Ask HN: I'm Tired of Hacking. What Do I Do? Please Advise.
I have been developing web apps for almost 8 years now. I worked at agencies, development shops, I freelanced, I was CTO of an startup, had the six figure salary, etc. I just can't do it anymore. I hate sitting on my ass all day writing some code. My neck has been hurting for two years for spending so many hours in front of the computer. I kind of have been hating my career for a couple of years now and I have no clue about what I should do. I'm in my late 20's and I don't have a lot in savings left (six months of living costs at the most). I quit my job last year to work on a webapp of my own. I finished about 50% of it and haven't been working on it since. I got some freelance web maintenance work just to help cover some of my bills I get paid monthly and it's really easy stuff but I find it very boring as well and I wish I didn't have to spend any time working on it. I'm not lazy I just got tired of writing code and this industry in general. I always delivered the best work. In all of my previous jobs and was usually the best developer, engineer, etc.
Has anything like this happened to any of you?
What do you recommend I do?
120 comments
[ 3.6 ms ] story [ 140 ms ] threadAlso, read some books? The 4 hour work week comes immediately to mind. You haven't defined success for YOUR life yet, it seems to me.
I think that the measure of success is something that has to be discovered, rather than defined. It's not as though people are able to choose what they want- all they can choose is how to best go about it.
Reading is a good idea, though, just not professional books (or not in particular). There's a lot of interesting stuff around if you look a bit.
That said, from my experience, I wouldn't expect to ever have an immediate, deep psychological turn around in response to any particular change, even a radical one - it always takes time. But change is key.
Some common wisdom: It's easy to be scared of change - often easier to deal with a bad situation - not even really realize it's that bad - than face the unknown. But the unknown is almost always not as bad as you think.
Everyone needs their 2-years of fucking around backpacking before they hit 30. I am just coming back from mine; 20 countries in 2 years and stories for a life time. Cost me less than 10k a year to live like that.
Cheers!
I'm curious. 1) Did you bring your own netbook/laptop along and 2) How well are you handling your "re-entry" (e.g. hanging out with friends who knew you pre-travel)?
In countries where I have "based" myself, anything more than 4 weeks; the laptop has been a good useful distraction. When you're shocked by a local culture which you have to deal with for extended survival (anything more substantial than a western-style hotel and continental breakfast) you will end up missing speaking your familiar language, eating familiar foods, or just walking outside without a guide at hand (printed or in-flesh.) Also there is that strong sense of alienation when everybody around you is looking at you, even you have been with them for weeks. In these times, firing up your slackware box and seeing what you used to work on in more homely times is a good psychological aid.
Cameras I didn't like. I hated being looked at and treated as a "foreigner", and I feel like I am doing the same when I point a lens at a "local" person, building or artifact. It felt like I was capturing their soul to take back home with me as a novelty. I have no photos of my travels, but I have friends. Hundreds of good friends from all walks of life; fishermen, priests, pimps, students, political activists, drug traffickers, aid workers, moms, bicycle repairmen, white-house staffers, journalists you name them.
Coming back was hard. I have lost 80lbs and came back with more street-sense than I could imagine. When I landed at Dulles Airport I had $60 to my name and I had the photo of a new girlfriend in my wallet. None of my family or friends had the time to give me a ride home, so I took the bus, for the first time in the U.S. Before then I have taken the bus a few times on nights-out when I knew I wouldn't be fit to drive. This time it was just what I was used to do. My instincts where different; I took a window seat in the way back that was close to an exit door. Something that you do when traveling in dangerous places (you don't sit in the front, or police and bandits will pull over the bus and shake you up for bribes; and you don't sit sandwitched between two locals, unable to escape.)
I also came back with 2pack a day cigarette habit. Hi alcohol tolerance. A very unprofessional appearance. An appetite for anything served to me on a plate. A habit of carrying a bag with basic survival necessities. Indifference to crashing anywhere. Hitching rides with total strangers. And finally, a weird ability to connect with people in the underworld.
My first few gigs have been freelancing gigs doing anything and everything. It took my girlfriend the last few months polishing up back to shape; I don't think I would have come back if it wasn't for her, actually. I have seen many long-time Western expats dying in local hospitals of controllable diseases; the ex-military Americans are most prone to this. Diabetes, high-blood pressure, liver problems; I have pitch in $5 donations to so many expats in hospitals I didn't want to be one of them.
Allot of stuff, most of it unfit to print.
http://www.meetup.com/Hacker-News-NOVA-DC/
Get on board if you live in the DC metro area.
