Is there something I'm suppose to be doing?
For the last ~3 years, I've never been content for more than a few months. It often manifests it's self in the form of my job situation. I get a new job, a couple months go by and I get tired of it. It's not limited to my job though. I have a constant habit of picking something, completely enveloping my self in it, and then within a few weeks to a month, the thought of it disgusts me.
I'm constantly searching for some type of business to create, but deep down I know I'm not a business person. I'm nervous to the point of physically shaking when put in confrontational situations.
I often feel like I need to channel my impulses into something that doesn't effect my life, like video games, or hobbies, but it never seems to last.
Is there something I'm suppose to be doing that I'm not? Or maybe I just have some horrible habits that have grown into monsters?
It's gotten to the point that I'm mentally exhausted with my erratic notions.
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[ 64.9 ms ] story [ 212 ms ] threadStart making some big changes, drop the bad habits and pickup beneficial ones. Stop being subject to your emotions and take control. If you want a broad goal you're going to have to do things during the interim that don't seem attractive. Learn to love that process.
You are completely normal, especially in the entrepreneurial world where folks get bored pretty often. Do whatever, but dont give up your search for the 'fit' I am sure you will find a way out.
2) If your unhappiness doesn't come from your job, are you satisfied with your personal life? Often when someone is unhappy with their personal life it spills over into their work life. Do you have friends, a significant other, and/or hobbies?
3) You might still consider pursuing entrepreneurship. A lot of entrepreneurs seem to have had difficulty being satisfied in a corporate environment. What do you mean by "confrontational situations?" Business usually does not consist of confrontational situations. In the tech world, people are actually very nice. When people in the tech and non-tech world say no to you, they will often do so by either 1) politely saying no, or 2) ignoring you, neither of which are confrontational. People are actually quite eager to help others out.
The only cases in which arguments get heated that I can think of are when you argue with people who work with/for you about a decision that you both hold strong opinions about. In this case, you avoid this by hiring/working with people who communicate very diplomatically. In any case, if you ever have a co-founder, typically your co-founder should be someone you've worked with before or are friends with, so that level of personal familiarity should alleviate things.
EDIT reading that back it doesn't seem as relevant as I thought it would...
Experiment with reducing stimulation. Learn mindfulness meditation, which is proven to lessen anxiety. Take some walks in the mountains or nature. Climb trees. I remember when I recently re-discovered pleasure in the simplest things, like the sound of wind moving through trees, or the feel of the green moss beside the forest brook. These things only appear to have lost meaning because we have come to think of them as abstractions, as mere information or symbols, rather than in four dimensions that flow within and through us. The second chapter in Ray Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine" captures this well.
Take your pen and notebook. Experiment with and appreciate incremental change to habits. Forgive yourself and others.
Until you discover a greater purpose, then your greater purpose IS that process of searching and assimilating...your life already means more immediately the moment you take the decision to get serious about it in this way. And by the way, software engineering is a powerful craft. You can address almost any purpose through it.
Listen for these long range signals, and in the end, you'll feel truly satisfied in proportion to your creative generosity to the world.
All the best.