I was in an interview on Monday, and the tech lead and I were having a good giggle about that exact cartoon! I told him about The Headphones Rule[0], and he thought it was an awesome idea. Funny coincidence.
I wish that worked. I'm in an open plan office where I constantly need the headphone to drown out the noise all the other things happening (people talking to each other, marketing people making phone calls, people walking about, etc) so that'd mean I'd be constantly unapproachable. I'd actually like that, but I'm pretty sure my co-workers and employer wouldn't.
A friend works in an office where headphones are even banned because they create too much of a barrier to talk to a co-worker. I'd go absolutely crazy there in less than a week.
Dealing with interruptions and distractions while remaining focused on the problem at hand is a valuable skill that takes time and effort to hone.
Any hacker can write code while in a closed office, wearing headphones, shut off from the world. Great hackers can write code while E-mails come in, people drop by with questions, Julie over in BizDev is yacking on the phone with some vendor, and the PM is asking if you've filled out your TPS report this week.
Maybe this will become a new "zen" thing - calm and collected in the midst of chaos.
Though even though it might something that great programmers can do, they might be even more effective if they get to remove some of those distractions.
What if I don't want to be distracted by everything around me, but don't mind being interrupted if there is something they are wondering about? Then I might have to wear headphones with the usual volume, 'cause if I wear it half-way or something then I still get a bit distracted by everything around me.
It's like leaving your door halfway open to signal that someone can come in if they want. I might not mind having a visit, but I might mind hearing all the noise, or curious looks from people passing by through the corridor. Hence the 'busy' sign to hang on the doorknob, when needed.
He zoned out of the world around him and distracted himself with either the project he was working on prior, or just a stream of consciousness around his get-out-of-too-many-words tool of counting
My personal theory: For something really hard, you have to put in your time and think about the issue. It has to consume you. You can't hold decent conversations. Eventually that janitor in the back of your head wanders up to your mental whiteboard, looks at the problem, says "Harumph!" and scribbles down an answer, and you wake up in the middle of the night with the answer so obvious and a shriek on your lips.
But there aren't any shortcuts, and the janitor is not at your beck and call.
Is that page meant to be satire? Either way it's completely hilarious. A recommended read. I began to smell a rat when he started talking about wet sacks, but when he starts dropping the jam on the floor it becomes pretty clear. I love the ideas. I shall be sending it to all my most pretentious friends as soon as possible.
Good to see that the french are still putting the work in.
EDIT: it's from the 60s and written by an englishman. now it all makes sense. oh well. and I've just realised what "jean-marie ventre" is about. now I feel a fool.
The Janitor visits me far more frequently when I set a 'You've spent an hour on this, hon' timer for a difficult problem.
At which point it's time for me to go take a break, talk to other people, have a cup of tea. Then come back - take a brief look at the original problem - and then, if nothing occurs, to work on a related problem before coming back to it and seeing if I can make any more progress.
Maybe it's just me, but protracted work on something I don't feel I'm making progress on seems to stop me thinking.
If you take the story literally, yes. If you assume that the problem is slightly more complicated and the author simplified for the benefit of having a readable story, your little notes app does squat.
If the solution for a complicated problem comes to you this way, you have managed to see dozens of moving parts at just the right time, from just the right angle, in your mind. It is incredibly hard to hold on to that, and writing it out in notes takes several pages.
When that solution comes to you, you cling on to it for dear life until you can put it into a form that works - several pages of notes, a test proving your point, a large diagram. Whatever it is. None of those answers can be captured with a phone app.
I'm skeptical that an insight can be both simple enough to spontaneously occur during a social outing AND complicated enough to require multiple pages of notes just to capture enough to remind you of the idea.
The point is, words might not be the best way to capture your insight. You have _something_ in your mind, and it doesn't always translate into few words. To quote Blaise Pascal: "I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."
I see this from a different perspective. I feel, the story is less about the feel that you might forget it if you don't cling to it. Rather, it is more about the intense need you have inside your mind to test your hypothesis and see to it that it is working.
No, you don't need pages to describe your moment of clarity. In fact, the author did it in four short sentences.
>He wasn’t paying attention. He missed the elevator.
>I bet you that’s exactly what happens in my code. If the remote end hangs up while I’m waiting for my authentication tokens, my app won’t notice, error out, and leak the socket.
You should be able to capture that thought in a few words. That will let you get back in the moment when you need to while also allowing you to fully engage with the people talking to you at the party.
I'm an introvert and that doesn't prevent me from enjoying parties and being sociable. It irks me when introvert is used as a pejorative or like it is something people have to "cope" with.
Yes, I always interpreted introvert vs extrovert as being about where we get our energy from.... introverts get energy from being alone, while extroverts get energy from being with people.
Aye ! Susain Cain describes the distinction quite well[0].
