The HN guidelines call for not saying things you wouldn't say to someone's face. Since your comment is one of the meanest things you could say to someone's face, it's inappropriate here.
I love how some people think they're entitled to an outstanding partner simply by virtue of being them. This woman makes no attempt whatsoever at demonstrating her value yet demands the world of potential suitors. I don't care for this attitude.
Well a bit of mild narcissism isn't that bad, usually. Also, she's not demanding a great deal from a partner, it's just that the list is needlessly exclusive, if that makes sense.
I do find it sad that someone can make it to their late thirties and still be this clueless, though.
On one hand, some of the requirements are needlessly exclusive.
On the other, some of them are disturbingly low-bar, and is very suggestive that she's been with people who don't meet them. (Only suggestive; I can think of alternate explanations for why they're on there.)
Someone who writes beautiful code--it makes me cry tears of joy. (Required)
Someone who maintains their own server (Required, Linux preferred)
Someone who will let me help them maintain their own server (Required)
Someone with public repos on Github (Required)
No smokers. (Required)
No one whose personality changes when they drink. (Required)
Someone who does not, under any circumstances, become violent. (Required)
Someone who does not, under any circumstances, become uncontrollably angry. (Required)
I suspect she'll get a few responses, by virtue of the fact that she is a living, breathing, woman on the Internet. The people responding might even meet her qualifications (most of them, by some definition). But, I suspect she'll find that the people she meets this way aren't right for her, despite matching her checklist. Likewise, the people who find her this way are unlikely to be pleased with the result. There's a whole spectrum of compatibility that isn't easily described in lists...yes, you have to have some basic shared values to build a relationship, and maybe it's useful to pre-qualify based on that. But, the "chemistry" is equally important. And, it's just not gonna happen on github. Probably.
That said, I don't think her expectations are all that unreasonable. She's ruled out age and looks as important factors, which opens up a huge variety of people. There's some amazing ugly people out there. Maybe one of them is in the same boat she's in, and will get to know her before deciding if she's worth having a relationship with.
Hmmm, I meet > 30 of these criteria (I don't like natto, at all), and I'm in Tokyo. Sadly (for you), I'm taken.
My advice is to perhaps reconsider your approach to your romantic life. Confusing Github with a dating service is kind of an obvious clue, but perhaps it's not so obvious to the person so confused. Also, this list is too long. Condense it down to, at most, three must-haves, and then judge case-by-case from there.
I don't think HN is the right place for this. Am I right in thinking that the only reason this is receiving attention here is because it is on github? Please correct me if I am wrong.
I see that, but I think this is more of a service misuse than a hack. There aren't really any advantages or 'cool' things about using github for this, bar the novelty.
I understand the mindset that this list is coming from. But in my experience, and my observations of others (had a female friend who had an even more extensive list- spoiler- she was atheist and the primary thing she insisted on, was she never wanted to even meet any christians-- but she ended up marrying one.)
You might find a guy who meets all of these criteria and is a total jerk. And you might end up marrying a guy who is wonderful, who happens to spend 16 hours on a weekend raiding in World of Warcraft.
Part of the process of dating is learning what is, and what is not important.
She's figured out that looks aren't important- that's great. I think she's probably reacting to a lot of things she's seeing in japanese culture- understandable.
But the real requirement -- find someone who makes your life better-- can't be easily quantified.
Exactly. She amusingly lists 34 preferences — of which at least 28 must match — before mentioning Nickelback as a favourite artist. Yet she wishes for “Someone who can play classic or jazz piano.”, only humans of the female variety can come up with shit like that.
Yeah, this is a much better way to put what I said in my comment. The requirements mean shit all when it comes to actually loving someone, because you have no idea who you'll fall for.
Also, she neglects to express any kind of sexual preference. If you're going to make a point-by-point requirements list, surely sexual behaviour should be on there, what with it being an extremely important part of relationships (unless you're asexual, of course, but that's important to note too).
Creating these lists as if humans are a bunch of attributes is something we're all probably guilty of at some point or another but when you apply it to finding a mate you inadvertently are just setting yourself up for a likely endless world of hurt. IMHO its honestly one of the worst things you can do to yourself in dating even though its extremely common. The chances of having an emotional connection with anyone is relatively rare and when you whittle down your pool of applicants you can pretty quickly inadvertently eliminate any real possibility of finding someone who fits the list and fits emotionally with you.
On top of all the attributes and the potential for an emotional connection that this fictional mate must meet - he also has to find and be willing to reply to a github repository personals "ad" - seems like a slim chance but what the hell do I know.
