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Ask HN: Moving to a New City

25 points by bkrausz ↗ HN
I'll be graduating college in a few weeks. I'm lucky to have a great job, a great apartment right in the middle of downtown Cambridge, and a few friends who will be spending their summer in the Boston area, so hopefully the transition won't be too hard.

However, I'm still mildly worried about finding things to do, meeting new people, etc. I'm a fairly social person, but I've had the luxury of being around people my own age on a daily basis for most of my life, and now I'll be the youngest guy at my job by a number of years. I'm not saying that I won't be able to hang out with my coworkers, but when most of them have kids it may be hard to connect on a personal level.

So my question to HN is what advice do you guys have on finding a new circle of people, both in the personal and professional sense, especially after moving somewhere new. Also, if you happen to be from Boston I wouldn't object to specific recommendations ;-).

Thanks!

21 comments

[ 2.6 ms ] story [ 39.5 ms ] thread
octane
Drink booze. But not too much. Sort of like college, but with limits.
bkrausz
I was actually considering picking up tending bar at nights if I get bored enough (I'm licensed), but I'll wait until I see how beat I am after work.
menloparkbum
If you bartend at River Gods or the B-Side you'll have no excuse for not being booked for dates.

It's pretty easy to be social in Cambridge. There's tons of bars, clubs, meetups and so forth. Out of curiosity, where is "downtown" Cambridge? Central Square?

spitfire
Get out of your comfort zone. I assume you're a nerd, so take dance lessons, or get into boating (community boating on the charles), get beyond your comfort zone. You'll meet new people, expand your horizons and change your perspective on things.
TimMontague
The most important thing is getting out and doing things. Start small with 1 or 2 activities a couple of times a week, then as you start meeting people, see what other things they do.

Another tip is to meet your neighbors. As soon as you move in, walk around and knock on a couple of doors. It's always nice to know the people you live near and the best time to meet them is right after you move in.

noodle
take up a hobby. figure out something you've wanted to do for a while and go do it, take a class and stuff. martial arts is the common example i use. puts you in a mixed gender class setting and has the potential to keep you in shape.
rms
The advice to get out of your comfort zone is good, but for staying solidly within your comfort zone OKCupid is the best (and by that I mean has more attractive people than PlentyofFish) free online dating site for the younger crowd.
inerte
As someone who has changed jobs twice in the last year, here's my tip: There're few reasons to worry.

One thing that'll happen eventually is talk about work. And any talk is good to open new paths of conversation. Someone complaining about the boss? Tell a personal history, filled with baits.

- Oh, I was working in city XXX when I was XXX years old, and got late because of XXX and my car XXX, and this really cool girl with XXX qualities saw me entering the building, and she said XXX but...

And these XXX will say something about your personality, and it's a hook to let the other person say something, family close to XXX, when their car also XXX, and how they like girls with XXX, and how Alice from accounting has these qualities, and Bob from Legal tried once to ask her out, etc...

I don't want to teach you how to socialize, but on a new job you might want to speed up the process.

Also, remember that old people with kids once were your age too. And you're going to be who they are, sometime in the future.

I have a boss, 40-something, with 2 kids. You would not believe the stories that he tell me about his past. He has 3 scars from knife fights, a part of his head where hair doesn't grow because someone hit him with a bat when he was with two girls in a bar, and so many others... now he's a PMI/ITIL/Scrum certified type of person, but also a god-like in Linux administration, who actually plugged the first server into the wall socket for the most successfull brazilian internet company (UOL), and I don't have any doubts he would sacrifice his life to give his children a confortable life.

Anyway, good luck, and try to have fun.

ojbyrne
Unless I'm mistaken in recognizing the name, welcome aboard ;-)
bkrausz
Haha, should've seen that one coming a mile away. Looking forward to working with you Owen :-P
ojbyrne
From what I've seen of Cambridge, it should address your fears pretty well. Plus there's plenty of young, non-child rearing people at the TA office, even in our group. Just not the programmers, we're all geezers of one degree or another.

Alas, I'm not in Boston myself, in case that wasn't clear. I'll see you in IRC/Email and in person every 2-3 months. And I apologize in advance for the Green Line. At least you're going against the flow. And it's not really my fault.

bkrausz
Haha, geezers indeed. Awesome though...when I went apartment hunting the team took me out for lunch. Great bunch of guys - I am going to have a good time. It's just a slight deviation from my norm of "tons of interns", so it will be an adjustment.

Actually I'll have a car, and I'm hoping the reverse commute plus my tendency to be a late riser (assuming the office is cool with it) will make travel ok.

bokonist
If you like sports, join a Boston Ski & Sports Club league. You can also join a gym such as Cambridge Athletic Club. It has basketball and squash leagues.

