Need to turn my life around

I am very serious about this post.

I am 30 now, left my job in May.

I have 1.6 million dollars.

I have no idea what to do with my life.

I am stuck at home, stressed out every day, probably very depressed, can't seem to stick with any positive habits that I start.

I get very overwhelmed with thinking about how I'm 30, and it may be until I'm 40 until I can start adding value to the world again.

I also think, surely there must be a shortcut for someone who already has this kind of money, but I have asked around so much, I think I'm on my own.

I have always enjoyed reading through this website, and I am an entrepreneur by heart, but I just have never actually done anything. I shoot everything down before I do it. Not scalable, too small, someone else has done it, I'm not smart enough to do that, etc...

This is probably such a stupid way to approach such a question, but I have been 'stuck' for 7 months now, and I am getting worse.

Suicide crosses my mind daily, but I'm not thinking about doing it, I just mention it because that's how hopeless I feel.

I feel like I'm going to burn through my money at some point, or the market will crash, and I will be done.

I have always had big dreams, but when I'm faced with actually doing them, it seems too big. Too grandiose.

I need something. If you can give me anything, I don't care what it is, I need some kind of direction to get started. I am ready and willing to do anything, because my other options are not looking too good.

Sorry for the depressing post, but if I do become successful, I will be paying it forward in a big way to the people here. You guys are special, and have already helped me get to this point, which was a big step from where I was. I know that sounds funny, but I was on a one way track to nowhere. Now I have some sort of direction, but I need more. I need to get out of being stuck.

2 comments

[ 4.7 ms ] story [ 17.0 ms ] thread

MichaelAO 13y ago ↗

So many things one could say... I actually just watched a movie called "Happy" earlier today, watch that (it's on Netflix) and report back. You have a tremendous opportunity to make a positive impact in this world, heck I'm sure you already have in many ways. Cheer up : ) "I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."

Macadamia 13y ago ↗

Start by volunteering.

If an idea of where to do that just popped into your head, do that. Otherwise, Google for the closest religious organization to your house and head over there. In person, right now. It doesn't matter if you're religious, most of them do generally humanitarian work. Tell them that you're trying to get involved in the community and ask to join the next available event.

We talk about changing the world, often through the application of extremely abstract skills to fairly abstract problems, but it sounds like what you need is tangible feedback about the impact of your work, and a warm flesh-and-blood community to be part of. This comic is a poignant example of how unfulfilling abstract work can be, even if it's important: http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2305

Here's the thing - you do not have to do this one-on-one stuff for very long. This is just a step to open you up to the world at large, and create a tangible sense of progress. Soon, I'm sure you'll notice some way to make a slightly bigger difference, because you've been surrounded by important problems, big and small. You'll do that, and see how you could expand it, and do that. You will be doing more and more generally powerful good, but it will be grounded in your tangible experience.

After that, just keep focusing on your next mountain, even if you've heard stories that someone once climbed Everest. Just keep moving.

Finally, please PLEASE find someone to talk to if you think you're feeling depressed. If it turns out that you're not clinically depressed, great! If you are, getting help is incredibly important. Getting back in action is worth every penny that it will cost, both from the prospective of your well being and ability to contribute to society.