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This is so outrageous that I can't even laugh at it...
> Dog the Bounty Hunter in pursuit of Edward Snowden

Correction: s/Edward Snowden/unearned publicity/

Quote: "Dog the Bounty Hunter, or Duane Chapman, held a press conference to announce his plans to enter Russia and illegally capture Edward Snowden."

Surreptitiously?

"A dog of the NSA!"