I always say No because I usually enter a store with a product (or product type) already in mind and just desperately want to avoid getting upsold by the packs of roving sales peoples trying to boost their commission by selling me something I don't need.
I have occasionally had good experiences talking to sales types at retail places (including just a couple days ago) but normally if they get persistent I just end up ducking out and getting what I want from Amazon.
„avoid getting upsold by the packs of roving sales peoples trying to boost their commission by selling me something I don't need.“
I have some friends working in stores who quit their jobs because they were forced to sell nonsense stuff in addition to products :-/ Pushes me in the Amazon direction, too...
I had a job in college where I was supposed to sell worthless "protection plans" on every goddamned product in the store. Second-to-worst job I ever had.
"People wouldn’t (especially men) enter a store just for the sake of it, they want help."
I prefer to engage with others as little when I enter a store. I want to find the stuff I want, pay for it, and get out. I'm even willing to spend twice as much time (or more) looking for what I want than I would have if I have go engage with a store assistant.
I'm not exactly socially awkward, either. I just hate shopping. I find stores quite adversarial. I feel that assistants aren't really there to help me; they're there to maximize profits for their employer. I prefer to make a buying decision without the time pressure I feel if I'm being helped. If I'm told "you look great in that" I am unable to figure out if it's really suitable for me, or if the assistant just wants to make a sale, or if the assistant hasn't been able to judge me accurately.
My answer to “Are you after pants or tops today?” will always be “I'm just looking; thanks.”
That quote ending with "they want help" reminds me of Alec Baldwin's monologue in Glengarry Glen Ross. It sounds salesy to me, and I'd reply with "just looking" and pretend to be undisturbed but to soon leave the store, much less likely to return.
Seriously. Don't feel guilty? You're going to scare a fair number of customers away, such as myself. If every time I go into a store I get a question like that which can't easily be dodged, I'll probably stop going.
Walking around wearing headphones (even if you're not listening to anything) is a simple way to signal that you don't want people to try to talk to you.
I feel the same. but it's worth remembering that from the store/salesperson's point of view, it's all a numbers game. No single tactic will work on everybody, but as long as it improves sales in the aggregate it's usually a good move.
Which is just to say that your experience/reaction isn't invalid in any way, but it doesn't mean that the OP can't still be good advice.
My experience in New York City last year led me to be buying less than I would if just left alone to browse. Even when I said I'm just looking the assistants wouldn't leave me alone. Presumably they're on commission.
Here' some advice - just leave me alone and be available if I have questions. Don't second guess me.
I often do go into a store with a low expectation to buy, especially if it's a new shop that people are talking about or if I'm travelling and have an hour to kill before my train arrives.
I mean, I might buy something if it really jumps out at me but I'm probably not thinking specifically in terms of "pants or shirt".
I have the same goals as you (find the stuff I want, pay for it, and get out), but that's why I seek out the salespeople!
I feel that assistants aren't really there to help me; they're there to maximize profits for their employer.
Help me find these employees! I joke, but seriously - I usually get great recommendations from the staff, often brutally honest. I find people don't give flippant recommendations, as its a reflection of themselves.
I went to Sears two days ago for a brake inspection. The guy quoted $700. He pulled me off to the side and said, 'buy the parts for $100 and we will charge $300 for labor. Quote around for better prices, or you might be able to do the labor yourself, so, give that a try too and just bring it in if all else fails.' My memorial day weekend is going to consist of attempting these repairs, but thanks to him, I may become a man this weekend.
(No, brakes are not my first repair. Most of my repairs have been in the car, electrical, hoses, injection, dropping the fuel tank, etc. I have always stayed away from tires/suspension and usually paid the hefty fees. Thanks for the _valid_ concern!)
Your "become a man" quip worries me just a bit. I'm going to assume that this isn't your first automotive repair. If it is, please don't start with brakes. Changing pads and rotors (I assume rotor because of the $700 quote) isn't hard, and there isn't much to screw up. But if you do screw up, there isn't much leeway. In other words, getting it wrong isn't a "oh, I'll have to fix that next weekend" moment. It's a "oh, my, "I only have rear brakes/why is my front wheel locked up/oops, should have tightened those lug nuts" moment.
But if you know a 9/16" box end from a 10mm socket, then have fun and give it the same attention to detail that you would an important piece of coding.
