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I was inspired by this comment https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6813162

I find that lookback of 2 generally creates more entertaining titles. Lookback of 3 usually seems to just splice together two titles (which can be hilarious, and is usually more grammatically correct), and lookback of 1 tends to generate more nonsense.

Some fun ones I found just now:

    The Neuroscientist Who Discovered He Was a Teenage Hacker

    How my comment on TechCrunch got me a new, useful superpower?

    PHP Sucks But I Didn't

    Windows 8 is 20% faster than C

    The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL

    Cards Against Humanity has made comments even worse, I'm leaving

    How Porsche hacked the financial system and made a html5 game, polished it many many times
Interestingly, if I change the code to pick the most likely word, followed by the most likely word, etc. the "most probable" post is "The New York Times and The Internet"

If I limit it to just 2013 posts, it is "The NSA surveillance".

My site is running on the smallest Digital Ocean droplet (512MB), if it goes down, I will feel silly. If it does, code can be found here: https://gist.github.com/grantslatton/7694811

Markov chains are always hilarious. Try feeding it the whole text of a news article, or even a book; this way you can use higher lengths and get even more impressive results.
I am not sure. I have seen funny MC generated text before, but I think headlines are short and their structure plays well with the Markov Model.
> The Navy’s newest warship is powered by WebGL

omg ymmd

"PHP Sucks But I Didn't" is pretty hilarious, also knowing what the "most probable" is by year could be a great annual tradition. Did you check 2012 and 2011?
Or the most probable per month would be interesting too.
Here's one I found that was quite amusing: "Aisle50 (YC S11) streamlines the search for aliens"
The best one I got was "Aisle50 (YC S11) is a valid ipv4 address"
My best one is "Voyager 1 spots new region at the edge of the iTunes EULA"
Absolutely brilliant. I'm dying.

    Supreme Court to avoid public shaming
    WordPress has left the solar system
    Cyanogen raises $7 million to build a perfect SNES emulator
    Washington Post to grow vegetables on weekdays
> 5. WordPress has left the solar system

Amazing. Thank you!

Obama wins back the right to keep emails private

John Resig's 'Secrets of the JavaScript Ninja Update'

From YC Rejection to 10,000 Users in 1 Day

PyPy is faster than pushing a pixel to the screen

screenshot: http://s28.postimg.org/k9pdb67n1/funny.png

Couldn't resist from posting these:

-How Facebook is killing Linux on the desktop

-MongoDB Raises $150 Million - And Still Isn't Difficult Enough To Watch HBO Shows

-Facebook claims it can read your e-mail without a data plan

-I am depressed and I need someone to talk to restaurants.

-Ask PG: Will you share your data in plain English

-France convicts Google Maps for iOS

-Mars water surprise in Curiosity rover – I am depressed and I am building Tindie fulltime

-SPDY Review by Opera Software has filed a lawsuit

A few more (thanks for an hour long non-stop laugh!)

-Microsoft made their own online textbook, save district $175,000

-Data.gov & 7 Other Sites to Shut Down Uber

-Ramit Sethi and Patrick McKenzie on Getting Your First iOS App Store Nightmare

-Valve: Piracy Is More Important Now Than Ever Before

-iCloud’s Real Purpose is to Kill W3Schools

-Pirate Bay Will Stop In Silicon Valley And Unemployed America

-The Revolutionary Birth Control In The World: Maximizing Shareholder Value

-Samsung flew bloggers to Berlin, then threatened to leave a tech job at Facebook

-Google’s Marissa Mayer Has a Secret Backdoor in New Encryption Standard? (2007)

Some that made me laugh a lot: -In emergency cases a passenger was selected and thrown out of the Internet

