Ask HN: I need help sleeping, any suggestions?
I have been an anxiety sufferer for a few years now and things got quite bad last year so I decided to see a councillor and have CBT. This has helped me manage my anxiety on a day to day basis, and the worrying I used to suffer during the day have definitely calmed down. However, for the last 2 months I have been falling apart when I have been trying to go to sleep. I have been very at peace with myself, incredibly happy but then as soon as my head hits the pillow I get incredibly bad physical symptoms - intense chest pains, palpitations and this incredible feeling of adrenaline being pumped around my body - as though I have just been mugged or scared.
I have seen my doctor and physically everything is fine - my bloodwork is in perfect order and I am a non drinker, smoker and not in any way obese.
This is beginning to really effect me - I am getting no sleep and because I am getting no sleep my anxiety during the day is becoming worse and my work is suffering. I am struggling to keep going at the moment as I am just so exhausted. Even if I do get to sleep, I suddenly wake with the symptoms I described above.
As I say, I feel as though I am happy - good job, nice partner, nice home, no real worries to speak of but it is though my body has a phobia of going up to the bedroom to try and get some sleep.
What I desperately need, and what my councillor is not giving me, is ideas on how to: 1. Stop the pains from coming on in the first place (vary bed times, put film on in the background, meditate before bed etc). 2. When the pains do kick in, how to then manage those so they don't take over. At the moment, the first sign of a pain and I panic myself into thinking that I am going to get zero sleep.
If anyone has any advice or tips (no matter how stupid!), or reading that I can do/meditation techniques - anything - then I would be most grateful if you can share these with me. Thanks!
20 comments
[ 0.18 ms ] story [ 55.3 ms ] threadIt works PERFECTLY for me
This is a temporary fix. The long term fix would be a drastic change in lifetime. Maybe living in Paris, working 32 hours a week, 2 hour lunch break might set you on the path to recovery.
Cheers!
I used to use melatonin, worked pretty well. That was for shift work and daytime sleeping.
Does the problem persist on travel in hotels or anything?
question: Do you have trouble going to sleep, or is the trouble actually in the waking up?
advice: As someone who has trouble sleeping sometimes due to the racing mind, Sonata has worked well as a medication. It's a hypnotic, so it just helps you get to sleep - it doesn't keep you asleep. But if you can't sleep because your brain won't settle down (for whatever reason), it might be a good thing to investigate. I wind up using on a weekly to semi-weekly basis, one to three nights, until my rhythm returns.
secret: I sleep a lot better next to my spouse.
Also, at bedtime try to keep the TV and/or reading to something that's not too interesting or too boring(shopping channels/business TV helps me).
The main thing is to distract yourself away from thinking about sleep while trying to fall asleep. A hot shower or a peaceful walk may also help.
Try to maintain proper sleep hygiene.
http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/ask-the-expert/sleep-...
Assuming those basis are covered, how is your breathing/posture? Programmers especially can develop bad posture because of sitting all day. Make sure you don't slouch when you sit. Here is something to try - when you feel anxiety coming, immediately stand still, straighten your back, slow down your breathing taking normal size breaths (don't deep breath, just breath normally) and clear your mind for 30 seconds.
How is your sleep, do you snore loudly and don't feel rested? You might want to check if you have sleep apnea.
That's all I can think of for now. There are also drugs, both non-prescription and prescription that can help. Personally I'd only use them as a last resort.
Do you eat within 1-2 hrs before bedtime? Maybe you shouldn't. Or if you don't, maybe you should. Healthy stuff, either way, of course.
Do you do fairly strong aerobic exercise regularly? (25+ min, 3-4x/ week, work up to ~80% max hr, which is 220-age, roughly).
I beat bedtime anxiety by listening to religious audio casts on arcane topics, despite not believing in them. I find it soothing and I fall asleep within the first 10 minutes.
So give yourself permission to not sleep. If your brain thinks that staying awake and thinking-through problems is more important than sleep, that's ok. Let it happen.