This is kind of off-topic, but if all you're doing is replacing pads and rotors, you can do that yourself pretty easily. If you're doing anything that requires you to remove brake lines (and subsequently bleed them), take it to someone who knows what they're doing. It's easy enough to screw up, and air in the lines is a dangerous thing.
Get a service manual if you can (Haynes is kind of the gold standard here). It'll walk you through, step-by-step, whatever it is you're trying to do.
As a non-commissioned retail salesperson in a previous life, giving honest and helpful recommendations and trying not to annoy people that don't need help, was the only pride to be found in that work.
Not everybody is an introvert, and some people do want help but are too afraid to ask. Although I suspect that for each of those there are three people that would just like to shop on their own.
It's also important to note people can often give the wrong signals. Wearing a baggy coat and making sideways glance at the staff because you're worried they may come over may flag you as a shoplifter and attract their attention.
I don't normally want any assistance, except when I do, and then I do. The generic phrases "Can I help you?" or "Can I help you find something?" are perfectly fine, contrary to the article. These are standard prompts to which I give standard replies.
Much, much worse is "Are you after pants or tops today?" which is the worst kind of sleazeball sales opener. Now I'm on guard, preparing to either fend off a hard sell or make a break for the exit.
"which is the worst kind of sleazeball sales opener."
This, exactly. In the US, car dealers have a pretty poor reputation, because people generally believe that the salespeople are especially trained to trick/beguile/confuse shoppers, in order to maximize the dealers profit. In turn, I think many people dread buying a car from a dealer.
Do you really want people to view your operation in the same light as a car dealer?
When I'm in a store, 99% of the time I have done my research well in advance (probably online) and made my decision - I'm in the store simply because I prefer seeing the item in person before buying it. I may ask the store attendant where something is, but that's as far as my interaction with them will go.
I actually like shopping, but I hate most salespeople that do this for a simple reason: 99% of them are clueless, don't have particularly good taste, and are are far more interested in goading me into a quick sale than actually helping me.
"May I help you?" is annoying enough, but "Are you looking for pants or tops today?" is a huge red flag, because it's no less generic in fact, and sounds like a cynical attempt to weasel around a customer's instinctive reaction ("No thank you") to the first question, and make it harder for them to quickly disengage.
There are clueful, tasteful, and truly helpful salespeople out there, but in my experience, they almost always have the tact and judgment to read body language and just let you browse until it's clear you really want assistance. If they do say something they're careful to use a light touch, and make it easy for the customer to quickly demur; they certainly don't use linguistic tricks like the article advocates in order to trap the customer into "engagement."
The only salesperson that sticks out in my memory as being truly helpful worked in a store that sold sunglasses. I had been standing there for a few minutes trying on different pairs of aviator style sunglasses when she spotted me, stared at my face for a couple seconds, went and grabbed a pair out of a case, and asked me to try them on.
They looked awesome.
They cost more than I had planned on spending, but I bought them. No pressure from the salesperson.
I always feel that if I answer "yes" to "can I help you?" it implies that was just randomly bumbling around the shop like a lost idiot, too incompetent even to ask for help.
This happens to me constantly. I aimlessly wander around the store muttering to myself, "Doesn't anyone work here???" Especially prevalent in big-box situations. Ordinarily, I am delighted when I am approached by an actual human being.
Maybe I'm a minority (though not in here, I'm sure) as I'm a bit of an introvert but I strongly prefer to browse on my own. Whenever I am asked something "clever" like suggested in the article, I get annoyed because I feel like I'm being manipulated.
The worst is salespeople who ask questions, but don't actually know their product any better than I do. Car salesmen almost always fall into this category. Same thing at most of the big-box retailers (Best Buy, Target, etc).
But, if a salesperson actually knows their stuff and wants to help, I'm usually quite happy to let them. The local Nordstrom (department store) is good at this. As is the local bicycle shop.
It really comes down to selling an experience as well as a consumer product. I'll happily pay a bit of a premium for a good shopping experience.
This is one of the reasons online shopping is so successful. I have never enjoyed being asked questions by employees when I enter a store. I go in with something in mind (or just to browse to kill time) and get out with or without my product.
I actually had just this experience last week when I went shopping for jeans. Instead of asking me that dreaded first question (to which my response is invariably no), she simply pointed me to men's jeans, asked me my size, asked what kind of style I was looking for (X or Y), and picked out a few pairs for me to try on.
