There are some nuggets of both wisdom and idiocy here. The short story is, yes, drinkups should not be required social functions in any office setting, including startups.
The rest of the article, which tries to tie the whole concept to rape somehow by using a pretty poor analogy with oh-so-clever wording, is pure BS. If you go to any social function where alcohol is involved, it's your own responsibility to limit your alcohol intake, and if you don't trust someone... Don't take alcohol from them.
If you go to any social function where alcohol is involved, it's your own responsibility to limit your alcohol intake
Some things are systematic. You are expected to drink, and you comply to fit in. I can relate to what she writes about boundary crossing, because on some evenings I don't drink at all: most people who don't know me well and notice I'm not drinking then try to get me to drink, or at least feel bad about my behavior. I can cope with that, but for people who are trying to be popular it's more difficult. In the end it's always your responsibility, but only few people have enough power to resist the expectations of their peers.
A related problem is that many men think that the main purpose of going to a bar or club is to hit on women (instead of socializing in general or dancing). Which creates a lot of pressure on them to end the evening "successfully", even if they themselves are uncomfortable with this particular way of starting a relationship.
Nobody likes the "blame the victim" statements. But I also don't like the "blame the location" statements. You can't blame the event for a rape anymore than you can blame the short skirt and lace stockings. You blame the rapist.
I agree that imbibing alcohol shouldn't be mandatory and rapist are terrible people. but, If the above statement is true and you do choose to drink in public, a large portion of your personal safety is up to you. If you don't feel safe, DO NOT PARTICIPATE. You are a skewed minority if you believe that that social functions with friends AND coworkers are enabling a culture where the logical extension of that culture is your detriment.
If you feel like you are in danger, stay out of danger. You choose your own level of involvement, don't project.
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[ 1.3 ms ] story [ 41.7 ms ] threadThe rest of the article, which tries to tie the whole concept to rape somehow by using a pretty poor analogy with oh-so-clever wording, is pure BS. If you go to any social function where alcohol is involved, it's your own responsibility to limit your alcohol intake, and if you don't trust someone... Don't take alcohol from them.
Some things are systematic. You are expected to drink, and you comply to fit in. I can relate to what she writes about boundary crossing, because on some evenings I don't drink at all: most people who don't know me well and notice I'm not drinking then try to get me to drink, or at least feel bad about my behavior. I can cope with that, but for people who are trying to be popular it's more difficult. In the end it's always your responsibility, but only few people have enough power to resist the expectations of their peers.
A related problem is that many men think that the main purpose of going to a bar or club is to hit on women (instead of socializing in general or dancing). Which creates a lot of pressure on them to end the evening "successfully", even if they themselves are uncomfortable with this particular way of starting a relationship.
If you feel like you are in danger, stay out of danger. You choose your own level of involvement, don't project.