Ask HN: someone I care for is thinking of ending his life. I can't reach him.

It's possible he just doesn't want to talk to you right now, if you've already made many attempts to contact him, leave it at that and don't escalate. You could be making him worse, even if you have good intentions.

Your friend is very young at 20, he may not realize this now, but has plenty of time to amend any past mistakes that at the moment he feels are 'unfixable'.

For the speediest recovery, he needs meds and hopefully an understanding psychiatrist that would find a way to prescribe him some without giving him a definitive/serious diagnostic that could hurt his future chances at getting a job.

It would also be good if his mother realized just how bad his current mental situation is, and that it's selfish of her to keep relying on him to continually provide for both of them. Does she not have any relatives that would take her in at least for a while, until he gets back up on his feet?

Your friend probably feels under a lot of pressure right now, and she's a part of the problem.

The best you could do for him is to support him, if he decides to keep living. There will be more jobs, as well as chances at going to college or gaining equivalent education via free Coursera, Udacity, EdX etc. courses.

He needs to start fixing his health first though.

Also, if you make any future posts about him, here or anywhere else, please try to be a little more ambiguous in order to protect his privacy as much as possible.

Get him a job.

It does not sort out his psycological problems, but after reading his post, I assume this will at least stop this from spiralling out of control and give him some peace of mind, at least for some time.

I know this is kind of an unconventional advice, but I feel like his current down is more about his life falling appart, so fixing this is the first priority, then comes takkling the depression.

With a huge mortage and no job its hard to make him view the world more optimistically.

Just my 2 cents.

PS: Is somebody here from B.C, Canada and in need of a Web-dev?

If you are concerned your friend is imminently planning suicide, you can call the police (look up the non emergency phone number) and ask them to do a "wellness check". My wife had a coworker who hadn't been heard from for a day so two women from the office had a wellness check done with the police and they found the coworker incapacitated in his home. See: http://www.ehow.com/facts_5823955_police-welfare-check_.html

also, depending on the circumstances and your local state laws, you can have your friend involuntarily committed for observation to a psychiatric facility, but a judge will likely have to be involved. To me, the Facebook post would be enough to seriously consider both of these options. (my wife is a social worker)

these may seem a bit extreme, but they are there for your friends protection. Its better to possibly lose your friendship and him live then having him end his life.

I hope this helps the immediate time being

For the first time I know what fear is, my physical strength cannot hold up anymore and I have to sleep, yet all that going through my head is all the possible scenarios that could happen. Had a dream that everything turned out to be okay, woke up at 4am out of excitement, checked phone/messages, still no response. Then realize it was just a dream, and burst in tears again. Going through every corner on the internet to find the smallest trace that he's still okay.. for the first time when people asked me if everything's alright, i responded "no". I have no idea how I can possibly focus on work and normal life today without going through a mental breakdown.

This is too serious an issue to rely on message board feedback for. You should know that many of the resources available to suicidal people are also available to their friends; find a hotline, call, and get advice; follow up with any resources they give you. Get professional help as soon as you can.

Call 911

(or your country's equivalent)