Ask HN: Friendly Cities?
1. I'm not looking for "people are people". I've lived in Boston and Seattle, and in my opinion you'd have to be completely 'deaf' not to feel the difference. My question both assumes, and insists, that people act differently in different locales.
2. Same for "people respond to you, so it's all you, man". That's deep, but for the love of straightforwardness, I implore you to save those keystrokes. Again, if you think it's all the same, I'm emphatically not addressing the question to you.
3. It would be great to hear from people who have lived in at least 2 cities / places.
4. If you're going to recommend someplace outside the US, hopefully it's somewhere an english-speaking US citizen could reasonably get a work visa. That said, there's no reason for me to hog this thread all for myself, so post away.
Thanks!
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What constitutes "friendly" for you, and how might the answers here be of benefit to similar people?
1. The catalans are known all over Spain for being cold people. I don't mean cold as in mean, as they are quite nice, but they keep to themselves. You will not get an open arms welcome from the locals. Much like the French, it takes a long time to be welcomed as a true friend by the people there.
2. While Barcelona has tons of expats (Brits, Italians, French, Andalucians), skater kids, and an all around nice "hipster" subcultures, the truth is very few people ever really stay in Barcelona. You will have a very hard time making real long term friends. You can have a ton of fun for a short while, but not for the long haul.
Take it from a guy whose talked to literally hundreds of people who came to visit BCN for a short time (less than a year) and thought it was paradise. It really isn't. It could be if the economy was better, if there was more integration of outsiders and locals, if you would wait a decade or four, but that just isn't the Barcelona that exists now. Barcelona is built around tourism, and to tourists it's a paradise. But like everything built on tourism, it's a transient facade. If you want to have a blast for a few months, Barcelona might be your place, but not for anything serious.
But i also think all this is true for most European cities, not just Barcelona.
But it wasn't until I moved to the midwest (central Illinois) that I understood how much more that was to it than that. Our neighbors welcomed us with a plate of cookies, a women my wife met at a cafe invited us to their house for dinner that night. (We went, it was nice.) The willingness to truly open up your life and home to a stranger was staggering for someone like me who grew up in Southern California.
So, I think the answer to your question depends on whether you just want pleasant strangers or hope to find something very different.
I guess it's worth mentioning that there is a lot of animosity here towards people from NY and NJ (I have heard this from 3 people off the top of my head), but everyone I've met from those parts is cool too...
I've lived in New England (CT and MA) my entire life (I'm 23). I've lived in the city (Boston) and in the suburbs (Guilford - a shoreline town near New Haven). I'm a musician, writer and a startup guy so I have friends and relationships in a variety of circles.
I'd say that the best way to experience the friendliest cities is by being a respectful and inquisitive outsider.
On this tour I've done very little prior research before arriving in any town outside of planning each day of travel to be 5 hours or less. I wanted to intentionally go in with no expectations outside of what people on the road have told me.
Everywhere I've gone I have managed to connect with complete strangers that have become friends. I think the best thing you can do as a foreigner in a city (I consider myself a foreigner even though I'm a United States citizen) is to be open to whatever comes at you. Opting to sit with two strangers that asked if I wanted to join them at a seafood spot in Shreveport, LA resulted in me hanging out with them all day learning about the city, local politics, craft beer, wildlife conservation/fracking and more. I could have just said, "no thanks" and I would have wandered around town by myself all day.
So this is a bit of a ramble but I guess the point is that I set out on this tour thinking I'd move to Austin afterwards. I still think I will but every place I've passed through so far other than Baltimore (far too violent) has been a place I would consider living - at least for a few months to try it out. The best way to find a "friendly city" which by your definition just seems to be one that you like the people in, is to travel all around and see what resonates.
Happy to tell you more about my travels. julian at bundio.com
See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_nice
Hawaii Colorado Minnesota Utah Vermont Nebraska Montana New Hampshire Iowa Massachusetts
Of those, I've lived in Utah, Nebraska, and Iowa, and loved them all. Intelligently of me, I now live in SFBA.
