Sorry, I think I agree with this article. Pretty is just another word that objectifies people by complimenting the most superficial aspect of their being.
We don't have to talk to everyone the same way we talk to children. I have female friends who are, in fact, pretty, and I tell them this because it makes them feel good to hear it, and it feels good to say it. (And yes, I know this is true, we are close enough to know each other well enough to share this kind of thing.)
Ah, yes, I completely forgot that the Huffington Post is completely infallible and that everything published on that website is complete and total fact and certainly not opinion.
I do not think "pretty" is objectifying in the slightest. "Sexy"? Yes. But telling someone they're pretty is a benign compliment. Is it superficial? Maybe. Of course, superficiality has many facets. I would call the endless stream of weight-loss programs that are so heavily advertised as having a negative influence. I would call the magazines promoting extremely thin models and calling them "ideal" as superficial.
But telling someone that they're pretty is benign. It doesn't flatter the ego over a certain age and it certainly isn't objectifying.
I don't see how the source is relevant to my opinion. I agree with it because I'm capable of critical thought, not just because of the source. It's obviously opinion.
I think you have a different definition of objectifying than I do. That's fine. I'm a Buddhist, so I have a very liberal definition of what it means to see something as an "object".
Phrasing and context is critical, of course. If someone tells me I'm pretty and I don't know them, it's awkward and creepy. If someone I've known for a decade tells me the same, the comment is colored by my understanding of what they mean. If someone tells me that I'm a beautiful person, that's less objectifying than telling me I'm beautiful. If someone tells me that they enjoy being around me, that's unambiguously a compliment. They're commenting on their own state of being instead of commenting on mine.
It's complicated. I probably shouldn't comment on this further since it is something I've been thinking about pretty hard for a long time and my conclusions are not necessarily intuitively obvious.
Forgive me if I'm missing the point, I'm just trying to obtain some perspective. Assuming that telling someone they're pretty does indeed work, what benefit does the sender have by sending them a link to your website? Could not they just type directly onto their wall (as it seems to be centered around facebook)?
First off, I'm not sure what you mean by saying that telling someone they're pretty 'works' or 'does not work'. There is no underlying goal here than making someone smile if only for a second.
You could just post it on someone's wall, but I think by posting this link its saying that you came across this website and the first person you thought of was them. Plus it's cool to see your name in the middle of the screen center of attention.
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[ 3.1 ms ] story [ 30.6 ms ] threadThe idea is you send that URL to someone you want to creep out, I mean compliment.
Edit - fixed URL
Sorry, I think I agree with this article. Pretty is just another word that objectifies people by complimenting the most superficial aspect of their being.
I do not think "pretty" is objectifying in the slightest. "Sexy"? Yes. But telling someone they're pretty is a benign compliment. Is it superficial? Maybe. Of course, superficiality has many facets. I would call the endless stream of weight-loss programs that are so heavily advertised as having a negative influence. I would call the magazines promoting extremely thin models and calling them "ideal" as superficial.
But telling someone that they're pretty is benign. It doesn't flatter the ego over a certain age and it certainly isn't objectifying.
I think you have a different definition of objectifying than I do. That's fine. I'm a Buddhist, so I have a very liberal definition of what it means to see something as an "object".
Phrasing and context is critical, of course. If someone tells me I'm pretty and I don't know them, it's awkward and creepy. If someone I've known for a decade tells me the same, the comment is colored by my understanding of what they mean. If someone tells me that I'm a beautiful person, that's less objectifying than telling me I'm beautiful. If someone tells me that they enjoy being around me, that's unambiguously a compliment. They're commenting on their own state of being instead of commenting on mine.
It's complicated. I probably shouldn't comment on this further since it is something I've been thinking about pretty hard for a long time and my conclusions are not necessarily intuitively obvious.
http://yourereallypretty.com/#George+W.+Bush
Either way, I upvoted.
Of the 4 possible compliments between genders (however unlikely) this seems to be about man to woman compliments? The site has a male quality to it.