Ask HN: Unemployed almost a year after graduating MIT – a rant
Not sure where else to turn to but I'm extremely embarrassed to say we're nearing the 1 year anniversary of my Feb graduation (*course 6*) and I'm still unemployed, to the dismay of me and my family. I've applied to hundreds of jobs, tailored my resume with tech folks who regularly hire, tailored cover letters, gotten referrals, spoken to relevant connections in my network, done really well in interviews, all to no avail. The feedback I've received from asking employers who rejected me is never something wrong about me, just that they found someone else with pre-existing experience in that particular industry or tech stack. How am I supposed to compete with that at an entry level? And the longer I go without work, the worse it gets in the eyes of employers. I have two internships from back in undergrad as my "work experience" but that's it, one at a known company and one at a startup. My personal projects were not super intensive unfortunately, but I'm not sure how much that's affecting me at this point. Given the way things are going in the world, I remove certain tech sectors from consideration, but I really don't think that should be a handicap.
I knew the job market was bad going into it, but recently, I've genuinely fallen into depression. It feels like I was sold this lie that the MIT name would open doors previously inaccessible to me, but nothing seems to be helping me land a job. Sucks more when I run into old friends who can't even hide their shock that I'm still unemployed. So I have to pretend this is just a gap year and all part of the plan. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I might never work in industry as a *software engineer or in tech*, and that sucks! Maybe it's already time for a career change, I don't know to what. I never felt too good about myself at MIT compared to others and so this all feels like proof that I'm not skilled enough to work in my chosen field.
I can't even do my hobbies with all this free time because I spend a lot of it applying to jobs, doomscrolling, and sulking. I am really grateful that I was able to move back home with my parents. I think they were happy to have me back for a bit. But now I'm starting to feel like a drag and burden, especially as the *middle child sister* who’s just… there. I feel like a firework that exploded in bursts of color (everyone ooed and ah-ed), and then... nothing. I'm considering starting some volunteer/side projects, but persistently, in the back of my mind, is this voice telling me I'm worthless because I can't make any money. I am a failure.
52 comments
[ 3.9 ms ] story [ 67.7 ms ] threadLook into a trade. Technically-inclined like electricity, industrial automation, and so on.
EDIT: Building a startup gets you experience, connections and the grit that comes with actually building something. Being employee #440,670 does not; the end game is promotion or getting laid off. Just telling you how it is.
Unless you want to be in research (which the school does matter) instead of applying for jobs, just build a startup instead which gets you the experience you are looking for.
My suggestion is to look at networking events and see if you can get involved in startups. You will be talking to people on the team and it's a good way to make connections.
I'd also look into the Education sector (i.e. colleges, universities, school districts) It's how I managed to get my start in tech. https://www.higheredjobs.com
And don't feel bad about it taking a while to find a job. I graduated a few years ago and it took me 6 months to get something lined up. The market is weird right now.
When external structure disappears, you must replace it with internal structure. Keep a fixed daily routine. Get up at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time every night, regardless of mood or circumstances. Plan for eight hours of sleep. Treat this as non-negotiable.
Take care of your body. Exercise regularly, even if it feels pointless at first. Eat properly. These are not self-help platitudes; they are basic maintenance requirements for keeping your mind functional under prolonged stress.
Be very strict with digital consumption. Doomscrolling and sulking are forms of digital procrastination and they actively worsen the situation. Before switching on the TV, unlocking your smartphone, or engaging with any social media, do 20 push-ups. Every time. If you cannot do push-ups, replace them with squats or another short physical exercise. The goal is to insert friction and break the automatic habit loop.
Do not lie to your friends about your situation. That usually makes things worse over time, not better. People talk, and they already know more than you think anyway.
If you cannot find a job in tech right now, apply to other jobs you can realistically get. Any job. Then become very good at it. Be dependable, knowledgeable, and reliable.
At the same time, actively look for better opportunities. Treat this as an ongoing process, not something that passively happens to you. Apply, network, learn, and reposition yourself continuously. Your loyalty is first to yourself, second to your family, and then to the people you care about, never to an employer. When you find a better opportunity, take it. Change jobs if needed. Repeat.
This is not a judgment on your abilities. It is a rational response to current conditions.
I personally got started as the IT guy at a newspaper. Went from managing the network to digitizing their ad tracking (they literally used a clipboard) to going head-to-head with Craigslist.
Being the only person in the room who can “do computer” is an easy way to make yourself indispensable fast.
(It feels like tech is one of the few industries where graduates just slot into a job in their chosen vertical. Everyone who studies literature, art, fashion, etc. takes it for granted that they will have to work in some other industry for _years_ before they can pivot into the field they’re actually trained for.)
honestly a shame companies are bag holding tens of millions of dollars in the bank and not taking a bet on young, hungry talent.
this will definitely backfire.
a good time to be an entrepreneur though
1) To echo some of the other comments here, getting a regular routine will help you get into better habits. Good sleep, regular exercise, and limited social media etc will help with your mood.
2) The setbacks are situational, not dispositional. It really is a shit job market and you likely don't know how to properly signal yet (ie. sell yourself to others). And to make things even worse, brute force ATS grinding is now even less effective since everyone can now game the systems and generate a plausibly good-looking coherent resume using AI.
3) IMO, one mistake I see often is that students think jobs are the only way to gain experience. This is not true. You really have to be constantly learning new things on your own. Your university education is not enough. This means working on projects specifically for learning purposes. I'd suggest you alternate between learning-mode and applying-mode, where you spend 2-3 months just working on shipping a complete project, then focusing on applying to jobs for another 2-3 months, get feedback and rinse and repeat. You can use the learn-mode time to adapt to feedback. I think this will yield better results than applying over and over again hoping for different results.
