> And yet, somehow, the more years go by, the more rarely I watch snowboarding videos.
I'd argue that snowboarding wasn't author's "dream" to begin with. I think it's reductive and unfair to compare your "oh it would be cool to do that" with someone else's actual dream: as in, a passion they pour their life and soul into. Being great at anything takes much more than a passing "it would be neat to be able to do X."
And achieving a dream (say, competing at the Olympics) is a lot less glamorous than a casual tourist might imagine.
Have you thought about absolutely monster knee braces? And then daily squats. They worked for me. Unfortunately now it’s my neck that’s trying to paralyze me, which would be such a not fun outcome.
I would love to be a star ship captain in a universe with faster than light travel. Or a surgeon. But you know actual life is good and I do enjoy watching DS9 with my young adult son, Benjamin. And reading about all the other cool things. It is better to live an imperfect experience than just wish for an ideal imagined experience. And better to act wrongly than to be right but do nothing.
> A life well-lived is really what we should all hope for.
That doesn't make sense. A life however-lived implies you're dead. You cannot admire your well-lived life.
> I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.
You cannot change the future ...
Maybe you're not a native speaker. The reason why I reply is because I notice that many people fall into language traps when reasoning about something philosophical. The result of that reasoning looks good but doesn't check out and hence doesn't get you anywhere in terms of actually realizing something important.
> You know what else I’d like to do besides becoming a great snowboarder? I want to learn kung fu. I’d also love to be a lot better at video games, get my Yu-Gi-Oh! hobby back on, and become at least fluent enough for everyday conversation in oh, I don’t know, eight more languages.
I think this sort of underplays the feeling of "lives unlived, paths not taken" that everyone gets hit with. Just flattens the whole thing that had been building up to that point, instead of allowing it to open up further.
We have to distinguish "our" dreams from, let's say, cultural ones. A lot of what we want, what we perceive as living a full life, having fun and so on comes from culture (and increasingly in the last decades/centuries, with mass media).
Besides that, we can't achieve everything, we could not be everywhere when something interesting happens there, at the very least because a lot of those things happened in the past, or do everything because physical condition, economics, or extra conditions (i.e. being an astronaut).
So you draw lines. This is what I can do, I can go, I can be. You may push boundaries, but in the end it will always be more things outside than inside. And try to be the best on what matters on those boundaries.
There is an analogy to be made between the space of human possibility and the space of possible Turing machines: in an unconstrained machine everything is possible and nothing is probable. If you accept constraints (e.g. the shape of a language) then most things become impossible but some things become probable. That is you gain access to some space and lose access to other space. It's a very fundamental trade-off and it's foolish to worry about it too much, especially considering that there is always some level of zoom where every hero, every winner of every game, is irrelevant.
Indeed the underlying insight that our lives are arbitrarily small and irrelevant, (yes, even the greatest titans of politics, tech, science and art), that drives the tech-elite long-now accelerationist ideal. Every life is characterized by [trade-offs + luck] and none of them have any meaning unless we get through the Great Filter. (Sure, this belief is mostly a post hoc rationalization to just do what you wanted in the first place, but I appreciate the attempt to paper over the naked self-interest.)
One of the best lessons I've learned was that the happiest I've been (so far) was a time when I was dirt poor, while chasing my dream that everyone assured me ends in poverty.
Things have changed, but it takes some of the financial anxiety away when I remember that I would still give up everything to go back to that time.
If (for any reason) we know that dreams cannot be achieved, there is a clear cut. And while it might take time to accept the situation, this realization is Stoic/Zen.
It is way harder if there is a chance, we try, yet fail. When do we keep trying, and how do we do so without losing hope piece by piece? It might be even harder when the dream is not something like "win a gold medal in snowboarding", "build a unicorn startup" or "publish a bestseller". But it is in the line of having kids, or being healthy, or other things that a lot of people take for granted.
Appropos of nothing, snowboarding is so unbelievably fun once you’re past the immediate beginner phase of painfully flip-flopping down a slope, that it’s very reasonable to be a tad angry at not being able to live that dream.
As someone with less than stellar knees who skis a lot, ski/ride powder. It's way easier on the body and more fun too. And maybe skip the big jumps. You can definitely still ride big/steep enough mountains for a big adrenaline rush.