It was great. From a business point of view, I didn't spend any more than I'd intended, but I finished quicker and left with a positive impression.
How to annoy your shoppers by coercively distracting their attention.
A good steward wants to serve the customer, either by engaging them or not, as the customer prefers. A bad steward wants to engage the customer whether they want to or not. A really bad steward thinks the customer is too stupid to notice their coercive attempts at the latter.
Working in a grocery store is different. Usually, the response is is "Where on this shelf is the BrandX Turkey Sausage Gravy packet?"
(Of course, an old grocery retail tradition is to "reset" the store -- moving sections around and moving products around within sections, to increase the time customers spend in their local store. I wonder when this practice will become common for website portals like Yahoo, to increase the time spent on the page with ads?)
We always say no because, at least for me, it's pretty rare that I actually need help. I am, in general, capable of following signs and locating where in the store I need to be. Maybe I'll have to ask where they put the widgets, because it turns out they're in sporting goods instead of tools as I'd thought.
But now, assume I'm shopping for clothes. This 19-year-old girl doesn't know me, she doesn't know what kind of clothes I wear beyond what I currently have on. She doesn't know what kind of price range I'm looking at, or even what particular clothes I'm currently looking for. I could stand there and relate all these things, at which point she can point at shirts ("how about this one?") until we find one I like... or maybe I can just go look at the shirts myself?
If I'm in Radio Shack trying to pick up a transistor, there's almost no chance the kid behind the counter can help me. He just wants to sell me a cellphone. He might not even be aware that the store stocks electronics components, much less what a transistor looks like. Any real help will have to come from the Internet; I surely can't ask if these two diodes are equivalent, or if this coax cable is suitable for VHF operation, because he'll just say "yeah, I think so" and try to sell me a phone.
If I go to a car dealership, the last thing I want is to see someone walking toward me, but we all can relate to that.
About the only time I really want someone to come ask if they can help me is at a gun shop, because the things I want to see are usually locked in a glass case or hung up on the wall.
Radio Shack in the not too distant past (not sure now) had loss prevention policies that required a store employee to speak to each customer and checkup on them every so often (cannot remember the time interval).
> She doesn't know what kind of price range I'm looking at, or even what particular clothes I'm currently looking for.
I would wager she could probably make a very good guess based on which shop she works in. You don't get £10 t-shirts in a Hugo Boss shop, and you probably don't care as much about labels if you're shopping at Ross.
I'll second all the anecdotes on this page plus add that I often won't even enter stores, especially small ones, if I judge it likely there will be too many "vultures".
I don't begrudge retail workers, really - I suppose they have a job to do. But geeze I wish they'd be more intelligent about whom they bother, and when. If I have not made eye contact beyond the initial "hello", then I probably do not need or want to be "helped" and following me around proffering same just makes me feel uncomfortable.
I don't always say "no". An offer of help is fine, that double-pronged question is _really_ annoying.
We all know the salesperson is there to sell. Fine. Being manipulated into a conversation against our will is just irritating. I generally don't go back to such places.
For me it started with waiters: a good waiter can really help you figure out what to order, or what to drink.
Instead of staring at the menu for 5 minutes (while your dear friend, or wife, or parent) is right there with you, just glance at it, get a few ideas, and then ask the waiter:
"I'm pretty hungry. The chicken looks good, is it <insert feared or desired quality here: heavy, filling, too cheesy, high quality meat>?"
Or with wine: "I love jammy Zinfandels: berry berry all the way! Do you have anything like this?"
Once you start interacting with waiters in this way, you hea out into the country and go to Big Boy or whatever, and you get this surly, timid young person, and you ask your questions, and they look at you like you're from Mars.
And you realize: this person (probably very nice person), but this person has never really learned what a waiter is.
It's really about interacting with people, putting them at ease, helping them navigate the menu, allowing them to focus on the people they are with. It's far more than just accepting orders and bringing food like a robot.
Anyways: people in retail stores are also like this and you should be able to use them to find better things to buy than you otherwise would.
They can be a great help and smart people will take advantage of their help.
I almost always ask for a recommendation or tip in regards to the menu items. Good waitstaff will also enjoy helping you and take some interest in making sure you have a nice meal.
True, this won't be the case at most large chains, but I eat there only under duress anyway.