Introvert/Extrovert describes how social intelligence relates to energy increase and decrease. Introverts are more rapidly exhausted in using their social intelligence, whereas extroverts are more rapidly refreshed when deploying their social intelligence. The "way we feel" about social encounters is a symptom of (and thus a correlation with) the rise and fall of energy as we are part of the scene — where typically when we are losing energy, we're less inclined to view the situation positively (social anxiety then is engendered), largely do to our own lack of introspection and the effects of our poor participation/adjustment.
It's more costly for introverts to engage socially, and so the rewards (take aways) are strictly only harder to perceive.
Not true. I usually need a bit of psyching-up time if I'm going to a party, advance warning so I can get used to the idea and refocus my mental state outwards, but I enjoy them fine once I'm there. And I love places like coffee shops where I can hang out by myself and read, but be around people and maybe see someone I know and have a spontaneous chat.
> Are they actually talking to me? Unbelievable. I can’t talk, Dan; can’t you see? I’m hanging to this idea by a thread as it is
My problem with this story is that it makes it sounds like it's Dan's fault for walking up to the author at a party/social event. We've all been there -- an all-consuming problem or an unexpected moment of clarity. Or maybe you realize something that puts you into a sour mood. We can't expect those around us to be mind readers.
You say the story makes it sound like Dan is at fault and at the same time you say "We've all been there" which suggests you don't actually believe the author is blaming Dan for interrupting his thoughts. What makes you think others will misinterpret the author's point of view when it's clear you were able to understand it? Language will always have many different possible interpretations - a smart reader will pick up on that just as you did.
I totally get this. As one who works in a coworking space I have to fend off people all day. I love to talk, but not when I'm trying to write code. Some people don't realize that headphones are the universal sign of "I'm busy".
If people are distracting you, maybe you should, you know, have an actual conversation with them about it. Not everyone views headphones as the universal sign for being busy. Some people (myself included) just like listening to music while we work.
I know a developer who once walked over to a business analyst to ask about an interesting ID in our database. She chatted with him for a bit, drew her question, then they bantered some.
At the end of it, he recalled the interesting ID that she originally queried about, as they conversed, told her, then as she passed on to her next endeavor, her closing comment was, "Now let me try to remember that number all the way back to my desk."
Now granted, this is just an ID — not a bug, an "idea" or something embedded in some complicated (dis)array of logic — but she engaged the person whom she asked, and through human interaction and grace, the two pulled out an answer together. Then she took it in strides that memory is up to her.
I remember when I used to be more like her — and less like this antihuman, perpetually brooding, code-distressed, oh-can-you-leave-me-to-my-precious-mind sob-story archetype that you rage-hackers (again perpetually) perpetuate.
Why do we romanticize this? It's becoming obnoxious — the glorification of obnoxiousness. Your mind is your garden, and no one owes you peace of mind. And if people wish to browse your garden, you should be absolutely fucking thrilled.
Why are you propping up and romanticizing this "do no enter" sign at the entrance of your gardens?
You know — there's a Java dev here that often times will start off an interruption with, "How can I provide you with outstanding customer service today?"
How about this? Forget your "engineer" metaphor. Forget your "prodigious self-torment". If you want to fold to the Machines — that's YOUR M.O. Stop sharing with piss about it. Stop whining. Our job has one distinct role, and that's to protect EACH OTHER from this massively complicated world of machines. Do your goddamn fellow human a favor, and pay more attention to HUMANS than you do machines.
Maybe your life will be filled with more spontaneity, warmth, and gifts — because all a fucking computer is going to give you is rules. One key subcomponent of our job as developers, programmers, etc. is Customer Service and that's because humans first.
If your work is more important than the social obligation, it's always more polite not to go than to go and not be involved. If the social obligation is more important than the work, leave your work at home.
I know and have met the author of this blog as they used to own a business that organized developer conferences, published books, and a monthly magazine. If I had to hazard a guess, after many years of cat herding developers (many of whom do fit the profile you describe), Marco is enjoying a respite from humans and enjoying getting back to the relative simplicity of coding.
Fantastic read. I'm not a fan of the labels introvert and extrovert as they apply to people. However, I think as they apply to behaviors they are useful, and I found the fact that you didn't advocate for yourself to get out of there (possibly even at the expense of being rude) to be a bit introverted. Same with the idea that you usually "blow it" during conversation. (Alternatively, perhaps I am asocial.)
So, this guy went to a social event that he didn't want to go to because his mind was on work things and had been for a long, long time.