I struggled quite a lot with this. I want to do everything, learn everything thus I ended up mastering nothing.
I've learned to play few instruments in last four years so I can jam with people but I still feel it's not enough.
As I got older I started to value relationships much more and overall became a happier person.
But still the knowledge that I never be a skilled doctor, physicist, exceptional chef, biologist, blacksmith, economist, successful entrepreneur and many more will still somehow hunt me.
I read the article and fight with this from a different angle.
My son was diagnosed with cancer at 3, then during chemo it became abundantly clear that he had far more severe autism than we originally thought. Could have been made worse by the chemo and trauma; no real way to know.
Now my wife and I have had to give up all the dreams we had for when I retired from the military. A few good moves means that I actually retired at 40, though more modestly than I planned. But we will forever be taking care of him.
I had the same mindset about wanting to be good at a lot of things, working on myself, not "wasting time", but now in my mid thirties I figured that if I really wanted to do something, I'd be actually doing it, and a lot of these goals boil down to "it would be cool if I was good at X", and aren't actually things I care about.
As someone that has done snowboarding and skying in Central Europe, the paradise of snowboarders and have been friend of profesionals, you probably don't want to be one of them.
It is one thing to go carving whenever you want, where you want because you have a good job outside it. Another totally different thing is spending all your time training. Most people will hate that.
Everybody wants to be a tennis player when they see one player raising the cup and earning millions. But a professional player spends most of her life doing extremely boring things. And only a very minority get enough money to live from the sport.
The trick is to widen the scope of what you means.
If it means, us and we, then we are pulling 1080s. The dreams become what we can achieve. When anyone broke the 2hr marathon, we were happy for us. We did it, we landed on the moon. We ran a 4 minute mile or summited Everest w/o oxygen. Dreams are a dance and we have to figure out how to include ourselves and others dynamically.
Making peace with the lived ones might be harder. Chasing the startup dream ended in bitterness, disappointment and debt. It forever damaged my marriage and my mental health. Be careful what you wish for.
Ime with sports and injuries. Doctors say alot of things, unless they are sports doctors that work with you to get back to sports or athletic them selves, they just give useless generic advice.
I lost a year becasue of doctors just telling me to rest for a constant pain I had.
Author should just go learn to snowboard. There's athletes out there competing with torn acls.
I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that.
I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well.
Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clothing-wise. I have made peace with all of this.
But what of my dreams of homeownership? If this apartment is the best I will have, then knowing that at least lets me cherish it properly and redirect those savings toward a more immediate improvement in life.
What of my dreams to find a partner? If I’m going to spend my life single and unwed, then I’d at least like to know so I can make peace with that reality and focus my energy on friendships rather than dating.
Yet if I knew whether something was guaranteed, I would not take the risks to achieve it. I wouldn’t meet new people and learn more about my own flaws or strengths in pursuit of a relationship. I wouldn’t have evolved my tastes in food or drink, diversifying away from sugar-laden American foods in huge portions towards curries, and cocktails, and rice, and stir fry, and gyros, and even - dare I confess - salads.
Perhaps I need to make peace with the fact that some dreams are worth fighting for until the bitter end, never knowing if they’re achievable or not.
The article is a bit off base IMHO. That guy could go snowboarding, he just thinks the warning he got creates a risk that isn't worth it. It sounds to me he hasn't even thought much about risk mitigation, or alternatives, etc. So really he's talking about letting go of a non serious fantasy that he has. 'Dream' is a bit of a wishy washy term... you could call that fantasy a dream, but you could also call things you are really determined to achieve a dream also. As long as something is possible, then its potentially achievable. Sometimes you have to go down paths where things only "might" be possible before really knowing if it is actually achievable. If things are important to you, go down "might be possible" paths unless the pursuit of that is detrimental in other significant ways.
The thing is to enjoy the process, not focus on the desired outcome.
> Perhaps I need to make peace with the fact that some dreams are worth fighting for until the bitter end, never knowing if they’re achievable or not
Most of the time, the dream changes as you chase it. Going on the journey changes you, and your perspective gets better and more detailed, and the original dream fades and new dreams arise. And often, those dreams are perfectly achievable, because you've got the knowledge and perspective to know what's a good dream to have.
