HN Explorer

Ask HN: Lost my passion for development, anyone else been through this?

11 points by passionlessdev ↗ HN
After 7 years of working as a professional software developer I have realized this is not my passion anymore, and have started to doubt if it was a passion for me to begin with. I feel I'm not smart enough to keep up, I feel I will never be anything close to a "hacker", I am stuck being an average programmer. I have tried building things but it all seems like work to me, no matter how interesting the project might be or the technologies I choose. I have tried taking courses via coursera, learning new languages and technologies, even going back to the fundamentals learning algorithms, compilers and so on but again I lose interest, it all seems like work, makes me feel too dumb or stupid, not fun, and work has become something I dread and its making me miserable, I can only wait for the weekend to come and get drunk.

I live by myself, recently moved to a new country where I don't know anyone, but I have a mortgage and development is the only thing I "know" how to do and the reason I moved countries. I am still trying to find my passion, music has always been something I love, I am teaching myself electronic music production and guitar but at 30 I don't see myself making a career out of music or anything else for that matter.

Has anyone else been through a similar situation? is it possible to reignite my passion for software development? is it possible to switch careers at this stage in life? if not then how can I make the best of this situation?

Thanks HN.

8 comments

[ 5.6 ms ] story [ 30.7 ms ] thread
michaelpinto
Yes as a fortysomething who has been hanging with techies since my youth i can tell you that yes people can grow out of love with writing code. If said person doesn't have another immediate road they often become managers of people who write code, or go into a related field like information architecture. Also frankly once you become a thirtysomething you often tend to get settled down with a spouse and perhaps even kids -- so the joy of spend an all-nighter no longer becomes a joy.

Although I suspect that your problem is that you didn't like to code in the first place (which you sort of said). I think the thing to do is to find something related and realistic that you have enough passion to keep you going. So can you be a rock star at age 30+? Maybe, but it's a long shot. But I bet that there is something that is viable that does get you excited. And I suspect that you're smart if you had the ability to go another country and earn a living (maybe your passion has something to do with that?). But whatever you do, don't try to fake a passion.

Art_Yu
Following passion is a good thing. But it's simple to say, not as somple to do - you still have to make your living. Kinda "catch 22"... I felt same way when I graduated college and found myself thinking about it more and more. Once it got all over me - I knew I had to make my choice. It's hard - but if you're seriously thinking about turning your life to another path, which I guess you are, take a break for a few days and think deep. But if you make the approach to change your lifestyle, get ready to work twice as much to succeed for real.
staunch
You can make a career in music, though it may not be making music itself. Leverage your current skill (programming) to get yourself into a music-related job. Start making band web sites, or social media crap, online merchandise sites, or whatever it is that these people need. Meet people in the industry and figure out what might be fun for you to do. Maybe it will involve making music, or maybe something you find even more enjoyable.

Programming can open doors into just about anything these days.

shortlived
staunch has the right idea. I'd add: use your well paid job to bankroll money to help you towards your goal of a new career.
damian2000
A few years ago I went through a patch of about 2 years when I gave up my s/w development job and founded a small online business selling electronics. It paid the mortgage, but not much else. It was exciting, but at the same time it also increased my respect for having a stable job with guaranteed income every week.

Have you thought about combining some form of software development with your love of music? Not sure what exactly ... maybe an educational app to learn how to read music scales or something.

saluki
Keep a positive attitude.

It's tough feeling average when everyone wants to be a rock star but most people are closer to being average.

As far as your day job "that's why they call it work" it's not always going to be fun and exciting. You'll go through periods of time where you lose and regain your passion.

The guy working heavy construction in the construction zone on your way to work probably isn't 100% happy with his career either.

If you've been doing this for 7 years you are smart and you can keep up. Consider changing to a new company or new project. Sometimes managers have a way of making you feel not smart enough or able to keep up.

A career change is possible, typically you'll have to take a lower salary.

Music is an awesome hobby that you can do on the side. So keep learning musical skills and making music. I had a band in college so I had the dream of being a rock super star that has been replaced with being a tech super star (SaaS apps, big house, five cars).

So keep a positive attitude at work, maybe seek out a new project or maybe a new company for a change of scenery.

A nice distraction from your day job would be focusing on your music in the evenings and on weekends . . . if you have an interest in starting your own business look at starting a music related website or SaaS app or a SaaS app to replace your day job income. StartUpsForTheRestOfUs.com has a good podcast to learn more about that option.

The economy is tough out there so appreciate having a stable job as a developer.

Good luck.

markenstein
I'm not a psychologist, but I notice some things that I look at differently.

You mention "being an average programmer" and learning new things feeling like work because they make you feel "too dumb or stupid."

So what is fun? Something you are good at? What are your expectations?

You also mention "trying to find my passion" Cal Newport wrote some articles of how "following your passion" is dangerous advice because it doesn't work like that.

Perhaps you are depressed and you just need to find some meaning behind what you are doing? Have you read Man's Search for Meaning?

Because being good or bad at programming doesn't have to affect the enjoyment you get out of it. I know some grumpy rock-star programmers who seem to unconsciously be chasing this concept of being accepted or loved when they finally reach whatever level of perfection they have invented for themselves. Imagine how frustrating it must be for them, every flaw is preventing them from receiving what they desire.

I worry that your line of thinking is: I'm not happy. -> OK maybe it is because "I'm not a good programmer." -> OK, let's try becoming better -> Progress with natural setbacks -> (Frustration because you aren't becoming happier) -> Maybe it is because I'm not a good programmer -> OK, maybe I need to do something else.

Also, moving to a new country is hard for everyone, it sneaks up on you.

devs1010
Consider going into project management, this seems to be what some people do when they don't want to be a developer anymore. I have worked with PM's who used to be developers and had basically completely stopped coding and went solely into management. One guy, at my last job, I don't think had even close to 10 years experience as a developer before he went into management. If you go this route, please don't become the type who attempts to trivialize the work of the people who do do the coding, the aformentioned PM had this attitude and it was rather obnoxious given that his skills had deteriorated (or were never there in the first place) as far as actually being a developer.