Restaurants are a slightly different situation. Once you're already in a restaurant, it's quitely unlikely that you're going to walk out without buying something. The waiter (if motivated by tips) has every reason to help you actually enjoy your food.
Salespeople, who are more commonly motivated by commission, have every reason to convince you to buy something whether or not you need it.
They do but throw away any feelings of compulsion to buy things to make the salesperson happy. And if you don't like them or find them helpful, totally just walk away or say: "Thanks for your help, but I am going to look on my own now."
It's not a personal relationship and (basic human decency aside) you have no need to please them.
But don't categorically reject all salespeople. Maybe go to better stores where there are higher quality folks at work?
It's not a matter of wanting to please someone. It's a matter of not having to deal with someone who's attempting to push the envelope of polite social interaction with a sales pitch. Even a low pressure sales pitch gets on my nerves. Not because it's going to work (quite the opposite).
I understand, sometimes they are just obnoxious and that's just not how you want to shop. I definitely see what you are saying.
I think this is why online shopping has been so successful. Amazon reviews are actually a great way of figuring out what is good and what is bad, in a totally objective way.
I've always liked the stores where the staff simply say something like:
'Hello! Let me know if you need any help finding a size.' (or other relevant offer of help depending on the shop), then leave you to get on with shopping.
I then find it much more comfortable asking for help if / when I need it, and with no pressure, compared with if it's been agressively offered and I've already turned it down, or if I've been ignored by shelf-stackers and am made to feel like I'm interupting.
'Hello! Let me know if you need any help finding a size.' (or other relevant offer of help depending on the shop), then leave you to get on with shopping.
Well said. Like many other people have already said here, most of the time I don't need any help from the store staff, and I want to just get in, get what I need, and get the f%!# out without being bothered. BUT... I get annoyed on those rare occasions when I do actually need help finding something, and the store staff can't be found, or seem aloof, inattentive, etc.
That's why I like your proposal... it doesn't seem cheesy and "salesy" and it's a declaration that "I'm here to help, IF/WHEN you need me". That's really all I want.
I'm rather introverted and I very much don't want help from employees in stores. So much so that stores lose sales from me, and I wonder how many sales across the board stores are losing.
The other day I went into an Apple store to consider getting an iPad Mini. I was immediately approached by an employee who very eagerly wanted to show me how light it is, how beautiful the screen is, etc. I told him I really just wanted to look, and he agreed and left. But I immediately left the store, because I knew he'd come back in a few minutes, which I really didn't want.
I also tend to avoid shopping at Best Buy because you get stopped by no less than three employees on each visit. I know it's company policy, but how much money are they losing to introverts and/or grumpy people?
No one is required to take a job as a professional harasser. And if you really have sympathy for the employees, then consider that the more victims fight back, the fewer people would join the profession, and wages would increase, hurting the evil owners.
Man, I'm not exactly a bleeding-heart type but even I would find that behavior on the part of the customer rude.
You know a better way to "hurt the evil owners"? Just don't go to that store at all. But asking a customer a question is not a crime (unlike your Nuremberg analogy), these "victims" chose to walk into the store (unlike Nuremberg again), and being needlessly rude is needless, not required.
I've seen something new and excitingly terrible in both Sears and Home Depot recently. They have dedicated sales people whose sole job is to approach customers and try to sell them on credit cards or kitchen remodels or whatever high profit thing they are pushing at the time. They presumably work on commission based on the hard sell and they have no knowledge like the real salespeople.
They're basically training people to say "No" to people who approach them in stores. Very short-sighted.
>Third – don’t feel guilty or pushy doing it. People wouldn’t (especially men) enter a store just for the sake of it, they want help.
That made me laugh. I usually go into clothing stores exactly just for the sake of it - I like fashion, only buy when I see something special and never know what I'm looking for. Women's fashion is far more varied of course - my male friends are always dismayed that they don't have more choice but I wonder back: would you wear unique designs the way women will, if they were offered?
Back to the question: I'll invariably refuse help unless I am absolutely looking for something specific, which case I'll seek out a staff member immediately and bother them to tell me if they have it so I don't waste my time in their shop looking.
I wish the retail business model was more focused on making me leave their establish happy and satisfied than having made a purchase. Try to understand what I actually want, not how you can extract money out of me.