> I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that
What do you mean? From the rest of your comment it seems you're saying this because you're fat? There are lots of fat fighters in professional MMA. So imagine if they had said that?
Desire makes everything blossom and flourish. Possession makes everything wither and fade.
I’m a lucky son of a gun. Managed to slap the eject button on the treadmill early enough in life that I found myself in my early 30s with all the time in the world, and enough cash that it certainly felt like it.
I went and lived so many dreams. Did a whole bunch of things I had already, in my decade long hermitage of empire building, decided would likely never happen.
It’s a decade later. There isn’t an experience or a thing, short of holidaying on the moon, that I haven’t fulfilled.
It’s terrible. It turns out that wanting something, striving for it, was an awful lot more fun than having it. Great; I’ve caught the mailman - now what?
I’ve ended up retreating, wanting less and less - I now live in a cabin in the woods, not because it’s what I want, per se, but because it’s satisfying in ways that my “dreams” aren't.
It’s odd. I do find myself wondering if this is something internal to us, or if it’s acculturated - that is, are we taught to be tantalus, to dangle a reward just beyond our own grasp so that we might justify striving - or are we born with it, the hunter anticipating fresh meat tonight?
Me, I’ve learned to instead derive satisfaction from the absolutely mundane, because the extraordinary wasn’t really any better.
Anyway. These are hardly new problems. Epicurus mused on what dreams were worth having - which grew a person, which diminished them. Aristotle would say happiness is not a state of attainment or possession but one of activity, of working towards a goal. Diogenes would say “mate, all you need in life is a barrel”, and he’d be right.
I suppose my takeaway from all of it can be summed up as “Do not let imagined futures supersede contact with the present.”
I'm not very materialistic and i have saved heaps, so never in financial trouble.
What I'm always looking for is love, even though I have a loving family, wife and kid. Its always been like that. I almost constantly want to connect with people, as if anyone should be a backup or shoulder to cry on, should I fall. I can't afford to anyone not liking me.
I dream of being with that lady, she makes me feel good when she's around, but my mind knows she cannot fulfill this always present desire for love or close connection. It will certainly not be a good idea to break what I already have, even hardship alone. I don't know her well and i probably never will. So i keep on musing about her, probably as long as I will regularly see her passing by. We will keep on smiling at each other and talk gently about our struggles in life. I can't help it, it's who I am.
So what a lot of people feel around money, posessions, status, early retirement, nice vacations, a trained body... I have around love and connection and it will probably never resolve. I believe I'm coming to terms with it.
We are in the same boat. Wouldn't say I made it or got enough cash. But we are able to choose what we want to do. Turns out living a bit more simple / free is a big part of that. Living in a small forrest, closest neighbor is 10m walking, sleeping outside when we can, doing sideprojects involving energy / waterworks / woodworking. At the moment and making the house mouseproof.
For myself I still want things, but I contain myself more? I dont want to have to travel to see a tourist attractor. Or search for connections that are far away. Just see what is here already and work with that. No need to grasp so much.
I can connect with it as someone who has been trimming down his dreams, one dream at a time, one bit at a time, for so long that it hurts now and feels suffocating at times. The worst are the still lingering around, flickering once in a while.
Lean into medicine, tech and science? Zepbound + strength training is a life transforming miracle and they are coming up with even more effective drugs and modern AI deep research (think coding agent pouring over mountains of data) is amazing at coming up with an investment plan to eventually own a home, for example putting up a downpayment and running a rental in a really cheap area and then eventually using income to finance something more convenient if you are not willing to move.
My point is not that all problems can be solved, but I think what OP is saying is that life is a matter of focus. I am putting plans of a soaring corporate career on ice not because I am 100% sure I couldn't swing it but because trying to would take focus away from things I want more like lifting heavy weights and tinkering with tech at home. But for absolute top priorities, I don't think it's ever worth giving up on the concept. Hard limits can be handled by reframing what success looks like and path to get there, not giving up on the essence.
I competed at a professional level in motorsports and had a lot of momentum in my 20s. It felt as though I was headed to the top of the sport, but it came to an abrupt end from a rare medical condition. I struggled for several years to come to terms with not knowing what could of been and probably had some minor depression because of it. It took a lot of self reflection and time to realize that I was extremely lucky to experience what I had, and I had so much to be happy about in the present.