[edit] I'm taking the stance that there was a good reason for his going. Otherwise the question is just "why did he go?"[/edit]
Why wasn't he in the moment at the party? I suppose there's several reasons. I'm going to assume he was having a great time, someone that he was talking to left and then he wandered back into thought rather than going off to talk to someone else. That's fine, whatever. So, now I wonder where I'm supposed to go from here with this piece. The thing is this can't be about are getting flustered at people for interrupting your thought. It doesn't look like it. Therefore, I'm going to assume it's something like I'm doing right now: stream of consciousness. If that's the case, then, neat! I've been there! Very cool. Sorry it got awkward for you there. The other guy is a CEO, he understands being in thought all the time. "Just one sec, I gotta write this down" and then scribbling a bunch of notes wouldn't be too offensive to a man in charge of a whole company. He's done it plenty of times, and those ideas come at any random moment. I wouldn't be offended by a brief scribble before some proper salutations. After all, that CEO has now been given your undivided attention after about 5 seconds of scribbling (presuming you can write something short down that can be used to jog your memory). People like undivided attention. Makes them feel important, be they your boss, co-worker, friend, spouse or child.
Now, what is this story being used for. "I am not an introvert. I am just busy." No, you're not busy. Or, at least, your busy-ness shouldn't be with work things right now. You're at a party and should be in party mode with your friends. It's kinda like a father going home and saying he's going to spend time with his children, only to completely space out when he's playing catch. His mind should have been on his children. Your time is with your friends, there. Not giving them your attention is rude to them. "I am not socially awkward / going through the motions. I had a sudden thought I need to write down 'real quick" but that wouldn't be as catchy of a title.
There's those little notebooks that fit in front pockets that people buy and carry around. Maybe this is what those are for; or, as someone else in this thread pointed out, that's what the 'notes' app on your phone is for. I'd honestly not considered that is a reason, or if I have, I just re-realized that's what they can be for. Anyway,
We can take this to some other situations where it wouldn't be acceptable to be sucked into this train of thought: a meeting about a different feature at the job you're working at. They want you present on their tasks, too.
Live in the moment, be that completely absorbed in your current work task, or hanging out with your friends, laughing about stupid things, or hearing a friend talk about his story.
You know, there's a time and a place for quiet reflection. If the author needed time to reflect, he should go for a walk — alone, not go to a party.
I'm a shy introvert, but I see this fellow's problem a mile away: he needs to get better at saying no to people. Sure it's important to be present for social functions, and there's an art to "making an appearance" that is just part of playing the game. But if you're consciously aware that you should be somewhere else... GO.
A room full of tech geeks will get this. Actually, they most likely won't notice that you're leaving. That particular neurosis is rooted in ego: part of you wants someone to notice that you're missing, so that you can be not just doing something important but be a hero about it.
Deep down, we're all frequently irrational in similar ways.
"I don't want to be alone, but I want to be left alone." - Stephen Fry
"part of you wants someone to notice that you're missing, so that you can be not just doing something important but be a hero about it."
=> Besides the ego, there's also a cultural component. My Finnish friends tend to excel at leaving without saying goodbye or hugging, not because they have weaker ego but because that's a part of their culture. That said, in my culture (South Korea), your saying nothing when leaving will immediately strike people as socially incorrect or weird to say the least.
Finland is indeed the best place on earth to live if you just want to be left alone. Also: saunas.
As for the cultural differences regarding the ritual of leaving a social event, I really enjoy hearing about how things happen in other places. I would have had no idea.
That said, I get the sense that the author is either in Canada (.ca domain) or California, where people leave parties without ceremony all of the time. It would actually be far stranger to make a big deal of your departure.
I've been to Korean parties/events where on several occasions people left without saying anything and then ended up being called back to the party just to say goodbye.
I've been to a big party in Korea and people left and when someone asked about the people that left, someone said "I think they left." And that was that.
But now that I'm reading about Korean culture on this post, I think this may have been an extremely isolated incident. I don't know what was different about the event I went to however. Could it have been somewhat Americanized? Or maybe an extreme emergency situation where the person had to leave immediately?
We don't get to choose when inspiration visits us. Many times, the solution to an agonizing problem comes when we are far away from it, displacing forceful thought for casual reflection. I know my best ideas sneaked in just like that.
I also know that if I'm facing an acute problem that jeopardizes my product (thus my business, thus my wellbeing) I drift to think of it even when I shouldn't. Such is life.
And no, spending more time solving the bug instead of attending social events isn't the cure either. You need to physically remove yourself from a problem if you want a fresh perspective. Go sleep, hang out, eat something, get back. There are very few problems that I haven't solved in a career full of challenges and this one will not be any different, I just need to respect the mechanics of coming up with a solution.
I did not suggest that the author should go back and work.
I did suggest that the author should take a walk to clear his mind, and not attempt to zen out at a social gathering. I also suggested that the author shouldn't go to social gatherings that he doesn't want to be at.
Learning to say no without anxiety is a super power.
Walks can be great. But I think that the external stimuli present when around a noisy bunch of people can sometime do wonders to your perspective. If your work environment is noisy, try going someplace quiet, but if you spend most of your working days by yourself engulfed only with your thoughts, perhaps some company would get new ideas to come out.