Meetup.com has dozens of different groups of all sorts of interests. Also check out the Craigslist activities and events section. Going.com has more nightlife related events.

anigbrowl
Being around people all your own age is not a luxury, it's a trap. There are vast numbers of interesting people at all ages. Just surf around and let it happen to you - unless you have clinical social phobias or suchlike it'll take care of itself. You will sometimes be bored, demotivated, or lonely. This is the normal human condition.
Femur
>You will sometimes be bored, demotivated, or lonely. This is the normal human condition.

Having just moved to a new city myself, I can fully relate to this. The parent poster very concisely states the best way to go about it. Just live. Get out and do things. Life will happen.

I started doing tango classes on a whim and it has been very fun. I go to Borders and chat with people. I walk to the store. These are simple actions but I feel great doing them.

_pius
Find friends who are recent alums of BU, BC, Harvard, MIT, Wellesley, etc. and party with them. You'll meet a ton of people your age plus some people just a year or two younger.
sown
I can see what you mean. I lived in the same town for the first couple of decades of my life. It's satisfying to know people in the town and point out who owns what building because I polished jewelry for him at his store in high school or which restaurant real estate is cursed because I've seen a dozen places go in and out since middle school.

But moving to a new town can teach you how to insinuate yourself along with a certain community (business perhaps) in a new town and know what the score is by making new connections.

access_denied
Games. All sorts of games. Boardgames, RPGs, Sports, Theater and so on. There are always game groups searching for new members and you always have the possibility to just walk away.
asmithmd1
Here is a list curated by David Nunez of Dorkbot Boston.

Upcoming Events:

* [04/24-05/10] Boston Cyberarts Festival bostoncyberarts.org

* [05/06 7PM] UX Book Club: Boston, MA Betahouse - 13 Magazine St, Cambridge, MA - 02139

* [05/07-05/08] Independent Game Conference East Boston ($) http://www.igceast.com/

* [05/08 5PM] StoryBorders project launch Cloud Place: 647 Boylston St. Boston, MA 02116 www.storyborders.org

* [05/09 8PM] Ensemble Robot Performance ($) Axiom - 141 green street, boston http://www.axiomart.org/

* [05/10 930AM] Art Salon Boston 93 forest hills st #3, jamaica plain, ma 02130 www.donnadodsonartist.blogspot.com

* [05/10 1PM] Iconography of Climate Change - Digital Silkscreen Production Workshop (r) Studio 9:43 @ The Distillery, 516 East Second Street, South Boston RSVP: i...@ikatun.org

* [05/13 6PM] Mass Innovation Nights http://massinnovationnights.com/products/announcing-may-2009...

* [05/17 9AM] Flea at MIT Albany and Main St., Cambridge, MA http://web.mit.edu/w1mx/www/swapfest

* [05/18 7PM] Boston Media Makers Drinkup http://bostonmediamakers.wordpress.com

* [05/19 7PM] Upgrade! Boston - lili + honglei Studio for Interrelated Media, Massart, 621 Huntington Avenue, Boston http://turbulence.org/upgrade/archives/05_19_09Yang.htm

* [05/21 7PM] The Boston Arduino Users Group May Meetup Somerville, MA 02144 http://www.meetup.com/The-Boston-Arduino-Users-Group/calenda...

* [05/23 7PM] The Boston Robotics May Meetup Somerville, MA 02144 http://www.meetup.com/The-Boston-Robotics-Meetup-Group/calen....

* [05/26 7PM] dorkbot-boston 200905

* [06/30 7PM] dorkbot-boston 200906 Axiom Gallery

JayNeely
Be on twitter; Boston geek events get the word out through their twitter networks most of the time. You missed the most recent BarCampBoston, but the @BarCampBoston twitter account is supposed to be announcing interesting events. @02139now is a Central Square updates account (there's a network of these for other nearby areas).

I'd go to http://www.webinnovatorsgroup.com/ when the next event happens, July 15th. It's very much a networking event, and it's been drawing huge crowds the past couple of times. Business / tech / investor mix.

Information Superhighway is a geek party that usually happens once a month. May's hasn't been announced yet, monitor Tim Hwang's upcoming feed (or network on twitter) to find out when the next will be: http://upcoming.yahoo.com/user/256314/ - 40-60 hackers / designers / academics.

I'll second the recommendation for OpenCoffee (and browsing Meetup.com in general). Every Wednesday morning at Andala coffee house. 5-20 startup folk. http://www.meetup.com/OpenCoffee-Cambridge-Meetup/

I'd check http://www.marksguide.com for other professional events, and I generally browse http://upcoming.yahoo.org for social stuff.

Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you'd like to connect.