* * *
Amsterdam, NL
I strongly recommend Amsterdam, and most reasons presumably also apply to other Dutch cities:
- People are very friendly and polite, and often they will spontaneously offer help. Sometimes, this is so acute that it becomes kind of a facade, and may hide the true personality of some people. But overall it makes them seem very friendly; even policemen are always really nice and understanding.
- People are very pragmatic and open-minded: they will not care about any quirks or weird habits, unless it really bothers them. They usually do not let traditions or beliefs hold them back, most of them are very reasonable people.
- You do not need to speak Dutch. Everybody speaks English — even kids! (For a Frenchman, this is impressive.) If you already speak English and German, learning basic Dutch will be easy anyway.
- Most people deeply care for the environment: there is a lot of nature, and of course the famous bikes — the whole country is flat anyway.
- Specific to Amsterdam: only half of the population is Dutch, which makes it a crazy melting pot. In general, both the law and the people are very friendly to foreigners.
* * *
Paris, FR
Paris is a lot bigger than Amsterdam (although not much bigger than Boston), and is very specific compared to other (especially southern) French cities.
- There is an incredible cultural activity and unique artistic collections, a shitload of museums, theaters, concert halls... There is always an interesting exhibition somewhere, you will never have enough time to attend everything.
- The economy is prolific and diverse: you can find a job in pretty much any sector — provided you are good enough. Paris is home of many startups and other dynamic small companies.
- It is the home of a refined lifestyle: good wine in bars, many excellent restaurants, specialized stores for whatever food/drink from anywhere in the world.
- The city itself is utterly beautiful: an aesthetic equilibrium of many architectural styles, uncountable monuments and magnificent buildings. The city is more than two thousand years old (though it was a lot smaller back then), and you can feel it when you walk on the old cobblestones.
However, it has its downsides:
- Not that many people speak a good English. Really. You will have to live with it.
- People can be polite I you show curtesy yourself, but they can also be quite rude if you are unlucky. Someone telling you they are too busy to help you find some direction is not surprising there.
- Public transportation is pretty good (except when you go to the suburbs), but driving (and parking!) is a nightmare. There are nine hills in Paris, so biking will take some strength — and some nerve, because people do not drive nicely.
I've also spent time in Seattle and Denver so I'll explain those just so you can compare you vs. me.
1) Chicago - Born and raised here. It's what you expect from a Big midwestern city. We're nice, but will cut you off on the road without thinking twice. Summer is when we're the nicest and most outgoing, Winter is essentially a black hole where you keep in touch with your existing friends and stay in. But overall, I've met a lot of nice and supporting people in chicago.
2) New York / New Jersey - Lived here for a year. It's a different vibe all together. Of course there are a lot of nice people, but expectations for you to be on your own and figure it out on yourself is much bigger here.
3) Seattle - I forget which suburban city it was (maybe kirkland) where there are pedestrian crossing flags to cross 4 lane streets. If that doesn't tell you what kind of city seattle suburbs are, then I'm not sure what else I can tell you. Extremely nice people, can't merge on the highway for the live of them and the only place where everyone drives the speed limit normally. In the end, really nice people but Im not an outdoor person and the cloudiness was actually affecting me.
4) Denver - nice outdoor people. That's all I can really say. I enjoyed denver and the people were always nice to me.
5) SF - A hectic place where the cab drivers know more about technology startups than you do. A wide variety of people where people pay too much to live in a city. Overall, nice people though but esp in the tech community an expectation that you must be part of a growing tech company to be successful.
6) Austin - Man, I do love this place. I can't stand houston or Dallas. I would rather live in Alaska then live in houston or dallas (mainly because of city layout). But Austin is a very nice city with people who are willing to help you. They still have a little of a texas attitude that everything is bigger in texas but an extremely friendly city. If you can't find friendly people in austin you are doing something wrong. These texans are extremely nice and plus you have a lot of converts from other cities that came here for the tech.
7) Los Angeles - I haven't been there for too long, but if you are looking for friendly I'm going to say this isn't your place. The roads aren't friendly and it ruins the experience for me.
8) Manchester, UK - I spent 6 months here and people call it a "rough place", but I enjoyed every second of it. If you're american it makes everything that much easier. You stick out and people love talking to anyone with an american accent.