That's the thing, going and walking around or going to a social event... it's not clear which one will help you solve your problem. Sometimes sitting quietly and thinking about an issue helps me, sometimes it leaves me chasing red herrings. Sometimes closing my eyes and visualizing helps me, sometimes it's about as useful as chewing bubble gum. Sometimes inspiration will strike for seemingly no reason... the other day I literally had to get out of the shower with shampoo in my hair to send myself an e-mail. I've been working on a hard problem for the past few weeks, at this point I'd say a considerable portion of the "clever fixes" have come to me in my dreams... I'll literally just wake up with a new idea about how to approach the problem that weren't even on my radar when I went to bed.
Also, social events and casual conversation is a great way to be social and engage in conversation while excising rubber duck debugging. So long as you make it entertaining for the other party, it's fun... explaining how stuff works for people who are curious is usually fun for both parties.
It's different strokes for different folks for sure, but don't limit your stroke options... and try not to get shampoo in your keyboard.
1. People who get migraines are probably chewing too much gum (that is, chewing too much in general.)
2. There's a sharp increase in dementia when people lose their teeth, and this is likely because they aren't chewing enough.
Neither of these were particularly strong studies (the first of the two only had a sample-size of 30, if I recall) but they do support one-another on a general hypothesis: chewing plays a large and necessary part in oxygenating your brain.
i could see it being helpful in some cases because of the varied thoughts and conversation can make you think differently about a problem; and a little alcohol.
He needs to do the exact opposite: instead of clearing his mind, he needs to preserve what is in his mind. I often have this problem, and in the middle of talking to my wife about the new drapes I have to sprint off and grab some graph paper, scribble out my thoughts and then go back - otherwise I know I won't be able to hold the conversation. Sometimes if I'm in the middle of a though I don't even realize someone's talking to me for several seconds, and I have to sort of rewind in my head. It's not that I need to say no, it's that I wasn't even expecting something and my brain wasn't ready to switch.
The problem is that you said you're an introvert, and the author explicitly said, in the title, that he is NOT an introvert.
Going to the social gathering wasn't the problem. The problem was him excusing himself from that social gathering.
In fact, going to the social gathering was the solution. He is an extrovert, who had been trying to solve a problem alone for two weeks. Being an extrovert, going to a place where there is a lot of people is gonna do a lot more than going for a walk alone.
Absolutely. Once you hit the wall trying to solve a problem, you better distance yourself from that problem. Otherwise you'll likely be hitting the same wall over and over again.
For me personally, quiet walk probably won't cut it, because I'd still be focusing on that same solution that failed. But switching my mind completely often helps me to stumble upon a fresh way to solve my problem that will likely work.
I think you're missing the point. This article is not titled "How a busy place helped me solve my problem." No, the title fundamentally justifying being not talkative (which I'm not sure really needs justifying: everybody can feel out of place at a party of strangers who work in a completely different industry).
What gets me is this piece comes across as very defensive. Why deride the man missing his elevator when he's on his phone (maybe he's not in the moment because he too is working on a problem) ? Why deride a hoodie at an office party? Why deride Dan for having a different social pattern than you ("Talks too much") especially when it's in line with his career?
> What gets me is this piece comes across as very defensive. Why deride the man missing his elevator when he's on his phone (maybe he's not in the moment because he too is working on a problem) ? Why deride a hoodie at an office party? Why deride Dan for having a different social pattern than you ("Talks too much") especially when it's in line with his career?
Because he's human and he thinks like that and the article isn't self-censoring to appeal to everyone?
I'm not sure if the "moral" here is that he should have really been working instead ... I think it's nerd chic to be above social interaction, to discuss interacting with other people as if it is the pedestrian and useless frivolity of human culture.
Agreed. However, there's a third possible state between "working but in a rut" and "at a social gathering he doesn't want to be at" which I call "everything else".
I didn't say that he should have gone back to work, just that he shouldn't go to social events he's not feeling like attending. I suggested that a long walk would do wonders for unblocking his problem.
This was a charming and well-written essay. I wish mine were half as good. I'm sorry you followed your urge to crap all over it and tell the author how to live his life.
I'm even sorrier your comment is in the top place. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm sorry my comment caused you to feel such a negative reaction.
For what it's worth, I didn't say what I said casually. I've worked through similar issues with a coach over the past few years and being honest with myself about the real motivations behind things has been a profoundly useful experience.
I hope we can talk about this in person together some day. I feel like you've got me all wrong, and the fault lies in my inability to convey my empathy for the author through my words alone.
The message that the author conveys is that one may get revelations in the unexpected moments and places. Fair enough, although nothing groundbreaking here.
The problem is that the author has an extremely condescending attitude and the article reflect this.
The irony in that is that the he's spitting in the dish he eats from - one doesn't need to go at a party where you consider all the people as annoying, imbecile, or a combination of both.
With this context in mind, the article looks like more a self-righteous piece engineered to appeal the technical-minded people, just because it has a technical theme.