Anyways, feel free to reach out. As others have said, you're beating yourself up too much. You'll figure it out and find a way through these setbacks. The important thing atm is not to spiral into a vicious cycle. I applaud you even airing this on HN, as it's much much better than sulking alone.
Looking back, what would I have done differently ?
(0) mental health is the most important at this stage. Stay close to people who are with you in this difficult time. Never forget their contributions. For me it was my grandma.
(1) have unshakable belief in myself and my worth, never letting my employability be a measure of my worth and identity. Deep down you would question yourself and think its a lie. It isn't.
(2) I should have absolutely used that extra time to master the interview stuff (algorithms, data structures, OS and networking concepts, etc). Sooner or later I would interview at a FAANG which measure solely on these factors, so could have used that extra time to master interview skills. I wasted time on side projects, resume padding and niche upcoming tech stuff.
(3) tech surfing. Ride the latest wave with some side projects. Don't go deep. Just surf.
(4) All things, good and bad, will end. "This too shall pass"
On #2, with the dotcom bust and further complications post-9/11, I spent my year without work in a house without a decent enough phone line for dialup and learning C# with a big fat book and the command line compiler. I wouldn't discount side projects, etc... but yeah, staying up on interview skills is important. I'm a bit old, with a family/life so what hits me in those scenarios is there's less accounting for "experienced" developers a lot of the time.
Here's what you do:
1. Quit doomscrolling. Quit all social media. It's like anti-therapy where it just makes everything worse. Timebox your job-hunting every day, there's diminishing marginal returns on time spent here.
2. Your instincts are good! Volunteering and side projects are great. I did a ton of side projects and freelance work. This means you'll be able to account for your time unemployed and gives you something cool to show in interviews. I had a nice little portfolio to run with.
3. Go outside. Read a book in a park. Clear your head. Shit like "the longer I go without work, the worse it gets in the eyes of employers" isn't useful. You will solve that by having a good story to tell via #2, and everyone knows this is a terrible market.
4. Apply to weird stuff involving technology but not "in tech." IT for schools, web stuff for nonprofits, museums, tiny businesses that can't afford market rate. A lot of these are really fun.
I can tell you from 2008-2011, this era passed. Even my most desperate, lost-seeming friends, some of which had prestigious degrees etc etc, found something to do. Many of them wound up quite well off in the end. The hard part isn't even interviewing, its keeping yourself sane in the meantime.
I'd add that there really wasn't much detail from OP in terms if the types of study/work or social aspects that may be at play. For better or worse, things like "nose ring theory" exists and depending on a given environment may or may not be an issue even if it isn't mentioned.
As to specific technology, as others have suggested, side projects, freelance, personal projects and even volunteer work can help.
I had to deal with community service for a ticket about a decade ago, since I'm not really phyxically able to do a lot of what was available, I spent a fair amount of time just searching/asking different orgs if they needed any software developed... I found one, did the project they needed and it was all good.... Of course with the search, I only had a week to do the project in, on top of my regular job I worked 90+ hours that week (that sucked, a lot).
The point is, it doesn't hurt to ask/volunteer. Even on your own, make something cool if you're able to do so.
But +1 to all of these points. Learning to time-box your job hunting and recognizing the declining marginal utility of each extra minute is a useful job skill in and of itself.
Any time you can redirect away from doomscrolling to productive/fun/values-based activities (hobbies, volunteer work (especially if job-relevant, but even if not) is time well-spent. Importantly, it has to matter to you and be enjoyable. If you're timeboxing 3 hours per day job-hunting, and then the remaining hours of your day are grinding away on personal projects because you hope they'll pay off in the job hunt, you're really spending all day on the job hunt.
ignore all FUD on LLM; the professional products would need developers now and in the future.
don't want to sound patronizing, but if you could use this 'real-world' scenario (as tough as it is) to build robust coping skills, it might benefit you personally.
good luck!
For the uninitiated / younger generations, Circuit City was the Best Buy of the early 2000's. In 2009 they went out of business and laid off ~60,000 employees. It was a rough time to be looking for work; lots of people had been affected by the financial crisis and a lot of people had gaps on their resume of 1 to 3 years. And then all of a sudden, nobody had a gap. And there were a sudden influx of people who had been managers at Circuit City. And you couldn't confirm it, because Circuit City had just closed.
Nowadays the scam is to find any recently closed, large firm and claim you worked there with whatever BS title you want. A LinkedIn profile can actually be your downfall here, so don't have one. The over-employeed community does this, claiming that they had to take it down because of a stalker. But I wouldn't advocate this. If your company finds out then there are probably legal repercussions.
But it doesn't have to be a scam. Form an LLC, spend some time up-leveling skills, and put that on your resume. It explains the gap, and gives you an excuse for why it looks like you weren't doing anything.
not a solution to the problem as you presented it... but a solution none the less: You'll spend your time learning more, developing more skills, more opportunities for internships, networking, growth, etc. and hopefully when your done in a year or two the job market is better and you're entering at a high compensation level.
- Have a plan. Set yourself a time limit for unemployment, after which you can opt to re-train (even part-time, if you need to work immediately). Explore the options and pick the best ones for you.
- build a portfolio, actively work on your interviewing skills, CV, and leetcode ahead of interviews
- schedule time outside and for activity, stop moping and overconsuming social media
Actions determine your identity, not the other way around. If you persevere and adapt, you aren't a failure. If you indulge in self-pity and do nothing, then you are letting that define you.
Anyone who doesn't fail is not being challenged enough. Failure is part of learning and improvement. Notwithstanding that, some factors are out of your hands.