Ask HN: What are the three most significant things you have learnt till date?

14 points by BhavdeepSethi ↗ HN
I had to answer this question recently and I realized how different life experiences reflect in your views. I asked some of my friends this question and it was really interesting to hear what others had to say. You can learn a lot from others life experience. You can answer here or on my blog.

My answers were: #1 Always listen to your heart. It’ll lead you the right way. #2 Hard work beats Talent when talent doesn’t work hard. #3 Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

A much detailed answer can be found here: http://www.deepmusings.com/?p=263

17 comments

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#1 Life is short, so make sure you'll have no regrets when you die

#2 Whether you think you can or can't, you're right

#3 Foolish decisions are often the ones you regret the less

Good thread, though I can only come up with one thing.

# Good relationships are really important for your mental health

Just one thing:

1. The importance of good grammar.

Jsut one tihgn:

1. Teh iopmtrnace fo godo gammrar.

See, it's not that important.

1. Think bigger. Work on ambitious projects. You become what you spend your time on. And big visions attract money and talent. Think bigger.
"#2 Hard work beats Talent when talent doesn’t work hard."

Interesting. So which is more important, working hard or working smart?

Working smart any day. What I meant was it does not stop there. For a programmer (or any job frankly), you have to constantly work at improving yourself. Say, if you don't keep up with the technology, a person who has gone the extra mile and done so will definitely be favored over you.
"The highest paid job in America is thinking. Some people think, many people think that they think and the vast majority would rather die than think" - Brian Tracey

Over the years I've seen that this is true. People avoid to think and make their own mind on a subject.

That's a discussion Brian Tracey in the podcast "The Miracle of Self-Discipline".

ps. By thinking of course I don't mean think about it 5 minutes while running on the park with your iPod. I mean think thoroughly, spend some time alone with no abstractions, before taking an important decision: be it a product, partnership, etc.

Concept #1: Opportunity Cost: Everything has a cost. Everything. At a minimum, it is the foregone time you could have invested into other activities rather than the thing that you've chosen to invest time in. Even if you had unlimited funds, you still have to chose what to do with your time, and that's frighteningly finite. Realize, therefore, that you are always giving up something, and choosing to be weak in one area in return for being strong in another. No one is good at everything. No one has it all.

Concept #2: Labor-elasticity relative to wages/money can be negative, and that's ok. For those not keyed in on economic mumbo-jumbo, that simply means that having more money can result in people choosing to work less. First year economics people (and i'm assuming many young, and HN-types) assume that everyone will do more work for more money. But money is not the point, and unless you're neurotic and insecure (and most people who chase money are), there comes a time when you realise that maybe now that you've got money, you can instead use it on the things that really matter rather than trying to get more of it. And work, on the whole, is not the shit that matters...

Concept 3: Be humble and self-critical. Humble to realise how fallible and pathetically human you are, so that you don't beat yourself or others up too much, and how much luck had to do with any success that comes your way, and how much it has to do with a great deal of suffering that comes the way of others. Self-critical so you can deal with, improve upon and compensate for the flaws you realise you have.

Bonus concept 4: Learn from the things stupid people do so you don't do the things that make them stupid. Their sole purpose in life is to act as a warning to others.

Agree with #2. After a certain point, money is no longer a motivating factor. The crappy part about this is you have to reach that point to realize this. #3 has been the best thing I've read so far today.
1. Irrational behavior is much more common in humans than what I had imagined. The world seems to be running on it.

2. If you are not experimenting, you are not learning. E.g., Don't be scared to share your thoughts with others, since if they are wrong that's your shortest path to get corrected.

3. Need to figure how to undo childhood learning that is likely wrong but yet ingrained in our minds.

Plus a large number of technical things that the question does not preclude though probably does not intend to ask for.

Work hard. Be strong. Don't complain.
#1: Spend more money on experiences and less on things.

#2: Don't dread potentially poor outcomes because they are never as bad as they seem.

#3: Competence, confidence, and efficiency go a long way.

1. Don't be too hard on yourselves. You tend to make mistakes, and there is no way to become better without making them. Put the past behind and move on. Easier said than done, though.

2. Failure is the default state of any venture. Give your best to succeed, but remember that you're starting from failure. This way, you learn to handle the lows associated with failures better.

3. Focus on the process as much as on the results. The idea is to master the process that's expected to return results so that you can keep using it to succeed at various things.

* There is no point in brooding over a decision we have made in the past. Given the circumstance and no prior knowledge of the future, we will always make the same decision. So we have to accept our shortsight/mistake, learn from it and keep going.

* I try to give the maximum I can for an objective, so I will not have any regrets later, whether it is achieved or not. Clear conscience.

You can get (almost) anything you want, but you can't get everything you want.