I would rather call the article "I'm not an introvert. I'm just a misplaced snob".
When you hear the same quote attributed to two different famous people, that's usually a strong sign that it actually came from somebody obscure. Obscure people's quotes hop to famous people, and not always the same ones.
Haha, typical Internet analysis. The guy blogs about an experience in his life honestly and you come up with some characterization that he's not good at saying no to people, that he's not conflicted about where he wants to go (you know, complicated, like humans are, not simple black-and-white, like your straw man humoids are), and oh? the guy also has a neurosis, too? And irrational. Splendid. Can't you for once read a nicely written anecdote without trying to offer half-baked advice about it?
You don't choose your inspiration moment. Rather, it chooses you (ref: http://blog.germ.io/how-to-get-from-ideas-to-execution/).
Our man had to get out of his problem and think about something totally different to get inspired by an elevator. Think he hasn't seen a missed elevator before? I bet he has. But he had to distract himself from the problem to let the hidden machines in his head get to work.. It's the same reason Archimedes "decided" to go to a bath when his life was on the line. I don't think he was looking for just soapy relaxation there..
Deep down, we all have our little temples.
"If Archimedes went looking for a towel first, you'd have never had a submarine" - qvikr
One technique: put on headphones when you need alone time. I find people rarely interrupt me when I have them on, and I have 20+ people reporting to me. Of course, if you do it too often, people will start to interrupt more, but it's a good signal.
Actually most good writers ( as in book authors ) are FE-doms (Feeling Extroverted) which makes them extraverted and not introverted. They are good at it because they are naturally good at consciously think and reflect about how they affect other people and how other people affect them, which is good for making believable characters.
It still amazes me that people on this board stick to their (hero) introvert/extravert dichotomy instead of actually researching the subject which you would expect engineers and techies to have an inkling to do. Search words, MBTI, Keyser, Jung, Big Five.
A lot of my engineering friends seem to write off the MBTI as some psychology pseudoscience like astrology. I think there's some truth to it, but it's certainly not a cut and dry science.
Of course it is not a science, we don't have the technology yet to probable verify it. But Dario Nardi has made some interesting studies with eeg that maps the functions to areas in the brain.
It is a theory that many people are finding works and confirms their real life experience, short story if it quacks like a duck and if it looks like a duck. But you are ofcause allowed to continue thinking the earth it flat until you are shown prober proof for something else.
I think the take away is that sometimes you can't see the forest through the trees, so look at the sunset.
When I'm working on something and I just can't figure it out, I take my dog for a walk and hold some ridiculous one-way conversation with him. Yeah I know I must look like a manic talking to an eight pound pomeranian, but the point is to put your mind completely somewhere else. It's amazing how the solution just appears when your mind isn't engulfed in the problem.
This is one of the best articles I've read for situations like those. I fall into such situations every now and then! And I'm going to pass this on to my friends as a "nice article". ;)
I would like to see this story rewritten from the point of view of a super hacker who likes to visit bug lists, track down the programmers assigned where they work, and psychologically hack those programmers into finding the solution. He protects his identity wearing only a hoodie.
I'm in a situation now where I might end up taking my first office job in more than a decade.
I'm actually kind of worried that the impact of having other people around will significantly limit my productivity. The few times I have gone to a remote office to do some work, I really suffered with the open plan situation.
I have to make a conscious effort not to be gruff and terse with my SO when he breaks my concentration, and I outright love him. I have to remind myself that other people aren't able to perceive what is going on in the virtual world.
Maybe it will work out fine, but in all honesty having to commute and be somewhere every day at a certain(ish) time is probably what's going to kill the experiment for me, not the other people.
My mother still recounts that at primary school (5-11) all I'd did is day-dream all day and they could never get me to do any work. That's not strictly true of course - I was reading "top class" books when still in infants and was never challenged by the maths we did, taught the teachers about electric circuits (perhaps they were just humouring me).
One of my favourite things to do is simply sit and stare out the window, or sit on the stairs but I'm always thinking about something. Always inventing something in my mind or doing some gedanken or other.
I wish this had been recognised as indicative of internal complex state rather than laziness and vacuity and then I might have been encouraged towards developing those thoughts properly.
... but then I'm prone to blame external forces for my failings.
>I wish this had been recognised as indicative of internal complex state rather than laziness and vacuity and then I might have been encouraged towards developing those thoughts properly.
Agreed. Instead of being encouraged to following our own path and letting our creativity flourish, we've been beaten down for the sake of fitting in.
I honestly can't decide if being like this would make me more happy (because totally dedicated to something that fascinates me) or less (because can't enjoy personal time for itself).
"Seriously, who wears a hoodie at an office party?"
- As the only intern in a small office, I did it last year :) (Partially because I was forced to go)
What doesn't seem to be coming through here is the power of the subconscious to pattern match and work on problems independently of our main heads. The way this guy figured out the solution to his problem was by observing another person's behaviour in an elevator, which matched a pattern in his mind.
aStimulus is often a good thing. I've actually found watching a lot of unrelated everyday interactions helps with designing systems.