That being said, there is a Limitless episode with Chris Hemsworth that might resonate with you, especially regarding martial arts. Watch season 1, episode 6, called "Acceptance". I had never watched any other episode of this show, but late one night when the whole house was asleep I was browsing and came across this episode and thought "hmm, looks like a good bedtime show". Ended up watching it and you'd have thought someone was cutting a thousand onions in my house. In fact, our Golden Retriever turned into a service dog that night hah!
Actually I think poorly imagined dreams is a big problem.
People who have poorly imagined dreams are likely to screw up their working life and their retirement too.
There is more that you can pull off during your working years. As a matter of fact, you SHOULD. instead of sitting in front of the tv this weekend, go somewhere.
And in retirement, there is probably less you can pull off unless you focus and make it your job. You should do vigorous cardio, do strength training, connect with people more, not less. and make a good healthy retirement your job.
> Millennials are a generation that has fallen into the trap of constant self-development
Self-development brought me so much though. I am happily married because of it, and probably wouldn’t have been romantically seen without it.
I know this because I have a friend who is a lot like me and he didn’t develop himself enough and he stays single. Because of his strides in self-development from back in the day. He does get a lot of dates, but every time they say after one or two dates that they should just be friends.
It’s harsh to say he didn’t develop himself enough. I also find it true. He didn’t find it worth it to overcome his fears and wants to stay in his comfort zone. He has fun playing sports, board games with friends and video games. But I also know that he yearns for a romantic connection. And that’s the issue.
I do agree that for people like me and my friend the self-development route is really demanding. I simply hate being single more. So I dedicated my life to it, and at some point I figured it out and realized it was more like a 5 year journey of which 4 years were back to back and then 1 year spread out over like 12 years (so a good month per year, I didn’t need to do more).
Now I’m on a similar journey for financial independence but I’m noticing that I don’t have a similar drive. Constantly forcing myself to do self-development is now perhaps too much to ask.
This article reminded me of this game called "Before your eyes" that is sort of tackling this same theme of unlived dreams. That game helped me realized that I will definitely not achieve all of my dreams but it also gave me the power to pursue them anyway.
I love that game. It's a 1-2h hour long game that I recommend everyone to play (and it's kinda a unique game that use your blinking as a game mechanic)
83 comments
[ 4.5 ms ] story [ 73.8 ms ] threadI'd argue that snowboarding wasn't author's "dream" to begin with. I think it's reductive and unfair to compare your "oh it would be cool to do that" with someone else's actual dream: as in, a passion they pour their life and soul into. Being great at anything takes much more than a passing "it would be neat to be able to do X."
And achieving a dream (say, competing at the Olympics) is a lot less glamorous than a casual tourist might imagine.
Sitting and thinking for 10 minutes about snowboarding when your knees are blown out is 10 minutes you could have used differently.
Everyone has regrets but my attitude is: I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.
That doesn't make sense. A life however-lived implies you're dead. You cannot admire your well-lived life.
> I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.
You cannot change the future ...
Maybe you're not a native speaker. The reason why I reply is because I notice that many people fall into language traps when reasoning about something philosophical. The result of that reasoning looks good but doesn't check out and hence doesn't get you anywhere in terms of actually realizing something important.
I think this sort of underplays the feeling of "lives unlived, paths not taken" that everyone gets hit with. Just flattens the whole thing that had been building up to that point, instead of allowing it to open up further.
Besides that, we can't achieve everything, we could not be everywhere when something interesting happens there, at the very least because a lot of those things happened in the past, or do everything because physical condition, economics, or extra conditions (i.e. being an astronaut).
So you draw lines. This is what I can do, I can go, I can be. You may push boundaries, but in the end it will always be more things outside than inside. And try to be the best on what matters on those boundaries.
Indeed the underlying insight that our lives are arbitrarily small and irrelevant, (yes, even the greatest titans of politics, tech, science and art), that drives the tech-elite long-now accelerationist ideal. Every life is characterized by [trade-offs + luck] and none of them have any meaning unless we get through the Great Filter. (Sure, this belief is mostly a post hoc rationalization to just do what you wanted in the first place, but I appreciate the attempt to paper over the naked self-interest.)
