Review my splash page (thawing-forest-3698.herokuapp.com)

Currently working on creating a splash page. I had some illustration work done for it, but I am definitely no web-designer.

To you, the end-user, does it illustrate my service in a manner what would entice you to sign up? I tried to focus on clear desciptions and CTA's.

Also, if you are a web-designer and are seeking some work, give me a shout.