-In CSS, “px” is not broken: It’s a Pyramid Scheme

-SpaceX's First Official Cargo Resupply Mission to Mars

-Resistor hack turns a Nvidia GTX690 into a Bank

-Google+ is now free on Amazon

-Saturn's North Pole Is A Difficult Community to Participate In

-JSON will be on 'every HP PC' shipping next year, says CEO

-Mozilla and Epic Announce Unreal Engine for Vim

-Every Black Hole Contains a New (and Better) Google

-Why "Coupon Code" Should Not be a core type in PostgreSQL 9.2

-Skype 5 for Mac 1.1

-The author of Nginx on why V8 is not an iPad

Hahaha these are AWESOME especially the facebook one and the MongoDB hahahahaha
Here's my top10 as of now:

  - Ask HN: What's the best place to aim on a Porn Website
  - The Professor, the Bikini Model and the Kindle
  - John Resig's ‘Secrets of the HBGary hack
  - Oracle discontinues Ruby/Rails support for SOPA.
  - A new way of writing unmaintainable code.
  - Redesigning the country of Liechtenstein for $70,000 a night with Airbnb
  - Build a house for $5
  - Iranian Web Programmer’s Death Sentence to Be Successful
  - Show HN: Pick a number from 1 to 1000 in C
  - Greplin (YC W10) open sources key piece of shit startup I hate to love
le rand(1,100) I R HAXORSSS

im from reddit by the way coul you telld :DD:D:D

- Redesigning the country of Liechtenstein for $70,000 a night with Airbnb

That isn't too far off: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2447580

Ha, and I tried to include only titles that sounded as obvious jokes. It's getting harder and harder to tell real from Onion-style stories.
-RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too
Yeah, it's the best so far.
Love this one. Haven't laughed so much in a while. xD
- My boss decided to add a new syntactic feature to PHP
Tears are streaming down my face from laughing so hard.
"Ma'am, Your Burger Has Been Acquired by LinkedIn"

^ almost died laughing at that one just now

also: "Learn You a Haskell is now larger than LinkedIn"
> Deleted my portfolio, made $30k in my first six months of programming: from man-rodent to partyman
I want to work for Porsche! It sounds like they're getting shit done.
(comment deleted)
Oh boy, I haven't lauhde this hard for a while. You have created a masterpiece of algorithmic humor. A few gems from my trials:

HIV-Infected Infant Cured With Early Use of 'App Store'

First employee of startup? You are not colder than absolute zero

No, really, pi is wrong: The NSA slide you haven’t seen

$100k Revenues in One Click.

Honestly, when I read the NSA one I started laughing, but then it kind of sent a shiver down my spine. Brrr.
The NSA had been spying on mathematicians, and discovered their greatest secret. Pi and e are actually switched. No, really, pi is wrong.
This one is so real!

Q: “How much does an app cost?” A: “About as much as I make?

Too scared to write a simple operating system

Cook something or get out of bed for less than $10,000 per day.”

In Math You Have to Find Them

Fastest-growing YC S11 startup looking for hackers. Join us in our quest to kick healthcare's ass.

I thought this one was great:

What it's like to be forked

- MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle

- Show HN: My husband is Broken

- Twitter acquires, you laugh, you're still loving

- My dad unexpectedly uses my Linux laptop to get your attention. Join us!

- Ask HN: my 5-year-old son to Acquire Lucasfilm Ltd.

- Linux is now hosted in North Korea

"MongoDB Gotchas and How We Nearly Lost the Discovery Shuttle"

This one is a gem. I can almost see the fishy article about it

> Most data isn’t “big,” and businesses are wasting money pretending it is a prison and damaging our kids

Won't someone think of the children?

> JPL director: Curiosity may have been causing USB disconnects

"NSA Boss Asks Congress For Blanket Immunity For Companies That Help NSA Whistleblower Edward Snowden"
My top 10 so far (in no particular order):

  Tesla wins in North Korea [since Kim Jong-un bought one]
  CISPA Passes in the browser
  Zynga Shuts Down Major Websites and Https Protocol [very plausible]
  The Rules of a startup [couldn't believe first this wasn't a HN title]
  Simple Minecraft Clone in 580 lines of Ruby [ditto]
  What's the best startups in the noise of 802.11 [even more true than HN]
  Parsley.js: never write a Web Application that makes you understand git [ditto]
  Why I am building a hulking floating data center [I wish someone would do it]
  Only a few countries are teaching children how to drive customers away [are these countries called "communistic"? ;-) ]
  Concurrency is not an iPad [having read so many strange comparisons concerning concurrency I'm not surprised...]
I threw together a little app that lets you vote for the funniest ones of these: http://headline-generator.herokuapp.com/

(I also really want to update it to also do Upworthy-style headlines. And maybe combine the two?)