As far as dealing with you pains as they kick in, try listening to a meditative podcast. I get migraines sometimes, and over-the-counter pain meds can't really help. This one meditation podcast I listen to helps me focus past the feelings of pain I'm experience at that moment and get some sleep. Here's a good, iTunes downloadable resource: http://www.meditationoasis.com/
However, I'm a firm believer that everybody's body is different. What worked for me might not work for you. It's really important that you talk to a doctor you trust, and you should experiment with a few of their suggestions. If this counselor you are seeing doesn't make you feel like he understands and wants to help you, then find someone who does. Even if they are giving the right advice, clearly you don't feel comfortable with them or how they are communicating with you. Don't feel like you don't have options, and don't spend any more time suffering than you have to.
Hope this helps; best of luck!
Let me tell you what helped me: Questioning and Thinking, I will explain. Because of the panic/anxiety I had especially when I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, I also had a phobia of my bedroom and sleeping (this of course made it worse). I would lay in bed feeling miserable and not understand why my body wasn't letting me rest and why this was happening to me. I would lay there scared and all I thought about was that it would never end and this was permanent. But with the help of counseling and just experiencing the symptoms enough, something in my thoughts changed and I started questioning: "what's the worst that can happen? This can't kill me. If I don't fall asleep, I may not feel great but nothing bad can really happen." And with that, I slowly started to get more and more comfortable and having better sleep. Some nights are better than others and when they aren't great, it's not permanent. Get your head out of thinking in patterns, if you can't fall asleep, get up and read a book, get away from your bed, do something and tell yourself that you will fall asleep but if you don't, it's not a big deal.
Although I did use medication, try to go the natural route first. And try distraction as well, as others have mentioned, there is some great meditation and other kinds of music you can listen to to help you sleep. Just Tell yourself that it doesn't matter if you fall asleep or not. Understand that your body and mind know what to do and that they will do what is right. When you get the pains, once again, tell yourself that it may be uncomfortable but it is not permanent, it can't kill you and it doesn't have to keep you from sleeping.
Stay positive and remember that everything will be great. My email is in my profile and I would love to answer any more questions you have.
You can also do CBT for sleep problems. So, uh, try that too.
(http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/insomnia/Pages/myquestforsleep.as...)
> Dr Chris Idzikowski, of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, says that people with insomnia often worry about their sleep. "They worry about the consequences of not falling asleep," he says. "This worrying turns into a vicious circle: the more you worry, the less you sleep."
> Dr Idzikowski says that breaking this cycle of anxiety about sleep is an important part of treating insomnia. "I tell my patients to focus on letting go of being awake rather than focusing on falling sleep," he says.
You might need extra help. "Sleep hygiene" is useful, but it's mostly about setting up a routine and sticking to it. Do you think a calming routine would help you unwind, and go to bed un-anxious?
There are exercises around "mindfulness" that might be helpful. Classes of meditation are helpful for this, but I'd be interested to see if there's any decent online meditation guides.
You might want to look on YouTube for ASMR videos. These are odd, in that they feature people whispering and using objects to make odd sounds. Some people feel the ASMR "tingle". I don't, but some of the videos are calming, and they're strange enough to distract me.
I liked Zopiclone as a short term intervention. I take it for a few days to kick me back into a sleep routine. It might not be a good choice for anxiety!
(http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/insomnia/Pages/treatment.aspx)
Obviously this is not medical advice and I'm not a doctor and I have no experience or training etc.
I also like to listen to rain/thunderstorms which I find relaxing. Hope that helps.
If your counselor isn't licensed to prescribe go to your Primary Care Provider (PCP; Physician, Nurse Practitioner, Physician's Assistant) to discuss treatment. Just because it's a "chemical" doesn't make it bad (remember: water is a chemical). Furthermore your primary care provider really does have your best interests in mind, and they love seeing patients who trust them. Don't waltz in demanding something in particular, chances are they've seen 4 other people today with similar problems and have a favored set of treatments and interventions. Also, always give your PCP time to solve something; a lot of medications and treatments like physical therapy and exercise take several weeks to start working.
Sources: my whole family are insomniacs, my wife is an NP.
Quality varies widely. Look for one that is standardized against hyperforin in addition to the usual standardization against hypericin. Eclectic Institute is one quality brand that offers this.
St. John's Wort is generally considered quite safe (NB: I am not a doctor!). However, it does interact with / influence the rate of absorption and/or potency/effectiveness of some other medications and supplements, one example being birth control pills whose effectiveness it lessens.
P.S. I see further now that you are describing "pains". If these are actually physical, that's another mattter. I was speaking more to anxiety and... "busy" thoughts.