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bhartzer
"According to a post on Stiles' MySpace page "I ran after him, but by the time I got my phone back there was a $30 charge for a trip" I think the problem here wasn't necessarily the Windows phone, but the fact that she still has a MySpace page.
geuis
You realize this is satire, I hope.
jofer
Just in case folks happen to comment before reading the article:

"Categories: Fauxpinions, Satire"

izzydata
Ah ok. My initial thought was that there was no chance this story was real. It combined two totally opposite kinds of people in a way that didn't make any sense.
adamredwoods
"Officer Albie Esparza confirmed that a police report had been filed with the San Francisco Police Department, and was currently being stored on a floppy disk." ...yes, but what SIZE floppies? the 3 1/2 was a higher density than the 5 1/4.
lotsofmangos
I'm betting on an 8" disk for an old CP/M box.
roymckenzie
"ripped the phone out of her hand, saying "App/OS UI integration is the future of mobile!" & then ran to get an Uber"
ProNoob13
I actually believed it all the way to the last two paragraphs.