Some people don't like being approached at all and will almost literally run off the moment you go near them. They might buy, but only if you don't hassle them.
Some people want you to approach them, but don't want to engage in a cushy conversation, they know why they are there and what they want, they are genuinely just looking and you're distracting them, but they want to know you are there incase you have a question.
Some people who do want to be sold on your sales banter, after all, that's why they entered your shop.
What awful advice. I prefer someone to ask me "Can I help you?" If I need help I'll tell him, if I don't right now I'll tell him. Cornering me like that with a two choice question would just provoke me to rudely answering "I'll let you know when I need help".
I worked computer retail for a bit over 3 years and I think the best opening line was always "hello" or "good morning/afternoon/evening", with a by "welcome to [store]".
The best follow-up was to not only look busy but be busy. Stocking shelves or merchandising was always effective. People who want help but are shy about it always seem willing to spontaneously talk with employees who are busy doing something... it's a strange concept.
"Are you looking for pants or tops" is assumptive and manipulative. Remember this chestnut from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4795139 : "Which one are you most impressed by?" How about neither, you swarmy ass?
> The best follow-up was to not only look busy but be busy. Stocking shelves or merchandising was always effective. People who want help but are shy about it always seem willing to spontaneously talk with employees who are busy doing something... it's a strange concept.
Retail employees don't generally stand around idle -- they always look like they're either doing something, or going somewhere. It's easier to interrupt 'doing something', because at least you know what they're doing.
I worked in retail for a few years and the approach I always took was to say hello or make eye contact and smile. That way if the customer needs help they know you are there but they dont feel harassed.
88 comments
[ 2.7 ms ] story [ 163 ms ] threadI have occasionally had good experiences talking to sales types at retail places (including just a couple days ago) but normally if they get persistent I just end up ducking out and getting what I want from Amazon.
I have some friends working in stores who quit their jobs because they were forced to sell nonsense stuff in addition to products :-/ Pushes me in the Amazon direction, too...
I prefer to engage with others as little when I enter a store. I want to find the stuff I want, pay for it, and get out. I'm even willing to spend twice as much time (or more) looking for what I want than I would have if I have go engage with a store assistant.
I'm not exactly socially awkward, either. I just hate shopping. I find stores quite adversarial. I feel that assistants aren't really there to help me; they're there to maximize profits for their employer. I prefer to make a buying decision without the time pressure I feel if I'm being helped. If I'm told "you look great in that" I am unable to figure out if it's really suitable for me, or if the assistant just wants to make a sale, or if the assistant hasn't been able to judge me accurately.
My answer to “Are you after pants or tops today?” will always be “I'm just looking; thanks.”
* winter over-shirt
* shirt with integrated hat
Which is just to say that your experience/reaction isn't invalid in any way, but it doesn't mean that the OP can't still be good advice.
My experience in New York City last year led me to be buying less than I would if just left alone to browse. Even when I said I'm just looking the assistants wouldn't leave me alone. Presumably they're on commission.
Here' some advice - just leave me alone and be available if I have questions. Don't second guess me.
I mean, I might buy something if it really jumps out at me but I'm probably not thinking specifically in terms of "pants or shirt".
I feel that assistants aren't really there to help me; they're there to maximize profits for their employer.
Help me find these employees! I joke, but seriously - I usually get great recommendations from the staff, often brutally honest. I find people don't give flippant recommendations, as its a reflection of themselves.
(No, brakes are not my first repair. Most of my repairs have been in the car, electrical, hoses, injection, dropping the fuel tank, etc. I have always stayed away from tires/suspension and usually paid the hefty fees. Thanks for the _valid_ concern!)
But if you know a 9/16" box end from a 10mm socket, then have fun and give it the same attention to detail that you would an important piece of coding.
Get a service manual if you can (Haynes is kind of the gold standard here). It'll walk you through, step-by-step, whatever it is you're trying to do.
Not everybody is an introvert, and some people do want help but are too afraid to ask. Although I suspect that for each of those there are three people that would just like to shop on their own.
It's also important to note people can often give the wrong signals. Wearing a baggy coat and making sideways glance at the staff because you're worried they may come over may flag you as a shoplifter and attract their attention.
Much, much worse is "Are you after pants or tops today?" which is the worst kind of sleazeball sales opener. Now I'm on guard, preparing to either fend off a hard sell or make a break for the exit.