Update: Now it does Upworthy also. And mashups. Amazing mashups.
> Show HN: I am very real
Startup hopes to hack the beliefs that are holding you back

Thank you for epitomizing HN.

Pretty aggressive/pessimistic!

  RSS Is Dying, and You Should Too
Edit: Some more funnies...

  Nimbus.io: Open-source alternative to the US
  Groupon is the new FTP
And last but not least:

   Official Hacker News is bad for you
Science fiction novel about an open-source country.

  Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Life as an Apple Store Employee
  Facebook bans Adsense in all human history
  Show HN: We made an addictive way to fold a sheet of paper
  Rules of Storytelling According to the UK Gov
  Death to the ISS - Launch Webcast (starts at 12:00am PDT)
FBI Document: [DELETED] had plan to kill an unresponsive SSH session

Pffft, this is obviously just another internet conspiracy

That is literally hilarious. "Nobody’s going to download your bullshit app" , "HN will be retired, transition to Google Wallet Anti-Competitively" , "The best interface is no retirement" , "Amazon's homepage was down for 6 hours to boot Ubuntu" , "PHP Sucks But I Like PHP" , "Programming is a Lie" ,""Gangbang Interviews" and "Bikini Shots": Silicon Valley’s Start-Up Machine" , "Ask HN: What colour is your primary operating system" , "Chrome Engineer: Firefox Is A Costly Mistake" , "CSS Zen Garden is 10 times more efficient than the New Commodore 64" , "How one man escaped from a major UI overhaul" , "Turn anything into a Wikipedia article" , "Women, Tech Conferences and the "profitless business model" fallacy" , "MySQL now includes memcached, and a manifesto" , "FuckItJS: Runs your javascript code with MS Paint" , "Iceland Kicked Out of Y Combinator without an Idea" , "The shittiest project I ever read", "From idea to exit – the vi editor"
Soylent: What Happened to the Nexus 7
- A file that's both an acceptable HTML page and a Raspberry Pi; - My idea to exit – the vi editor; - Ask HN: How much recurring income do you make in the US on copyright charges; - Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed; - This Google ad has moved people to beat comment spam; - The DDoS that almost broke the rules; - Should Quadrotors All Look Like the One in the middle of NYC?
I hate myself for posting these, but I cannot resist (I am silently shaking from laughter fighting hard not to wake up my newborn):

Show HN: Let's Be Civil (I think his was a real post but with Tell HN -- the small change is hilarious)

Jordanian citizen was denied re-entry to the Post PC Era

Firefox now only has one big flaw

I feel I am a programmer

Web Intents - the future of spam in Windows

A new Python web framework for Haskell

Damn it, I want to read all of those!
I got this and it seemed a bit.. too real:

Two Senators Say the NSA Is Storing Voice Content, Not Just Metadata

So hard to stop posting...

    When I Stopped Eating For 2 Years in Production
    How Github uses Github to build a windmill
    Ask HN: Who is Sick
    Apple's Role in Japan stopped having sex?
    Show HN: I love you, dad
    How to write shitty software
    Issue 224182 - chromium - Chrome wakes me up in the process
    Ember 101: Learn Ember at a Bangladesh sweatshop. Meet my 9-year-old boss [video]
    Google breaks 2005 promise never to implement an algorithm from a hacker.
    Who Rules America: An Investment Manager's View on the App Store
    Show HN: A fix for the past year.
    Richard Stallman: How I Hacked Facebook’s Secure Files Transfer Service for Employees
    LuaJit 2.0 is out after many years in prison
    Why should I have no idea what I'm doing
    Tell HN: Frustrated and feeling pretty useless at this moment’ – Jimmy Carter on NSA snooping [video]
>Ember 101: Learn Ember at a Bangladesh sweatshop. Meet my 9-year-old boss [video]

Incredible.

