For me, having a close personal friend pass away illustrated with painful precision how little time we have in our lives. In the blink of an eye, we'll be on our deathbed.
There is nothing more valuable than time. Nothing.
BTW, if you Google his name, you'll find a large number of articles from right-wing sites that allege there was foul play...which I guess is the kind of BS that we have to expect in partisan politics. What is surprising to me is that the OP talks about how Okrent's death has made him more conscious about health, but Okrent did not look at all like the stereotype of unhealthy. I wonder if the heart attack was related to some congenital heart disease?
>I know I can’t fully control my health and what fate has in store for me, but I can be damn sure I’ve tried my hardest to stay healthy and given myself as long of a chance as I can to spend time with and help others.
I personally have been in the process of making such a change over the last 3 years. I do compound lifts and do extensive cardio nearly every day. For about a month now, I've been bike commuting to work (30 miles round trip) even in the rain. I used to eat a load of red meat every week, but now I've been pescatarian for a good two months. I typically sleep before midnight and brush my teeth twice a day (gum infections are bad! and expensive to treat!).
But what I find much more difficult than taking care of myself is getting friends to take care of themselves. Telling them bluntly that "you need to get in shape" or "you should go to the gym" or "you should stop eating junk food" isn't likely to get them to change. But what I've found is that oftentimes, indirect methods are more effective tools for bringing about change than the blunt, direct, brash modes of influence. A person might not want to go to a gym by themselves, but they're much more likely to come out to a long hike with a small group of mutual friends, followed by a healthy lunch downtown.
I have a longtime friend who's become out of shape over the years that I hadn't seen him (I was out of the area for the good part of the last 10 years). He's has easily one of the sharpest minds I have encountered, completely trumping my own mind in every way. To think that his health may expedite his eventual demise is an idea that tortures me.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to gently, indirectly, steer him back to the good health he used to be in 10 years ago (he used to compete on a national level in a certain sport).
You need to deeply examine whatever burried anxieties are causing you to feel a need to try to get other people to live their lives the way you think they should. Why do you feel this need? Why does it "torture" you that someone else may have a different outlook on what makes him happy?
People are free to live their lives however they want to within the law. If you want to smoke, eat or drink your way into an early grave, you're free to do so, and I don't think that the law should change in this regard.
That being the case, I for one am perfectly happy for people to give me unwarranted, evidence-based advice on any subject, especially when it comes to health. I also welcome any direct or indirect manipulation if it helps me take action to improve my quality of life.
If I'm not convinced by what you have to say, I'll filter it out.
Seriously ... there's a big difference between a busybody and sincere concern from a friend. To a real friend, you're always free to say "thanks, but I understand the tradeoffs, and it's my decision."
To be honest, I often feel rather flattered (even if embarrassed) when given uncomfortable but well-meant advice, because in many cases it means the friend cared enough to say something awkward; it's almost always much easier to say nothing at all...
That's definitely the case for me when saying something a bit uncomfortable for the both of us. I think to myself "is it worth it? Do I care enough about this person to say something somewhat critical?"
As a result I only say such things to friends I respect and care enough about that I'm willing to take the risk of even straining a relationship.
I can easily identify this source of anxiety of mine, because it is the same anxiety that is the driving factor behind my own sometimes neurotic pursuit of health. Unfortunately this is something very personal so I hope you will forgive me for not going into detail on what exactly it is.
Oh also, I'm not sure how much it matters, but this person has already expressed the desire to become a bit healthier but had lamented his lack of time for doing so (he travels extensively for business and is out of town easily more than half the year).
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[ 2.9 ms ] story [ 35.9 ms ] threadThere is nothing more valuable than time. Nothing.
BTW, if you Google his name, you'll find a large number of articles from right-wing sites that allege there was foul play...which I guess is the kind of BS that we have to expect in partisan politics. What is surprising to me is that the OP talks about how Okrent's death has made him more conscious about health, but Okrent did not look at all like the stereotype of unhealthy. I wonder if the heart attack was related to some congenital heart disease?
"Who Is Alex Okrent? (Apart from another dead Obama contact!)..."
Jesus christ.
I just try to at least avoid being the guy they've gotta move with a crane and bury in a shipping container...
I personally have been in the process of making such a change over the last 3 years. I do compound lifts and do extensive cardio nearly every day. For about a month now, I've been bike commuting to work (30 miles round trip) even in the rain. I used to eat a load of red meat every week, but now I've been pescatarian for a good two months. I typically sleep before midnight and brush my teeth twice a day (gum infections are bad! and expensive to treat!).
But what I find much more difficult than taking care of myself is getting friends to take care of themselves. Telling them bluntly that "you need to get in shape" or "you should go to the gym" or "you should stop eating junk food" isn't likely to get them to change. But what I've found is that oftentimes, indirect methods are more effective tools for bringing about change than the blunt, direct, brash modes of influence. A person might not want to go to a gym by themselves, but they're much more likely to come out to a long hike with a small group of mutual friends, followed by a healthy lunch downtown.
I have a longtime friend who's become out of shape over the years that I hadn't seen him (I was out of the area for the good part of the last 10 years). He's has easily one of the sharpest minds I have encountered, completely trumping my own mind in every way. To think that his health may expedite his eventual demise is an idea that tortures me.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to gently, indirectly, steer him back to the good health he used to be in 10 years ago (he used to compete on a national level in a certain sport).
That being the case, I for one am perfectly happy for people to give me unwarranted, evidence-based advice on any subject, especially when it comes to health. I also welcome any direct or indirect manipulation if it helps me take action to improve my quality of life.
If I'm not convinced by what you have to say, I'll filter it out.
To be honest, I often feel rather flattered (even if embarrassed) when given uncomfortable but well-meant advice, because in many cases it means the friend cared enough to say something awkward; it's almost always much easier to say nothing at all...
As a result I only say such things to friends I respect and care enough about that I'm willing to take the risk of even straining a relationship.
Oh also, I'm not sure how much it matters, but this person has already expressed the desire to become a bit healthier but had lamented his lack of time for doing so (he travels extensively for business and is out of town easily more than half the year).