In the Bay Area job market at 40+ you are 4/5 done with your working career at a high level of pay as a IC. It’s cruel, but post 40 and especially post 50 you are at risk of being let go and never find a similar paying job again. Especially in this job market.
Only way to prevent this is to be a director or unusually gifted as an engineer. Otherwise you are the old guy that wants too much money. I hate that the industry is like this but unless you are very high in your field your value to tech employers reaches zero unless your career has developed to a high level.
I hate to admit this but balding has been a really really stressful thing for me getting into 40.
I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now much it bothers me, consumes considerably too much thought, it's brutal!!
Regardless of agreeing with the advice, a 41yo giving advice on surviving the 40s seems a bit arrogant. Being 41 is different from 46 which is different from 49, and he just doesn't know yet. The right title should be "how I feel after a year in my 40s".
I seem to have become scarier in my old age. People seem to pay more attention and react more strongly to me than they used to, but all I did was get older and uglier. Whatever physicality I had has waned, but moral presence among strangers has waxed. Maybe it's a remaining respect for elders rather than something to do with me. But it has made me more careful with hiding my grumpiness.
I find I have turned invisible. But if I die my hair suddenly I'm no longer invisible. Even with just a really bad partially grown out dye job I'm treated like I exist again. But grey hair/grey beard? Invisibility cloak.
Genuine question, is a smile something people practice? I smile when im happy but it does not come naturally. Also the ad at the end killed any feeling of authenticity.
21 comments
[ 3.1 ms ] story [ 47.0 ms ] threadAt 40 you're barely at the halfway point of your career since we're gonna have to work till our 70's anyway, so buckle up for another 30+ years.
Only way to prevent this is to be a director or unusually gifted as an engineer. Otherwise you are the old guy that wants too much money. I hate that the industry is like this but unless you are very high in your field your value to tech employers reaches zero unless your career has developed to a high level.
I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now much it bothers me, consumes considerably too much thought, it's brutal!!
Definitely a rough thing to struggle with.
Banger
How to Age Gracefully | CBC Radio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sycgL3Qg_Ak
[Spoiler]
"Dear 91-year old, don't listen to other people's advice.
Nobody knows what the hell they're doing.
Signed, a 93-year old."
[Edit]
This was originally passed down to me through RSS from:
https://kottke.org/15/08/how-to-age-gracefully