The first one I saw was

> The WorldWideWeb application is now larger than LinkedIn

I had to follow the link to the code to convince myself it really was random and not satire.

"White House: What's Blocking Innovation in America? My Answer: IP Laws"
My favorites, almost too good to be fake:

- A conversation between two chatbots and how one found out the other company has bigger monitors

- Amazon and the adults who get upset about Sparrow’s acquisition

- Orin Kerr: Why I Quit My Job to Start the Rest of My Todo List

- How to handle 1000s of concurrent users on a cube-shaped planet

- My Name Is Me - Supporting your freedom to drink coffee

- 15-year-old girl invents flashlight powered by node.js + socket.io

- Nobody's Going to Get Good at Making Money

- Airbnb Has Arrived: Raising Mega-Round at a $1 billion fraud

- Microsoft launches an HTML5 game. I finally understand why I'm not going to steal a Russian airport

One I got thats similarly almost too good

"Whatever works for you – and giving up reading it will make your customers much happier"

There have been way too many like this once recently

Two I got in this same category:

- Man places his genome to Github, smartass forks and issues a pull request - Paul Graham consistently says ‘um’ ~7 times per year, audit finds

And this one is hilarious enough to get an honorable mention:

WYSIHTML5: A better way to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela

My favorites:

"Google is about to learn stats"

"Progressive JPEGs: a new alternative to Node.js"

"Canadians Just Became World's Biggest Problem"

"Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed"

Some too good not to share:

- Your Username Will Now Have Amazon Ads Pre-Installed

- Android Ported to ANSI C

- Memories of Stasi color Germans’ view of time, if nanoseconds were seconds

- Cook something or get out of Facebook.com

- Mark Cuban: If you want to order it, use 'view source' to find the commented-out link.

- How Little Sleep Can You Get From McDonald's?

- Ocean acidification due to SOPA

- Love startups but not a developer? We need Ruby developers

- Lenovo CEO Gives His $3 Million Bonus to 10,000 Users in 1 Month (with stats)

   > Android Ported to ANSI C
The most common issue is the different semantics of 'inline' between historic gcc and C99.
Why I Don't Want Your App. Try Again Later

Ask pg: Please consider not doing a PhD.

When I Stopped Eating For 2 Years

Ask HN: I'm an American and a JPEG (view source on it)

What it’s like to be an accident

Paul Graham consistently says ‘um’ ~7 times per year, audit finds

CISPA Passes in the Womb

US Government: You Don't Prioritize Your Life, Someone Else Will

Stallman: "Facebook is an anti-pattern

Civet coffee: why it's time to submit a pull request

pimp up your droplet, this is great.
Poor college student, etc...

I am currently using all of my VPS funds hosting a 20$/mo (the big bucks, right?) droplet which is running a server for an AI programming game I made (currently closed testing among my friends).

Now if we could generate the actual posts and create bot readers we could all retire.
Best one I got: "How to build (and how not to do it again)"

    Show HN: Most Wikipedia articles lead to unlimited lifetime data storage using Norwegian laws

    A standing desk for two years working on

    Why I quit my job to personally email the first ISP to challenge the USA
Winamp's woes: how the NSA

This was HN just a few days ago.

(comment deleted)
I'll join, this is fun:

  - Thank HN: 127 days since I quit Facebook

  - Dropbox: The Hottest Startup You've Never Heard of

  - Facebook detects if you are not a pilot

  - Reddit traffic doubles in less than 600 bytes

  - How to break in Gmail & Major Torrent client for work on Jeopardy
This is amazing!