This, exactly. In the US, car dealers have a pretty poor reputation, because people generally believe that the salespeople are especially trained to trick/beguile/confuse shoppers, in order to maximize the dealers profit. In turn, I think many people dread buying a car from a dealer.
Do you really want people to view your operation in the same light as a car dealer?
"Can I help you?" "Nope. Just looking..." "OK. Just let me know if you need any assistance."
Perfect. I have help if I need it. If I was initially too shy to ask, the door was opened for me. No pressure.
Of course we're talking typical retail, set up for self service. This model doesn't always apply, and you shouldn't blindly apply it.
"May I help you?" is annoying enough, but "Are you looking for pants or tops today?" is a huge red flag, because it's no less generic in fact, and sounds like a cynical attempt to weasel around a customer's instinctive reaction ("No thank you") to the first question, and make it harder for them to quickly disengage.
There are clueful, tasteful, and truly helpful salespeople out there, but in my experience, they almost always have the tact and judgment to read body language and just let you browse until it's clear you really want assistance. If they do say something they're careful to use a light touch, and make it easy for the customer to quickly demur; they certainly don't use linguistic tricks like the article advocates in order to trap the customer into "engagement."
They looked awesome.
They cost more than I had planned on spending, but I bought them. No pressure from the salesperson.
The worst is salespeople who ask questions, but don't actually know their product any better than I do. Car salesmen almost always fall into this category. Same thing at most of the big-box retailers (Best Buy, Target, etc).
But, if a salesperson actually knows their stuff and wants to help, I'm usually quite happy to let them. The local Nordstrom (department store) is good at this. As is the local bicycle shop.
It really comes down to selling an experience as well as a consumer product. I'll happily pay a bit of a premium for a good shopping experience.
http://www.opencart.com/index.php?route=extension/extension&...
It was great. From a business point of view, I didn't spend any more than I'd intended, but I finished quicker and left with a positive impression.
A good steward wants to serve the customer, either by engaging them or not, as the customer prefers. A bad steward wants to engage the customer whether they want to or not. A really bad steward thinks the customer is too stupid to notice their coercive attempts at the latter.
(Of course, an old grocery retail tradition is to "reset" the store -- moving sections around and moving products around within sections, to increase the time customers spend in their local store. I wonder when this practice will become common for website portals like Yahoo, to increase the time spent on the page with ads?)
But now, assume I'm shopping for clothes. This 19-year-old girl doesn't know me, she doesn't know what kind of clothes I wear beyond what I currently have on. She doesn't know what kind of price range I'm looking at, or even what particular clothes I'm currently looking for. I could stand there and relate all these things, at which point she can point at shirts ("how about this one?") until we find one I like... or maybe I can just go look at the shirts myself?
If I'm in Radio Shack trying to pick up a transistor, there's almost no chance the kid behind the counter can help me. He just wants to sell me a cellphone. He might not even be aware that the store stocks electronics components, much less what a transistor looks like. Any real help will have to come from the Internet; I surely can't ask if these two diodes are equivalent, or if this coax cable is suitable for VHF operation, because he'll just say "yeah, I think so" and try to sell me a phone.
If I go to a car dealership, the last thing I want is to see someone walking toward me, but we all can relate to that.
About the only time I really want someone to come ask if they can help me is at a gun shop, because the things I want to see are usually locked in a glass case or hung up on the wall.
I would wager she could probably make a very good guess based on which shop she works in. You don't get £10 t-shirts in a Hugo Boss shop, and you probably don't care as much about labels if you're shopping at Ross.
I don't begrudge retail workers, really - I suppose they have a job to do. But geeze I wish they'd be more intelligent about whom they bother, and when. If I have not made eye contact beyond the initial "hello", then I probably do not need or want to be "helped" and following me around proffering same just makes me feel uncomfortable.
We all know the salesperson is there to sell. Fine. Being manipulated into a conversation against our will is just irritating. I generally don't go back to such places.
Instead of staring at the menu for 5 minutes (while your dear friend, or wife, or parent) is right there with you, just glance at it, get a few ideas, and then ask the waiter:
"I'm pretty hungry. The chicken looks good, is it <insert feared or desired quality here: heavy, filling, too cheesy, high quality meat>?"
Or with wine: "I love jammy Zinfandels: berry berry all the way! Do you have anything like this?"