Two gold rings and a necklace, not worn, but secreted in your boots will get you out of allot of trouble, at least until that unexpected national/religious/regional holiday you never expected finishes, or perhaps the riot dies down, and the banks/embassies open. Sometimes government and banking offices will be wide open but you cannot get your paperwork done for DAYS, and you will quickly run out of money, and starve at that shitty border town.
coz o/w it's just an added weight -- well in your case it's maybe for appearance so it's a good investment/insurance
some people do hide gold in their teeth, might be interesting if that's your thing
Only boring stuff is unfit to print. You should write a book, or at least a blog. Seriously.
I'm reminded of that Goethe quote about how people's personalities are made up of a desire for a combination of love, adventure, power and fame. Reading this comment makes me feel like the "adventure" component has been neglected in my own life :(
You mean to stay you would have stayed abroad? Am little confused as you start talking about expats dying of preventable diseases immediately afterwords
Yyyyyeah, nice try. My new girlfriend with a woman's common-sense was quick to point out to me the danger I was in. I had dabbled in business with the locals and I might have taken a side in a neighborhood civil-war that was going back for decades. It would have taken a $20 bribe from someone to pin some contraband on me and send me off to Hanoi Hilton for good.
etc, etc.
[Edited for better communication]
REPLY: Ah, so then in a sense, it isn't safe. It would be awful to go out the way you did but remain a tourist. :)
Every job I ever got was because I gate crashed, usually at a pub or cocktail party. Whenever I talk to someone who I feel like we can work together, I just ask them about their business/project and put myself in their shoes. The great majority of the time I would "not hire myself", because I know I am unfit to help them. But if I know I am the one, I usually take charge; I first restate the problem, explain my understanding of where they are and where they need to be, then tell them "what we need to do to get there". This is the same way I recruit friends for other friends as well.
Do not live your life based on the opinions of future employers.
Please, do anything but. There is a large, large world out there that you should do your best to experience.
Only things that can happen are that you become happy for you new job, or you fall back in love with programming.
Another option: I know an illustrator who was getting tired of the endless line of demanding clients wanting the same old work, so she decided to spice it up by taking internships one week of every month. She tries to make the internships as different as possible, examples being a baker, a clothing shop, some print/dtp shop, etc.
Maybe that could be a less radical way of getting some fresh perspective.
Is is possible that you feel crappy and are blaming your work environment?
I've been sitting in front of a computer for 30 years and my neck never hurts. In fact, nothing does.
No matter what you decide, you must take care of yourself. If you don't feel well, you won't be happy doing anything. There are many references on the web on what to do, some excellent and some horrible. I'd be happy to share what I do to feel great if anyone is interested.
I have scoliosis and I've tried everything for sore back and neck. Nothing has worked as well as the 5 Rites every morning before breakfast. I think #3 has helped me the most, but who knows. I'll leave the secret with the ancients. I do these every day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Tibetan_Rites
In addition to that, the usual:
- get my heart rate into the training zone (140 to 170 BPM) for 30-40 minutes 3 to 6 times per week (jogging, stairs)
- heavyhands
- shovelglove http://www.shovelglove.com/
- chin-ups, pushups, dips
- Hindu squats http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuyAdr4RKsY Do 500 of these every day and you'll be in the best shape of your life
That's it. I don't spend much money, but I do something every day.
Eating:
This is more (un)common sense that anything else. My 2 favorites:
http://www.soilandhealth.org/02/0201hyglibcat/020121horne/02...
http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Live-Revolutionary-Formula-Sustain...
he didn't use any equipment. i was to sit on a chair, knee/shin next to each other. an assistant locks the knees by hugging using both hands so my body cannot move easily.
he then 'measured' my backbone and then stretched my arm, twisted my back based on his initial estimate and then do the measure-stretch-twist loop. it took him quite considerable force (he's sweating)
the whole process took about an hour and must be done in many visits (mine's 3), depending on severity
i felt better but cannot provide statistics/numbers; however, my cousin can. her father is a modern doctor who cannot believe ancient chinese methods. he took x-rays after each visit. he told me that during 2 weeks of therapy, her scoliosis improved from 40deg to 20deg.
i want to visit the chinese medical man again, it's been more than 2 years. there's no 'cure' or 'pills'. i believe if i do better pose i won't need to go visiting him again ... but i'm as uneducated as layman about correct posture so i always revert back to old problems
if you have resources on this please share. the hindu squat looks very tiring -- 500 of these in one go?
btw i'm now using stand-up desk (like a week or so) and my back, heel, ankle and toes are aching and cramping. is it to be expected especially for scoliosis guys? after feeling pain, i just sit for a while. i guess after a while i'll develop endurance
thx for the links
I second this! I've been experimenting quite a bit, and my diet and exercise patterns definitely shape my feelings about work more than the B.S. I experience per day.
All of the common health wisdom you know will incrementally help in the short term, even if it's not a long-term solution. If you're feeling irrationally irritable, stop drinking caffeine. If you're feeling tired in the afternoon, eat a light healthy lunch and get some sleep. If you're feeling sore, make sure to stretch out every morning, and make sure you're sitting up straight. Exercise always helps!