Things have changed, but it takes some of the financial anxiety away when I remember that I would still give up everything to go back to that time.
If (for any reason) we know that dreams cannot be achieved, there is a clear cut. And while it might take time to accept the situation, this realization is Stoic/Zen.
It is way harder if there is a chance, we try, yet fail. When do we keep trying, and how do we do so without losing hope piece by piece? It might be even harder when the dream is not something like "win a gold medal in snowboarding", "build a unicorn startup" or "publish a bestseller". But it is in the line of having kids, or being healthy, or other things that a lot of people take for granted.
I've learned to play few instruments in last four years so I can jam with people but I still feel it's not enough.
As I got older I started to value relationships much more and overall became a happier person.
But still the knowledge that I never be a skilled doctor, physicist, exceptional chef, biologist, blacksmith, economist, successful entrepreneur and many more will still somehow hunt me.
My son was diagnosed with cancer at 3, then during chemo it became abundantly clear that he had far more severe autism than we originally thought. Could have been made worse by the chemo and trauma; no real way to know.
Now my wife and I have had to give up all the dreams we had for when I retired from the military. A few good moves means that I actually retired at 40, though more modestly than I planned. But we will forever be taking care of him.
So we struggle with the unlived dreams often.
It is one thing to go carving whenever you want, where you want because you have a good job outside it. Another totally different thing is spending all your time training. Most people will hate that.
Everybody wants to be a tennis player when they see one player raising the cup and earning millions. But a professional player spends most of her life doing extremely boring things. And only a very minority get enough money to live from the sport.
If it means, us and we, then we are pulling 1080s. The dreams become what we can achieve. When anyone broke the 2hr marathon, we were happy for us. We did it, we landed on the moon. We ran a 4 minute mile or summited Everest w/o oxygen. Dreams are a dance and we have to figure out how to include ourselves and others dynamically.
I lost a year becasue of doctors just telling me to rest for a constant pain I had.
Author should just go learn to snowboard. There's athletes out there competing with torn acls.
I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that.
I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well.
Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clothing-wise. I have made peace with all of this.
But what of my dreams of homeownership? If this apartment is the best I will have, then knowing that at least lets me cherish it properly and redirect those savings toward a more immediate improvement in life.
What of my dreams to find a partner? If I’m going to spend my life single and unwed, then I’d at least like to know so I can make peace with that reality and focus my energy on friendships rather than dating.
Yet if I knew whether something was guaranteed, I would not take the risks to achieve it. I wouldn’t meet new people and learn more about my own flaws or strengths in pursuit of a relationship. I wouldn’t have evolved my tastes in food or drink, diversifying away from sugar-laden American foods in huge portions towards curries, and cocktails, and rice, and stir fry, and gyros, and even - dare I confess - salads.
Perhaps I need to make peace with the fact that some dreams are worth fighting for until the bitter end, never knowing if they’re achievable or not.
The thing is to enjoy the process, not focus on the desired outcome.
> Perhaps I need to make peace with the fact that some dreams are worth fighting for until the bitter end, never knowing if they’re achievable or not
Most of the time, the dream changes as you chase it. Going on the journey changes you, and your perspective gets better and more detailed, and the original dream fades and new dreams arise. And often, those dreams are perfectly achievable, because you've got the knowledge and perspective to know what's a good dream to have.
What do you mean? From the rest of your comment it seems you're saying this because you're fat? There are lots of fat fighters in professional MMA. So imagine if they had said that?
Desire makes everything blossom and flourish. Possession makes everything wither and fade.
I’m a lucky son of a gun. Managed to slap the eject button on the treadmill early enough in life that I found myself in my early 30s with all the time in the world, and enough cash that it certainly felt like it.
I went and lived so many dreams. Did a whole bunch of things I had already, in my decade long hermitage of empire building, decided would likely never happen.
It’s a decade later. There isn’t an experience or a thing, short of holidaying on the moon, that I haven’t fulfilled.
It’s terrible. It turns out that wanting something, striving for it, was an awful lot more fun than having it. Great; I’ve caught the mailman - now what?