You are wrong here. "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" is by Steven Covey. However, she said her favorite writer of management books is Peter Drucker, who described "Seven Sources of Innovation" http://snakecoffee.wordpress.com/2006/04/30/peter-druckers-s..., praising Japanese companies
I can't even fathom how awful it would be to date with someone that has such stringent "requirements". What happened to falling for someone awesome who you meet and get on like fire with?
Honestly, if she finds someone based on this, good on her, but she sounds extremely boring.
"Favorite Artists: Nickelback"*
Instant red flag.
I mean, this sounds like something I would have done as a desperate 14 year old (and IIRC probably did), so I guess if she's at that level of relationship-development, then she has a long journey (and ideally should have begun it earlier) but hopefully she'll realise how catastrophic this is.
It's not even the idea of putting a "dating request" on a website, but the way in which it's done. If you do go that way, you have to show people who you are not who you expect them to be.
Thinking about it, and I don't mean this in a derogatory way, but I wonder if she's on the autistic spectrum. If you look at the post, "personality" is reduced to a single line which is shorter than the list of "devices" she owns. It could explain the whole nature of the post. Hmm. At the very least, she's an introvert.
42 comments
[ 4.1 ms ] story [ 108 ms ] threadI think she's pretty typical for a 40 year old woman.
I do find it sad that someone can make it to their late thirties and still be this clueless, though.
On the other, some of them are disturbingly low-bar, and is very suggestive that she's been with people who don't meet them. (Only suggestive; I can think of alternate explanations for why they're on there.)
I only see four requirements:
Someone who writes beautiful code--it makes me cry tears of joy. (Required) Someone who maintains their own server (Required, Linux preferred) Someone who will let me help them maintain their own server (Required) Someone with public repos on Github (Required)
The others are all "preferences", yes?
No smokers. (Required) No one whose personality changes when they drink. (Required) Someone who does not, under any circumstances, become violent. (Required) Someone who does not, under any circumstances, become uncontrollably angry. (Required)
Still a pretty low bar, IMO.
> If you've read the above preferences and feel you match at least 28/30 of them (30/34 for software engineers), please contact me.
That said, I don't think her expectations are all that unreasonable. She's ruled out age and looks as important factors, which opens up a huge variety of people. There's some amazing ugly people out there. Maybe one of them is in the same boat she's in, and will get to know her before deciding if she's worth having a relationship with.
My advice is to perhaps reconsider your approach to your romantic life. Confusing Github with a dating service is kind of an obvious clue, but perhaps it's not so obvious to the person so confused. Also, this list is too long. Condense it down to, at most, three must-haves, and then judge case-by-case from there.
You might find a guy who meets all of these criteria and is a total jerk. And you might end up marrying a guy who is wonderful, who happens to spend 16 hours on a weekend raiding in World of Warcraft.
Part of the process of dating is learning what is, and what is not important.
She's figured out that looks aren't important- that's great. I think she's probably reacting to a lot of things she's seeing in japanese culture- understandable.
But the real requirement -- find someone who makes your life better-- can't be easily quantified.
Cut that garbage out.
Also, she neglects to express any kind of sexual preference. If you're going to make a point-by-point requirements list, surely sexual behaviour should be on there, what with it being an extremely important part of relationships (unless you're asexual, of course, but that's important to note too).
On top of all the attributes and the potential for an emotional connection that this fictional mate must meet - he also has to find and be willing to reply to a github repository personals "ad" - seems like a slim chance but what the hell do I know.
I think I'll pass. Good luck to her though.
"Favorite books: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Richards Covey"
Honestly, if she finds someone based on this, good on her, but she sounds extremely boring.
"Favorite Artists: Nickelback"*
Instant red flag.
I mean, this sounds like something I would have done as a desperate 14 year old (and IIRC probably did), so I guess if she's at that level of relationship-development, then she has a long journey (and ideally should have begun it earlier) but hopefully she'll realise how catastrophic this is.
It's not even the idea of putting a "dating request" on a website, but the way in which it's done. If you do go that way, you have to show people who you are not who you expect them to be.
Thinking about it, and I don't mean this in a derogatory way, but I wonder if she's on the autistic spectrum. If you look at the post, "personality" is reduced to a single line which is shorter than the list of "devices" she owns. It could explain the whole nature of the post. Hmm. At the very least, she's an introvert.
More seriously, there is a trend here, where GitHub is not about sharing software only. It has become a blog, a wiki, a social network, etc.
And that's cool.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tor/881177993.html