The bigger issue is that you aren't excited by what you are doing, so ... STOP IT! life's too short to be doing something you hate. I've gone back to university to get a PhD, I'm using my brain heaps and interacting with some very smart people. It's not for everyone, but if you are looking for a mental challenge, even a year long course in something that you are intrigued by might recharge your batteries.
I spent a year on "sabbatical" in my mid-20's after being laid off from another company with a great future that didn't quite get there. Best thing I have done.
Did traveling, volunteer work, odd jobs to earn extra cash.
There is nothing as refreshing as not only not knowing the date, but what day of the week it is.
a) Girlfriend b) Dog c) A hobby that doesn't involve electricity
Allow your job to become just one part of your life ... not what defines your life.
This literally made me laugh out loud with all the fond memories of the dogs I've had in my life.
When my dog wants to go out for a walk, he annoys me until I get off my ass and take him out. You can argue it out (and win!) with your wife/parents/friends when they tell you to go out, but you can't argue with a bouncing, yapping dog. My dog is the reason I take 2-3 walks a day.
Also, having him around just makes me happy :)
(See http://twitter.com/ankur_sethi/status/1942297810 and http://twitter.com/ankur_sethi/status/1938415759)
I adopted a black labrador puppy last thursday. She's 3 months old and she's pulling me outside 6 times a day! We spent 2 hours at the park today because she kept laying down on the grass during the walk home. Quite a difference from those "err i havent been outside in 3 days" scenarios.
pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pauls
I don't care how much somebody likes pizza; if they eat it for every meal of every day, they're going to hate it eventually.
It just makes life more worth living. You wake up in the morning a bit happier because your dog is smiling and wagging his tail for you to go make him food. And it gets you outside more because he has to be walked 3+ times a day which helps give you a break from work.
Edit: My dog was laying in the sun and got too warm so he walked right in front of me and just flopped over. [pic] http://ul.mikeyur.com/public/sk/photo-20090527-184014.png
When you gotta walk the dog, you have to walk the dog - no ifs and buts around it, and it got me a lot more focused on what I should be doing instead of dicking around the internet all day, too lazy to do something productive.
Alas, I'm allergic. To dogs, not girls, though given my luck with the latter, maybe it's both.
In short, turn off the computer. Find other interests. Determine your true priorities. Once you have done that, you will likely be able to come back and enjoy technology again because it will be supporting your true self, not defining your self.
Go hike the Appalachian trail all summer.
You living expenses will be food + replacement socks + fuel for your camp stove.
Four months from now, you'll be wonderfully destressed, and will have barely touched your savings.
Also useful: http://www.pmags.com/joomla/index.php/Backpacking-and-Hiking...
Last weekend we went to Matacanes near Monterrey, Mexico. It was a great trip. I went with a group of 8 hackers from work. Turns out the other 10 people in the trip were also hackers.
There's some great areas to camp around town. I usually hit up Mesquite (there's BLM land out there that practically no one knows about) and Hueco Tanks. As for extended camping and backpacking, I'd probably suggest heading out to Big Bend or the Gila.
Because, if you do, then you should probably make a list for yourself. On that list you do this:
#1: Job I don't like.
#10: Job I want.
Steps #2 through #9 should be the next N things you need to do to do whatever it is you'd rather be doing.
Software is not the only place for smart people to work, a lot of people burn out or discover that it's just the wrong career for them.
Don't force yourself to work in an industry that you don't like. You're young, and it's far better to work towards something different now instead of wasting away doing something you hate.
Fortunately for you, the world rewards smart people these days; regardless of the field. You'll do fine anywhere if you did fine in software.
personal advice: buy a synthesizer or a nice digital camera. or a bike (but you have to use it though, that part is key, my friend. key.)
professional advice: use a reasonable chunk of your vacation time and money and get out of town for a week or two, sans computer. dont stop thinking about what you want to accomplish with hacking away, just learn to prioritize thinking about it, and to be a little more clear-minded. i find walking about from something for a week both annoys the hell of out everyone around me (not so good) and gives me the presence of mind and matured sense of whats do to and how to do it that i can walk back in and, well, do it.
just find the hobbies and then find the balance.
After you have a clear image of what you want think of the type of business that would allow you to live that way.
Probably in your case you also need to fall in love.
http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=626616
Could also try moving away from CTO to a CEO type role if you want to stay in web/startups without the coding. Loads to learn, plenty of cool people to meet and very intellectually stimulating.
If you have a passport, as others have said, get the hell out of dodge. Get your shots though, you don't want to come back with broken kidneys.
Have you considered attending Hedonism II? It's a lot of fun...
It is impossible to feel frustrated while playing a banjo - FACT.