I’ve ended up retreating, wanting less and less - I now live in a cabin in the woods, not because it’s what I want, per se, but because it’s satisfying in ways that my “dreams” aren't.
It’s odd. I do find myself wondering if this is something internal to us, or if it’s acculturated - that is, are we taught to be tantalus, to dangle a reward just beyond our own grasp so that we might justify striving - or are we born with it, the hunter anticipating fresh meat tonight?
Me, I’ve learned to instead derive satisfaction from the absolutely mundane, because the extraordinary wasn’t really any better.
Anyway. These are hardly new problems. Epicurus mused on what dreams were worth having - which grew a person, which diminished them. Aristotle would say happiness is not a state of attainment or possession but one of activity, of working towards a goal. Diogenes would say “mate, all you need in life is a barrel”, and he’d be right.
I suppose my takeaway from all of it can be summed up as “Do not let imagined futures supersede contact with the present.”
What I'm always looking for is love, even though I have a loving family, wife and kid. Its always been like that. I almost constantly want to connect with people, as if anyone should be a backup or shoulder to cry on, should I fall. I can't afford to anyone not liking me.
I dream of being with that lady, she makes me feel good when she's around, but my mind knows she cannot fulfill this always present desire for love or close connection. It will certainly not be a good idea to break what I already have, even hardship alone. I don't know her well and i probably never will. So i keep on musing about her, probably as long as I will regularly see her passing by. We will keep on smiling at each other and talk gently about our struggles in life. I can't help it, it's who I am.
So what a lot of people feel around money, posessions, status, early retirement, nice vacations, a trained body... I have around love and connection and it will probably never resolve. I believe I'm coming to terms with it.
For myself I still want things, but I contain myself more? I dont want to have to travel to see a tourist attractor. Or search for connections that are far away. Just see what is here already and work with that. No need to grasp so much.
I fit into M. And "fun cars"
(I dont drive)
(Im a virgin)
My point is not that all problems can be solved, but I think what OP is saying is that life is a matter of focus. I am putting plans of a soaring corporate career on ice not because I am 100% sure I couldn't swing it but because trying to would take focus away from things I want more like lifting heavy weights and tinkering with tech at home. But for absolute top priorities, I don't think it's ever worth giving up on the concept. Hard limits can be handled by reframing what success looks like and path to get there, not giving up on the essence.
That being said, there is a Limitless episode with Chris Hemsworth that might resonate with you, especially regarding martial arts. Watch season 1, episode 6, called "Acceptance". I had never watched any other episode of this show, but late one night when the whole house was asleep I was browsing and came across this episode and thought "hmm, looks like a good bedtime show". Ended up watching it and you'd have thought someone was cutting a thousand onions in my house. In fact, our Golden Retriever turned into a service dog that night hah!
People who have poorly imagined dreams are likely to screw up their working life and their retirement too.
There is more that you can pull off during your working years. As a matter of fact, you SHOULD. instead of sitting in front of the tv this weekend, go somewhere.
And in retirement, there is probably less you can pull off unless you focus and make it your job. You should do vigorous cardio, do strength training, connect with people more, not less. and make a good healthy retirement your job.
Self-development brought me so much though. I am happily married because of it, and probably wouldn’t have been romantically seen without it.
I know this because I have a friend who is a lot like me and he didn’t develop himself enough and he stays single. Because of his strides in self-development from back in the day. He does get a lot of dates, but every time they say after one or two dates that they should just be friends.
It’s harsh to say he didn’t develop himself enough. I also find it true. He didn’t find it worth it to overcome his fears and wants to stay in his comfort zone. He has fun playing sports, board games with friends and video games. But I also know that he yearns for a romantic connection. And that’s the issue.
I do agree that for people like me and my friend the self-development route is really demanding. I simply hate being single more. So I dedicated my life to it, and at some point I figured it out and realized it was more like a 5 year journey of which 4 years were back to back and then 1 year spread out over like 12 years (so a good month per year, I didn’t need to do more).
Now I’m on a similar journey for financial independence but I’m noticing that I don’t have a similar drive. Constantly forcing myself to do self-development is now perhaps too much to ask.
So I guess it also depends on once drive.
I love that game. It's a 1-2h hour long game that I recommend everyone to play (and it's kinda a unique game that use your blinking as a game mechanic)