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It doesn't seem unreasonable to want the simple stuff to work simply. When did everything we think we know become "metaphors" that can only be understood by solvers of cryptic crossword puzzles? Switches go up/down, and the expected thing happens? Dishwashers just go on when you push the button? Why screw with the simple stuff?
We just got a new washer and dryer. They aren't even "smart", and they still have knobs, but they are obviously digital instead of mechanical under the hood, and they're fucking terrible. Everything takes a beat longer then it should to register/update, it all feels like shit to interact with, and bizarrely you can't leave anything paused. Need to pause the wash for 20 minutes so you can take a shower? Fuck you! You're gonna have to start the entire cycle over again
Soon it'll all be AI, so that'll fix it.
Visiting my dad in a hospital now - I can also confirm that low quality software made many things worse

In particular communication between doctors and nurses is worse, because it’s all mediated by software

In year 2000 I dreamed and wrote an essay imagining future 15-20 years ahead, that I'd be happy to have a voice-controlled teapot. That I'd tell it "a cup of tea", and it would boil it, exactly for my own big cup. Or several cups, if I have guests.

By 2020 I figured out that digital stuff is worse in UX and recalled that story with a sigh.

The change in my head happened, I think, in 2013, when I tried to count pedestrians on streets, and found out that the digital way (OpenCV coding, training, etc.) it would take way more time, than just plain going outdoors and counting. I also noticed that simple watch on my arm was much better than a timer with alarm in a phone -- an order of magnitude less hassle.

So by 2020 I checked every appliance, that it has no Internet, nor IoT in it. Needless to say about vacuum cleaner (even the robotic one), washer, etc. Want a light that has variable brightness for evening, going to bed, or cloudy day? Put a 2-switch lamp on the ceiling, and a small one near the bed. Want to turn it on in different places? Passing switches -- they just need some planning ahead and wires.

> It actually feels primitive, like we haven’t figured out how to make things easy yet.

We have though. For example for lights, zwave implants near switches work great. If the whole system goes down, they still work as normal switches. No "switch you can't turn off" effect either. It's just not the default way people go - especially if they're renting. It's much cheaper to buy a crappy wifi lightbulb if you want one. And then you want more...

What's also sad about this is all the e-waste; everything is massively over engineered, loads of unnecessary radio chips, having to build it all to handle pairing, wifi logins, firmware upgrades etc.
My parents’ home is like this. Control4, etc. They’re left constantly consulting the low-voltage techs who set it up just to do simple things, and are endlessly frustrated by their expensive system. Meanwhile, I’m the one who actually works in tech, and yet my own home AV setup is just an Apple TV connected as the only input into my TV, and that’s the extent of it (because I know better).

It’s strange though, for my dad, the complexity is a kind of status symbol: “Look how hard it is to use! Marvel at all these buttons and switches! It must be very complicated and sophisticated! Real proof that I’ve made it in life!” I’m not kidding.