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I understand and am sympathetic to the aversion to "stealth mode" but it depends on the context. I've often had people use stealth mode to mean, "I don't want it getting back to my boss that I'm talking to you about job opportunity, tech, etc."

In fact I'd say both of the things you mention I've mostly seen come from people who are too close to the investor or investor mindset.

Great point, I think it also matters what industry you are in. For example a friend just mentioned this: "In my old industry (solar), the possibility of someone stealing your technology before you could get it to market was very real."

My argument is by no means a rule, just a personal observation.

I've found while living the Bay Area saying you are an employee rather than a founder during certain social events stops conversations faster than saying you are in stealth mode. "Oh cool, well great to meet you! walks away"
I kinda like killing it...but it's only because we are ;-)
Great clip from Harj in the post
Is there somewhere where founders can share and receive feedback on issues they are currently dealing with? I never claim to be "killing it" but in casual conversation if asked about my startup I'll respond with a generally positive statement assuming the person doesn't want an earful of all the issues currently running through my head. If there was a venue for this type of conversation I'd participate.