I got:

    The Dumbest Idea In The South is 129 Million Years Old
    Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes
    Show HN: Please discuss if it’s 1999
    The Student And Quadrupled My Zappos/Twilio hackathon     entry into the math
    Searching for all Who Changed My favorite bookmarked HN users
Also

    How Khan Academy is the Future of Education
    What it’s like to work for Google
I'm pretty sure these are actual titles (lookback = 3)

Thanks for the laugh :)

> Double Fine raises $1m in less than 600 bytes

That is amazing. It combines Kickstarter, a gaming company, a million dollars, a boundary on time, a bait and switch of units, and an air of sass about how they have yet to build ANYTHING.

Nope! The Khan academy one is a splice of

  How Khan Academy is using machine learning to assess student mastery
and

  Yes, The Khan Academy is the Future of Education
The google one is a splice of

  What it’s like to work for Stripe
and

  No, I still don't want to work for Google
I filter out exact matches (or submatches).
Suggestion: filter the titles that are identical to real ones. Or maybe it was part of the plan, demonstrating how they are indistinguishable.

    My deadly disease was just a website.

    IBM's "Watson" finally ready for preorder.

    TileMill — an application for making my daughter cry.

    "Anonymous" Hackers Take Down Megaupload Video

    Google finally has a natural, almost visceral aversion to complexity

    Syrian Internet Is a Hero

    IRS claims it does not compute

    Stripe raises $18 million from affiliate links on "Ad-Free" blog

    Why I use paper to wipe my butt every day.

    Apple not providing LGPL webkit source code 23 years later and you're still loving
If you look at the code, I filter all titles that are substrings (including identical) of real ones. Sometimes the Markov chain will simply add a single word to it, though, so it gets through the filter. Any suggestions on how to improve it?
Funny, I'm sure I google'd a few of them and got a perfect match, but now I can't find any more.

Probably my fault, sorry.

The straightforward solution is: For each fake title, compute its Hamming distance to every real title. Filter titles whose distances are very close to real titles.

It's O(N^2), but if you write it in Python and run it with pypy, performance may be acceptable. Maybe.

But I think this is a classic example of a Problem That Doesn't Matter. No need to spend time solving it (unless you're having fun!)

Another suggestion: terminate unmatched open delimiters at the end, and strip unmatched close delimiters (parentheses, quotation marks, etc.
Brilliant! :)

Apartments So Small They Can Say No

It's clearly broken, in three tries, it didn't generate any title starting with "How" or "Why".
Ask HN: How or why would that happen?
Yeah, I'll pay these:

    10x teams, not worth a CEO vs cancer
    How 'One Weird Trick' Conquered The Fifty Days, Payments Service Disruption Post
    The first Django site to run for Australian Senate
This is great!

Best ones:

Zuck, Bill Gates, Jack Dorsey In Short Film To Inspire Kids To Learn How To Write Code In 2012

The tent that turns into concrete in less than 600 bytes

CoffeeScript is not a four letter word

Funniest thing I've seen in a few days. Markov algorithms are underrated as sources of hilarity.

  After 180 Websites, I'm Ready to Start the Rest of My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant

    Show HN: I will stop providing any service to MPlayer

    Canada Is About to Come Undone?

    Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don’t Talk So Much Radiation?

    How Paypal and Reddit faked their way to browse pictures on reddit

    Oracle gives up trying to escape police

    Opera moves to restrict Internet freedom

    Our office is too big -- we need a Pirate
:D
> Matt Damon: Edward Snowden did a great job translating LPTHW to Ruby

    My fellow geeks, we need to have a jobless future

    Did everybody see what just happened? The pendulum has swung.

    Do You Really Want to be a Programmer: A Short, Comprehensive, and Personal Summary

    Why I won't be your technical co-founder

    Killing the Internet to its knees

    Hacking the iPod: How I Earned A Lot More on Projects by Changing My Pricing Strategy

    YC S12 company refuses to pay for TextMate 2

    A Billion Dollars Isn’t Cool. You Know What’s Cool? Paid, Paid Vacation.

    Functional thinking: Why functional programming is on the edge, and so is he
Markov chains were my first foray into machine learning. Painfully simple and accessible. It's a great way to show the power of just a little data.

    Show HN: I love weird socks and I'm excited about a year & sold a startup...with only 300 lines of Ruby
this is gold :)