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Um, I've been meaning to buy some tools to fix my iMac. I hope they stick around until I can afford them. What bad luck I've been getting lately. :-(
Given the date today I'd be tempted to not take the accouncement too seriously - it is April Fools Day after all.
D'oh! I am relieved and kicking myself at the same time!
"Apple is working hard to make devices last long enough to be upgraded or irrelevant, making repairability an antiquated notion"
Could we kill all of the stupid April Fools' articles?
What a coincidence: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7506793

Could you all take care of this one as test case, please?

(Edit: That was harsher than I should have been. Sorry.)

Seems a bit unnecessary.
You mean piling on a specific case? You're right. That was a mistake.

It's going to take me a while to get my balance with the public moderation thing, and I overdid it in this case. Sorry to all and especially the OP.

Oh loosen up. I find it's something a bit different to look forward to one day a year. It's never the height of comic genius, no, but it's a bit of fun in an otherwise pretty dry industry.
Thing is, though, it's the same jokes every year and after 25 years of Internetting, it's thoroughly damned boring and tedious.
This is what the down arrow is for. If enough people agree with you, then these articles will not appear on the front page. Problem solved.
Sadly, I have no down arrow (yet) and flagging seems over the top.
There is no ability to down-vote submissions.
Just consider April Fools' articles as a handy guide to people you should unfollow, sites to remove from RSS, businesses to not give your money to, etc.
BTW, I bet someone could claim market manipulation and win a lawsuit (if he could somehow prove that the April 1st joke was too credible and it affected share prices, for example).

I hope everyone has some sense of humor, though.

I have a feeling they're just going to kill them off since it seems more like bad PR when they score Apple products.
Calling April Fools. Well done, but basic premise is just too obvious.
Totally forgot about April's fools ... glad that it's (probably) not true as I don't see Apple keeping a company like iFixit.
http://www.ifixit.com/smartphone_replaceability

I like clear guideline instead of stupid self repair nobody care about, thanks Apple for fixing iFixit.

"iPhone 5: Your battery should be dead by now. Time to replace your phone."

I knew it, I needed to go to the Apple store.