HN Explorer

Ask HN: what on earth have I just done...

3 points by oliv9286 ↗ HN
Yesterday, i posted this https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6125939 on HN in response to my friend's suicidal note.

Today, I finally got a message response from him this evening. Yet the intention of the message was asking me to forget him, so that it makes it easier for him to take his way out.. I lost my mind the moment he said that, panicking, thinking about all the possible ways I can just so he doesn't hurt himself. At the end, I had absolutely no other way, I called 911. And the police did end up finding to his apartment, only to tell me that he said he doesn't know me, and he's doing OK.

Of course, he did not wish anyone in real life to find out about his suicidal thoughts, especially not the police. He got mad at me, so mad that he said if I ever try to contact him again, he will file a harassment report against me.

Even after all these madness, I still can't make sure his safety, and broke our friendship. I feel so hopeless right now, my whole world is blank, I have no idea what I can to do ask for his forgiveness, I still lost him at the end, one way or another.

6 comments

[ 12.1 ms ] story [ 33.2 ms ] thread
stopairing
For one, you can stop airing your dirty laundry on HN. Would downvote if I could.
hardwaresofton
That's a little harsh, what's one or two or three posts about someone struggling with a real problem? What would have been in the place of this article that would have changed your life so much that you feel like you've had something taken away from you by having to see this post?

Calm down guy.

hardwaresofton
Reading just a tiny bit into what has happened - If you've done what you feel like you can, and he/she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, why not try and find him/her a job?

At least temporally, the easiest addressed problem is the unemployment. Talk to people you know, pull any strings you can, and try and get him/her an interview or a job -- that will easily show how much you care, and maybe you can THEN verbally say how much you care.

mariusz331
This situation sucks. I think the most important thing you can do for him is just leave him alone but with some encouraging thoughts. Send him a text saying you'll be there for him when he feels ready to reach out. You can get out of almost any crappy situation at age 20. You just need to take a step back and look at it objectively.
heygiraffe
Wow, this hits awfully close to home. A few quick thoughts:

- Calling 911 was the right thing to do. Never doubt it.

- Loving a suicidal person might just be the most frustrating thing there is. It isn't just you.

- Please keep us posted, at least for a little while. Forget the negative comments. This won't make the front page, I imagine, so no one has to read it who doesn't want to.

oliv9286
thank you for taking your time to read this post my friends. I wouldn't be surprised if it was him, making that throwaway account just to post a negative comment. But anyway, I think I have the need to see a psychiatrist, I've never felt this low/depressed in my life, I'm feeling extremely stressed emotionally and physically. There are a million "what if i have done xxx instead"s going around my head, unstopping feeling of guilt and regrets floating around. I'm afraid I might end up having depression myself. Regarding his unemployment, I tried to show him job posts before, told him companies that I know. But after all, I'm not like him. I'm just another average 20 y/o going through college, I don't nearly have as much connections in the field as he does. Yes loving a suicidal person is frustrating, yet I can't pull myself out of it. I can't even talk about the problems to friends in real life, all because I made a promise to him I won't be telling others his secrets. If any other of you reading this feel that I'm "airing my dirty laundry", I'm sorry for taking up this space, I have nowhere else to go.