRA and max it out every single year. I regret not doing this.

Compound interest is everything for most regular people to build net worth. Compound debt is the worst.

As the saying goes, there will be friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime. Friendships will run their natural course. That being said, do your best to maintain friendships you want to try to keep as you get older.

Don't get stuck in the friend zone. Be bold and ask that person out umambigously.

As many dentists say, floss the teeth that you want to keep. I recommend flossing then Water Pik then brushing with a mechanical toothbrush like an Oral-B.

If you don't know, learn how to cook. There are so many resources out there. While not knowing how to cook might be cute or excusable by a potential partner in your 20s, by your 30s or 40s it is no longer funny and definitely a liability.

Don't sit all day. Even standing desks aren't enough. Do some light calisthenics every hour. Push-ups, wall-sits, squats, knee bends.

Make the time to see friends in-person. We are all hardwired to crave IRL social interaction, even the most introverted of us.

You might want to skim Sahil Bloom's book. While it might not the best at being actionable, it might make you think about the next 25 years in better context.

https://www.the5typesofwealth.com/

Don't give other people advice. They probably don't want it. They don't want you to fix their problems. Shut up and listen instead.

Take care of your mental health proactively. Do not let depression run unchecked, or it will end up robbing you of everything you hold dear before you realize it.
Some people in power will tell you they welcome and encourage critical feedback. They won't really, but they're nevertheless better to work for than the opposite.

Every government is bad at it, it's just to varying degrees.

Be willing and able to move country will open opportunities; learn one second language to business level that will enable more opportunities.

The Sam Vimes theory of socioeconomic unfairness is real and important; have a lifestyle such that you build up a savings pile sufficient that you can afford to spend less: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory

My only two advice:

    while (alive)
    {
        If (You are truly passionate about some hobbies or career paths)
        {
            do_not_marry_and_especially_don't_get_kid();
        }
        else
        {
            focus_on_making_as_much_$$$_as_possible();
        }
    }
I think my best single bit of advice is: think it through.

Decide why you're doing things. You'll be able to pull off things you never expected, with a some deep thought and a good plan. Plan your career, your finances. If it's your thing, plan what kind of person you'll meet and share a life with. Plan to maintenance your relationships.

Plan for problems, and disasters, because you will have many. Friends will die, plans will fail, money will be lost. A little planning will help you survive those storms.

Take pictures of yourself and what you're doing. I wish I had more.

Don't discount how hard it can be to make friends in your thirties and beyond.
Set aside a few thousand bucks in an IRA.

You don't pay taxes on that money -- but also, since you're young, you can let it sit there earning interest. It'll double in value roughly every 10 years, so if you start with, say, $8,000, it'll be $128,000 by the time you're 65. (And you can also tap the money for medical emergencies or college expenses.)

Get some property. Something you own as much as possible. Maybe in one of those states eliminating property tax.

Everything else you will lose if the economy turns against you.

Also, a bit ironically don’t trust HN advice so easily. I feel for a lot of advice that was common on this site a decade ago that turned out to be utter bullshit.

Get off this site. It's too late for me, but save yourself.
Stop drinking. If you can consistently stop after one, you can do that, but zero is way easier than one. Bad hangovers are brain damage. Don’t ever do one again.

The most important relationships in your life are the ones where you’re naturally your best self. Prioritize those. My best relationships are the ones where I’m a good friend to them. You might be thinking of it backwards. (I sometimes have made that mistake). A betrayal of a good friend will haunt you forever. Think carefully about how to be true to those most important to you.

Save for down payment and buy a house. That’s the path to generational wealth.

Spend less than you make.

Create a habit of daily exercise. This becomes increasingly important in later years.

Everyone should work for a big successful company at least once (I used to say FAANG, but obviously with the renames that’s not true and also the world has changed. Start by making your list of the most important companies in the world). Learn as much as possible from the smartest people possible (also keep track of what NOT to do and how not to behave). Don’t stay so long it eats your soul.

> Save for down payment and buy a house. That’s the path to generational wealth.

In this economy?

Keep in touch regularly with your friends and acquaintances after you no longer are in the same school or company. When 25, it feels like you will know and remember them forever, and vice-versa.

I'm here to tell you that you won't, unless you make an effort.

(Of course, I remember the guy who was in a group I ate lunch with in grad school who ended up running Google 25 years later; I don't know if he remembers me...)

As a man at 25, start to think seriously about settling down with someone if you want a family. Men and women exist on different timelines. While you may think "Oh I'll wait until 30-35 for that stuff", you'll look around at that point and realize you've missed the boat. Of course plenty of people still get married and have kids at that age. But the vast majority of women are either married, engaged, or in long term relationships heading toward marriage by 30, and you won't realize that until it's too late.
Good marriages are built on aligned goals : what kind of family you want, the balance between spending now and saving for the future, how you spend your time . Focus finding a partner who is aligned on where you want to go : rest will follow.
Don't save for retirement, you might not live that long.
Make a habit of spotting things in your life that you can say you are grateful for. A lot of good things in life are taken for granted and you only realize you had them when you lose them. It takes some practice and effort to start noticing these, but when you do, it enhances your enjoyment of the present moment.
My grandfather said:

Stay away from (1) alcohol, (2) gambling, and (3) loose women.

Extrapolate (1) to all harmful substances (including "mild" recreational drugs like marijuana); (2) to anything with a negative expected value (this could summarize the entire list, but includes lottery, sports betting, speculation on crypto, etc.); and (3) to anyone who hasn't established trust or who has a motive to take advantage of others for a quick personal benefit.

Read Taleb re: ancient, "grandmotherly/grandfatherly" wisdom; and heuristics / rules of thumb.

Read Munger re: invert (think through things backward) and avoiding probable misfortune instead of trying to be "happy". (See my granddad's list above.)

If you're male, the truth is that men in the United States still don't have anything close to equal rights when it comes to marriage, family, and especially children and pregnancy/reproduction. Therefore, I would add: always distrust any casual sexual partners (see Rule 3) and get a very good prenuptial agreement (although avoiding marriage altogether may be the optimal strategy for men nowadays).

Lastly, find and develop tight and trusting professional relationships with a competent attorney, a competent accountant, and a competent financial adviser. Use them frequently and take their advice seriously. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Godspeed.

Go to the gym every day.

Read books.

Brush your teeth.

Become a better person.

Listen To the Baz Luhmann song "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)". A lot of it is pretty good advice. I regret not having invested in index funds at that age. I'm very happy I backpacked the earth for 1.5 years as soon as I could afford it. When looking for a job: do the things you enjoy most, aim high and go for it. Do not try to find your calling: try different things and your calling will find you.
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Take care of your body. It's easy at 25, but it will get harder, and now is the right time to build the foundation for a long and healthy life. Exercise. Eat well. Get enough sleep. And if you find yourself in a situation where those aren't possible, find another situation.

Learn what makes you happy. Deep collaboration with others, feeling that I'm helping to make a better world, and spending time outdoors are some things that do it for me. Don't prioritize money over happiness.

Value people. Make their lives better. Work to create and maintain relationships with people who matter to you, both in and outside of your working life.