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[ 3.7 ms ] story [ 242 ms ] thread[0] http://theheadphonesrule.com/
A friend works in an office where headphones are even banned because they create too much of a barrier to talk to a co-worker. I'd go absolutely crazy there in less than a week.
Any hacker can write code while in a closed office, wearing headphones, shut off from the world. Great hackers can write code while E-mails come in, people drop by with questions, Julie over in BizDev is yacking on the phone with some vendor, and the PM is asking if you've filled out your TPS report this week.
Though even though it might something that great programmers can do, they might be even more effective if they get to remove some of those distractions.
It's like leaving your door halfway open to signal that someone can come in if they want. I might not mind having a visit, but I might mind hearing all the noise, or curious looks from people passing by through the corridor. Hence the 'busy' sign to hang on the doorknob, when needed.
But there aren't any shortcuts, and the janitor is not at your beck and call.
—Richard Hamming http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/YouAndYourResearch.html
Les choses sont contre nous.
—
[0]: http://synapses.co.za/report-on-resistentialism/
Good to see that the french are still putting the work in.
EDIT: it's from the 60s and written by an englishman. now it all makes sense. oh well. and I've just realised what "jean-marie ventre" is about. now I feel a fool.
At which point it's time for me to go take a break, talk to other people, have a cup of tea. Then come back - take a brief look at the original problem - and then, if nothing occurs, to work on a related problem before coming back to it and seeing if I can make any more progress.
Maybe it's just me, but protracted work on something I don't feel I'm making progress on seems to stop me thinking.
If the solution for a complicated problem comes to you this way, you have managed to see dozens of moving parts at just the right time, from just the right angle, in your mind. It is incredibly hard to hold on to that, and writing it out in notes takes several pages.
When that solution comes to you, you cling on to it for dear life until you can put it into a form that works - several pages of notes, a test proving your point, a large diagram. Whatever it is. None of those answers can be captured with a phone app.
The point is, words might not be the best way to capture your insight. You have _something_ in your mind, and it doesn't always translate into few words. To quote Blaise Pascal: "I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."
>He wasn’t paying attention. He missed the elevator.
>I bet you that’s exactly what happens in my code. If the remote end hangs up while I’m waiting for my authentication tokens, my app won’t notice, error out, and leak the socket.
You should be able to capture that thought in a few words. That will let you get back in the moment when you need to while also allowing you to fully engage with the people talking to you at the party.
I can enjoy myself at a party, whether I'm a wallflower or not, but after prolonged socializing I need to spend some time alone.
Please do not mistake introversion for social anxiety.
Introvert/Extrovert describes how social intelligence relates to energy increase and decrease. Introverts are more rapidly exhausted in using their social intelligence, whereas extroverts are more rapidly refreshed when deploying their social intelligence. The "way we feel" about social encounters is a symptom of (and thus a correlation with) the rise and fall of energy as we are part of the scene — where typically when we are losing energy, we're less inclined to view the situation positively (social anxiety then is engendered), largely do to our own lack of introspection and the effects of our poor participation/adjustment.
It's more costly for introverts to engage socially, and so the rewards (take aways) are strictly only harder to perceive.
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[0]: http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts
My problem with this story is that it makes it sounds like it's Dan's fault for walking up to the author at a party/social event. We've all been there -- an all-consuming problem or an unexpected moment of clarity. Or maybe you realize something that puts you into a sour mood. We can't expect those around us to be mind readers.
At the end of it, he recalled the interesting ID that she originally queried about, as they conversed, told her, then as she passed on to her next endeavor, her closing comment was, "Now let me try to remember that number all the way back to my desk."
Now granted, this is just an ID — not a bug, an "idea" or something embedded in some complicated (dis)array of logic — but she engaged the person whom she asked, and through human interaction and grace, the two pulled out an answer together. Then she took it in strides that memory is up to her.
I remember when I used to be more like her — and less like this antihuman, perpetually brooding, code-distressed, oh-can-you-leave-me-to-my-precious-mind sob-story archetype that you rage-hackers (again perpetually) perpetuate.
Why do we romanticize this? It's becoming obnoxious — the glorification of obnoxiousness. Your mind is your garden, and no one owes you peace of mind. And if people wish to browse your garden, you should be absolutely fucking thrilled.
Why are you propping up and romanticizing this "do no enter" sign at the entrance of your gardens?
You know — there's a Java dev here that often times will start off an interruption with, "How can I provide you with outstanding customer service today?"
How about this? Forget your "engineer" metaphor. Forget your "prodigious self-torment". If you want to fold to the Machines — that's YOUR M.O. Stop sharing with piss about it. Stop whining. Our job has one distinct role, and that's to protect EACH OTHER from this massively complicated world of machines. Do your goddamn fellow human a favor, and pay more attention to HUMANS than you do machines.