Once you start interacting with waiters in this way, you hea out into the country and go to Big Boy or whatever, and you get this surly, timid young person, and you ask your questions, and they look at you like you're from Mars.
And you realize: this person (probably very nice person), but this person has never really learned what a waiter is.
It's really about interacting with people, putting them at ease, helping them navigate the menu, allowing them to focus on the people they are with. It's far more than just accepting orders and bringing food like a robot.
Anyways: people in retail stores are also like this and you should be able to use them to find better things to buy than you otherwise would.
They can be a great help and smart people will take advantage of their help.
I almost always ask for a recommendation or tip in regards to the menu items. Good waitstaff will also enjoy helping you and take some interest in making sure you have a nice meal.
True, this won't be the case at most large chains, but I eat there only under duress anyway.
Salespeople, who are more commonly motivated by commission, have every reason to convince you to buy something whether or not you need it.
It's not a personal relationship and (basic human decency aside) you have no need to please them.
But don't categorically reject all salespeople. Maybe go to better stores where there are higher quality folks at work?
I think this is why online shopping has been so successful. Amazon reviews are actually a great way of figuring out what is good and what is bad, in a totally objective way.
You don't have offend or say yes or no to anyone.
'Hello! Let me know if you need any help finding a size.' (or other relevant offer of help depending on the shop), then leave you to get on with shopping.
I then find it much more comfortable asking for help if / when I need it, and with no pressure, compared with if it's been agressively offered and I've already turned it down, or if I've been ignored by shelf-stackers and am made to feel like I'm interupting.
Well said. Like many other people have already said here, most of the time I don't need any help from the store staff, and I want to just get in, get what I need, and get the f%!# out without being bothered. BUT... I get annoyed on those rare occasions when I do actually need help finding something, and the store staff can't be found, or seem aloof, inattentive, etc.
That's why I like your proposal... it doesn't seem cheesy and "salesy" and it's a declaration that "I'm here to help, IF/WHEN you need me". That's really all I want.
The other day I went into an Apple store to consider getting an iPad Mini. I was immediately approached by an employee who very eagerly wanted to show me how light it is, how beautiful the screen is, etc. I told him I really just wanted to look, and he agreed and left. But I immediately left the store, because I knew he'd come back in a few minutes, which I really didn't want.
I also tend to avoid shopping at Best Buy because you get stopped by no less than three employees on each visit. I know it's company policy, but how much money are they losing to introverts and/or grumpy people?
No one is required to take a job as a professional harasser. And if you really have sympathy for the employees, then consider that the more victims fight back, the fewer people would join the profession, and wages would increase, hurting the evil owners.
You know a better way to "hurt the evil owners"? Just don't go to that store at all. But asking a customer a question is not a crime (unlike your Nuremberg analogy), these "victims" chose to walk into the store (unlike Nuremberg again), and being needlessly rude is needless, not required.
They're basically training people to say "No" to people who approach them in stores. Very short-sighted.
That made me laugh. I usually go into clothing stores exactly just for the sake of it - I like fashion, only buy when I see something special and never know what I'm looking for. Women's fashion is far more varied of course - my male friends are always dismayed that they don't have more choice but I wonder back: would you wear unique designs the way women will, if they were offered?
Back to the question: I'll invariably refuse help unless I am absolutely looking for something specific, which case I'll seek out a staff member immediately and bother them to tell me if they have it so I don't waste my time in their shop looking.
Some people don't like being approached at all and will almost literally run off the moment you go near them. They might buy, but only if you don't hassle them.
Some people want you to approach them, but don't want to engage in a cushy conversation, they know why they are there and what they want, they are genuinely just looking and you're distracting them, but they want to know you are there incase you have a question.
Some people who do want to be sold on your sales banter, after all, that's why they entered your shop.
The best follow-up was to not only look busy but be busy. Stocking shelves or merchandising was always effective. People who want help but are shy about it always seem willing to spontaneously talk with employees who are busy doing something... it's a strange concept.
"Are you looking for pants or tops" is assumptive and manipulative. Remember this chestnut from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4795139 : "Which one are you most impressed by?" How about neither, you swarmy ass?
Retail employees don't generally stand around idle -- they always look like they're either doing something, or going somewhere. It's easier to interrupt 'doing something', because at least you know what they're doing.