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Matrix/Element seems the best drop-in replacement for Discord. Can set up chatrooms in Discord "server"-style, or as persistent DMs with others. In the chatrooms, you can make text chat spaces and call spaces. No dedicated voice chat space, you just dont turn on webcam for the call spaces. Pretty sure it uses same voip tech. Selfhostable if you want. Encrypted. Really it is just a barebones but functional Discord. Matrix can be bridged to Discord as well so you can talk between either, should help ease the transition period for anyone jumping ship.
The age verification is pushed (lobbied) by the same companies which collect data: Palantir, Google, Meta, Microsoft, Apple and others.

How do you think EU and UK came to this idea ? Google was pushing it from some time but they needed a "legal framework".

In the future they will not need your phone anymore for border or house searches.

Yes, and? This sounds like a guilt-by-association accusation with no relevance.

Anyway, people are free not to use Discord if they don't like their age verification feature. It is one chat service amongst many, not a monopoly.

Is there an actually good alternative? I guess we're gonna swap to something on top of Matrix but I would really really like something that has the same streaming/voice chat capability and idioms. Probably half the time I'm using discord I'm in voice chat, and probably half the time I'm doing that I'm screen sharing, is there some way I can keep doing that?
Something I don't quite understand about this Discord fiasco.

Every single thing you ever put into discord via text or voice has already and was already being sold to advertisers. If you were ever logged into Google simultaneously while on Discord it's already linked up to the real information they have about you.

I've just seen numerous things I've talked about or typed about with friends promptly appear on my YouTube feeds.

So like.. ?

Advertisers versus law enforcement... they're entirely separate concerns. The former cannot lock you up; the latter can.
Just my take but if a company is using anything other than RTA server headers [1] for age verification then there are shenanigans afoot. This should be assumed. If it's not palantir it will be some other dark pattern and will only spread like a virus. Numerous entities are salivating at all the opportunities "age verification" will give them. With time a persons PII will end up being shared with a myriad of shady entities and leaked to all-the-bad-people leading to the creation of even more artificial business models that should have never existed in the first place. Do not accept this behavior otherwise a fascist 3rd party will eventually be required for all internet access.

Ideal Solution (that has existed for a very long time): Legislate the requirements for most clients used by young children to look for the RTA server header and trigger parental controls if the parent thinks they should be enabled. It's not perfect, nothing is nor ever will be but using the header solution is entirely private, does not store or leak data and puts the decision into the device owners rather than creating perverse incentives to track everyone. It may actually protect most small children whereas today teens quickly find a work-around and then teach smaller children how to work around these centralized gate-keepers. The current solutions are just about tracking people by real identity and incentivizing teens to commit identity crimes thus feeding the prison industrial complex. Parents are already legally responsible for their offspring. If parents are having difficulty with raising their children that is a different problem and would require a different solution after significant critical thinking.

Less Than Ideal solution: Create a maintain multiple deny-lists of domains that are using 3rd party age verification or gathering personal data in any way shape or form. Incorporate the deny-lists into uBlock and related add-ons.

Non starters: Anything that suggests the 3rd party verification is anonymous and includes cryptographic terminology. It may start off anonymous and with time the verification will include a unique code that can be reversed through some obfuscated method. Anything involving a 3rd party whether directly or indirectly must be entirely rejected.

Previous Discussion: [2]

[1] - https://www.rtalabel.org/page.php

[2] - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46152074

Reminder that HN is SV centered and therefore everyone and everything is oriented around tribal group think.

Meta was funded by Thiel, yet most of the people in this thread use their products.

The CCP has technology that dwarfs Palantir, but a ton of people in this thread use TikTok, because they don't recognize fascism unless it's perpetrated by somebody that looks like the Nazis they see in movies.

I grew up around brainwashed religious zealots. I hated it. Everything was this moralistic condemnation and guilt by association game, played by people who had absolutely no sense of perspective and had zero interactions outside of there group think circles. Constantly condemning people they don't know and have never met and don't understand.

I've been on HN for 13 years now. It looks more and more like that every day.

This comment will be down voted without any substantive critique other than "I guess you're a fascist too."

Meanwhile, Discord will not have the slightest tiny drop in user numbers, because nobody outside of this moralistic circle jerk cares.