Maybe your life will be filled with more spontaneity, warmth, and gifts — because all a fucking computer is going to give you is rules. One key subcomponent of our job as developers, programmers, etc. is Customer Service and that's because humans first.
Why else is "human-readable" a thing?
(Sincerely agreed.)
this is so, so true.
We're always trying to make computers more human, so why do we make ourselves more like machines?
[edit] I'm taking the stance that there was a good reason for his going. Otherwise the question is just "why did he go?"[/edit]
Why wasn't he in the moment at the party? I suppose there's several reasons. I'm going to assume he was having a great time, someone that he was talking to left and then he wandered back into thought rather than going off to talk to someone else. That's fine, whatever. So, now I wonder where I'm supposed to go from here with this piece. The thing is this can't be about are getting flustered at people for interrupting your thought. It doesn't look like it. Therefore, I'm going to assume it's something like I'm doing right now: stream of consciousness. If that's the case, then, neat! I've been there! Very cool. Sorry it got awkward for you there. The other guy is a CEO, he understands being in thought all the time. "Just one sec, I gotta write this down" and then scribbling a bunch of notes wouldn't be too offensive to a man in charge of a whole company. He's done it plenty of times, and those ideas come at any random moment. I wouldn't be offended by a brief scribble before some proper salutations. After all, that CEO has now been given your undivided attention after about 5 seconds of scribbling (presuming you can write something short down that can be used to jog your memory). People like undivided attention. Makes them feel important, be they your boss, co-worker, friend, spouse or child.
Now, what is this story being used for. "I am not an introvert. I am just busy." No, you're not busy. Or, at least, your busy-ness shouldn't be with work things right now. You're at a party and should be in party mode with your friends. It's kinda like a father going home and saying he's going to spend time with his children, only to completely space out when he's playing catch. His mind should have been on his children. Your time is with your friends, there. Not giving them your attention is rude to them. "I am not socially awkward / going through the motions. I had a sudden thought I need to write down 'real quick" but that wouldn't be as catchy of a title.
There's those little notebooks that fit in front pockets that people buy and carry around. Maybe this is what those are for; or, as someone else in this thread pointed out, that's what the 'notes' app on your phone is for. I'd honestly not considered that is a reason, or if I have, I just re-realized that's what they can be for. Anyway,
We can take this to some other situations where it wouldn't be acceptable to be sucked into this train of thought: a meeting about a different feature at the job you're working at. They want you present on their tasks, too.
Live in the moment, be that completely absorbed in your current work task, or hanging out with your friends, laughing about stupid things, or hearing a friend talk about his story.
I'm a shy introvert, but I see this fellow's problem a mile away: he needs to get better at saying no to people. Sure it's important to be present for social functions, and there's an art to "making an appearance" that is just part of playing the game. But if you're consciously aware that you should be somewhere else... GO.
A room full of tech geeks will get this. Actually, they most likely won't notice that you're leaving. That particular neurosis is rooted in ego: part of you wants someone to notice that you're missing, so that you can be not just doing something important but be a hero about it.
Deep down, we're all frequently irrational in similar ways.
"I don't want to be alone, but I want to be left alone." - Stephen Fry
=> Besides the ego, there's also a cultural component. My Finnish friends tend to excel at leaving without saying goodbye or hugging, not because they have weaker ego but because that's a part of their culture. That said, in my culture (South Korea), your saying nothing when leaving will immediately strike people as socially incorrect or weird to say the least.
As for the cultural differences regarding the ritual of leaving a social event, I really enjoy hearing about how things happen in other places. I would have had no idea.
That said, I get the sense that the author is either in Canada (.ca domain) or California, where people leave parties without ceremony all of the time. It would actually be far stranger to make a big deal of your departure.
But now that I'm reading about Korean culture on this post, I think this may have been an extremely isolated incident. I don't know what was different about the event I went to however. Could it have been somewhat Americanized? Or maybe an extreme emergency situation where the person had to leave immediately?
And no, spending more time solving the bug instead of attending social events isn't the cure either. You need to physically remove yourself from a problem if you want a fresh perspective. Go sleep, hang out, eat something, get back. There are very few problems that I haven't solved in a career full of challenges and this one will not be any different, I just need to respect the mechanics of coming up with a solution.
I did suggest that the author should take a walk to clear his mind, and not attempt to zen out at a social gathering. I also suggested that the author shouldn't go to social gatherings that he doesn't want to be at.
Learning to say no without anxiety is a super power.
Also, social events and casual conversation is a great way to be social and engage in conversation while excising rubber duck debugging. So long as you make it entertaining for the other party, it's fun... explaining how stuff works for people who are curious is usually fun for both parties.
It's different strokes for different folks for sure, but don't limit your stroke options... and try not to get shampoo in your keyboard.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/22/chewing.gum.benefits/in...
