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How do you deal with a pessimistic co-founder?

2 points by dakrisht ↗ HN
The title kind of says it all.

How do you deal with a pessimistic co-founder? You can't get rid of him because he's vital - and he's a friend.

But every conversation with an investor or advisor or etc. is taken too literally by him. Sure, the positive is absorbed but the negative equally as much.

Everyone has an opinion, there will always be the naysayers, the doubters, the idiots... but that shouldn't dissuade someone from sticking to the core vision, to the belief and the journey of making great things. It's tiring and stressful (not to mention depressing at times) when dealing with a co-founder who has to be put back in check after someone mentions a small problem or issue to him... I don't get it.

It's a product of upbringing and how he was raised, and I do value people who are very grounded and more "reality-based" than some of us dreamers and people living up in the clouds. And you need that for a successful company.

But what do you guys think.

Sorry if this seems like a rant, it isn't, I just wanted to hear some thoughts from people who have or work with people that are too negative and pessimistic for their own good...

5 comments

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nati
I believe that one should analyze things pessimistically, plan realistically and act optimistically. So he is allowed to be pessimistic behind closed doors when you asses possibilities or do SWAT ... but not in front of customers and investors. maybe he can live by this mantra :-)?
jfoster
Does he view himself as a pessimist? Raising his level of self awareness might be a good start if not.
dakrisht
I think he acknowledges it, but that's just the way he was raised. I try to empower him and he gets it for the most part but I think there will always be an element of cynicism within him. That's just who he is. It's great when gets excited and driven, but the negativity is overwhelming at times and needless to say, counter intuitive to our goals.
mknappen
Core vision and core value are two different things. For example, a marriage is anchored by shared values but the vision of who they are in the world and where they are going can change many times depending on circumstance. A marriage can survive many job changes and different addresses. If you have someone who is going a whole different place value-wise then the partnership is not going to work. If this is a vision thing, you are probably going to have a productive, if frustrating time of it. There is a successful, multi-decade corporation/partnership team I know made up of a detail-oriented, responsible pessimist and the big-picture, visionary optimist. The trick, I've been told, is that they are willing to force the other to justify their thinking. By the time they make a big decision, they have slugged it out behind closed doors and have a very honest understanding of all possible outcomes. They use "proof of concept" trials prior to a big leap because someone needs to actually prove the concept to the other prior to changing direction. Also, they keep enough cash on hand to survive a failed initiative, because neither wants to bring down the company after the other signs on to the new vision. The founders have driven each other crazy at times but both admit that there is no way either could have been even 25% as successful individually.
Cardeck1
Well are you dealing with this situation right now or you just want to know what happens in this case scenario?