My program won't compile, I think I've lost one of my bits, can you help me find it? I think I dropped it on the carpet over there, it may have rolled under the desk.
The final exam in my Networks class had a section with jokes and comics and you had to explain why they were funny. The following two were on it, among others:
The great thing about TCP jokes is you always get them.
A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I want a beer." The bartender asks, "You want a beer?" and the TCP packet says, "Yes, a beer."
A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.00000000001000000...897175 root beers. The bartender says, "I'll have to charge you extra; that's a root beer float". And the programmer says, "In that case, make it a double".
The "programmer joke" and "programmer cartoon" questions were two of the most highly upvoted questions that have since been removed from the site because they aren't actually programming questions. I created this archive to attempt to preserve some of this early history of Stack Overflow.
Two Programmers are walking along the sidewalk when both simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill on the ground between them. They begin a lively discussion of the nature of the problem, what is right? What is moral, what is just? What would people of various religions say? Should we split it? Does might make right? They spend hours discussing the fascinating problem and what should be done about it. They finally decide to settle things like the enlightened manner appropriate for civilized beings. A game a rock paper scissors. While performing the game, a Religious figure runs up, grabs the money, waves around a knife and disappears back into the crowd.
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[ 5.3 ms ] story [ 174 ms ] threadQ: How do you obtain a random string?
A: Put a freshman compsci student in front of a vim terminal and tell him to save and quit.
That cartoon must be pretty old...
Other programmer says: I can't tell you where the specs were designed, but be careful, the paper is still hot.
Chuck Norris invented programming. Why do you think it began with punch cards?
Chuck Norris never gets thread contention; threads cooperate if they want to live.
If Norris doesn't like your site, he duck-punches your Javascript until it works.
I attempted to kill -9 Chuck Norris and my keyboard shocked me for my impudence.
Chuck Norris can write Haskell... in assembler.
Hey Gabe! Come over here... someone on earth has found a bug in your physics program.
Dear me, I thought I'd fixed that centuries ago.
Oh well, better late than never.
'tappity, clickety, tappity'. 'make; make deploy'
There, that'll do it. Another aeon, another bugfix.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_fusion
I know a joke about UDP, but you might not get it..
The great thing about TCP jokes is you always get them.
A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I want a beer." The bartender asks, "You want a beer?" and the TCP packet says, "Yes, a beer."
This one is obviously better when telling someone in person...
Dolphin gray: #eeeeee
Psycho killer gray: #fafafa
The "programmer joke" and "programmer cartoon" questions were two of the most highly upvoted questions that have since been removed from the site because they aren't actually programming questions. I created this archive to attempt to preserve some of this early history of Stack Overflow.
"Does the curley brace go on the first line of the for loop or on the next line?"
Laugh at any opinion given, calling them "silly".
A. Inheritance
If your language had true garbage collection, the compiler would have deleted this program upon execution.
He takes a look at the hacker and says "Ain't ya gonna have a drink?"
The hacker looks back almost offended "Don't you know, drinking is a sin!"
"ACK." Says the bartender, and he walks away.
Too long to paste here, but it's stood the test of time.
2nd Programmer says: For you I would suggest a "directed acyclic graph".