1. People who get migraines are probably chewing too much gum (that is, chewing too much in general.)
2. There's a sharp increase in dementia when people lose their teeth, and this is likely because they aren't chewing enough.
Neither of these were particularly strong studies (the first of the two only had a sample-size of 30, if I recall) but they do support one-another on a general hypothesis: chewing plays a large and necessary part in oxygenating your brain.
Going to the social gathering wasn't the problem. The problem was him excusing himself from that social gathering.
In fact, going to the social gathering was the solution. He is an extrovert, who had been trying to solve a problem alone for two weeks. Being an extrovert, going to a place where there is a lot of people is gonna do a lot more than going for a walk alone.
For me personally, quiet walk probably won't cut it, because I'd still be focusing on that same solution that failed. But switching my mind completely often helps me to stumble upon a fresh way to solve my problem that will likely work.
What gets me is this piece comes across as very defensive. Why deride the man missing his elevator when he's on his phone (maybe he's not in the moment because he too is working on a problem) ? Why deride a hoodie at an office party? Why deride Dan for having a different social pattern than you ("Talks too much") especially when it's in line with his career?
Because he's human and he thinks like that and the article isn't self-censoring to appeal to everyone?
I didn't say that he should have gone back to work, just that he shouldn't go to social events he's not feeling like attending. I suggested that a long walk would do wonders for unblocking his problem.
I'm even sorrier your comment is in the top place. This is why we can't have nice things.
For what it's worth, I didn't say what I said casually. I've worked through similar issues with a coach over the past few years and being honest with myself about the real motivations behind things has been a profoundly useful experience.
I hope we can talk about this in person together some day. I feel like you've got me all wrong, and the fault lies in my inability to convey my empathy for the author through my words alone.
The problem is that the author has an extremely condescending attitude and the article reflect this.
The irony in that is that the he's spitting in the dish he eats from - one doesn't need to go at a party where you consider all the people as annoying, imbecile, or a combination of both.
With this context in mind, the article looks like more a self-righteous piece engineered to appeal the technical-minded people, just because it has a technical theme.
I would rather call the article "I'm not an introvert. I'm just a misplaced snob".
I have no idea about this quote in particular, though; it seems like a job for http://quoteinvestigator.com.
You can't help where inspiration hits you, it can be anywhere but you don't need to drop everything when that happens.
Delay the gratification you seek by solving the problem.
Get a notepad write it down and continue enjoying the social event you can fix the damn thing when you get into the office tomorrow.
Then again most of us don't care much for social stuff i personally like playing that game too.
Being social is a skill like any other and it's very useful one to have. Gets you what you want a lot faster.
Smiling continuously and nodding away into the distance usually works for me.
Deep down, we all have our little temples.
"If Archimedes went looking for a towel first, you'd have never had a submarine" - qvikr
-Audrey Hepburn
Along with what I would imagine is a sizable chunk of the best writers. Writing is rarely a social activity.
It still amazes me that people on this board stick to their (hero) introvert/extravert dichotomy instead of actually researching the subject which you would expect engineers and techies to have an inkling to do. Search words, MBTI, Keyser, Jung, Big Five.
It is a theory that many people are finding works and confirms their real life experience, short story if it quacks like a duck and if it looks like a duck. But you are ofcause allowed to continue thinking the earth it flat until you are shown prober proof for something else.
When I'm working on something and I just can't figure it out, I take my dog for a walk and hold some ridiculous one-way conversation with him. Yeah I know I must look like a manic talking to an eight pound pomeranian, but the point is to put your mind completely somewhere else. It's amazing how the solution just appears when your mind isn't engulfed in the problem.
Edit: I misread the comment. Thought you were explaining the problem to your dog. I'm wrong. Different thing. :)
Still, your way also works astonishingly well, too.
I'm actually kind of worried that the impact of having other people around will significantly limit my productivity. The few times I have gone to a remote office to do some work, I really suffered with the open plan situation.
I have to make a conscious effort not to be gruff and terse with my SO when he breaks my concentration, and I outright love him. I have to remind myself that other people aren't able to perceive what is going on in the virtual world.
Maybe it will work out fine, but in all honesty having to commute and be somewhere every day at a certain(ish) time is probably what's going to kill the experiment for me, not the other people.
One of my favourite things to do is simply sit and stare out the window, or sit on the stairs but I'm always thinking about something. Always inventing something in my mind or doing some gedanken or other.
I wish this had been recognised as indicative of internal complex state rather than laziness and vacuity and then I might have been encouraged towards developing those thoughts properly.
... but then I'm prone to blame external forces for my failings.
Agreed. Instead of being encouraged to following our own path and letting our creativity flourish, we've been beaten down for the sake of fitting in.
aStimulus is often a good thing. I've actually found watching a lot of unrelated everyday interactions helps with designing systems.