WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE (front end dev plz)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1riTwjwOiHJDik3wIE-RNDps72qF5MhqvE0PwTUWXHXA/edit?usp=sharing

Hi Tech Graphic Designer/Website Developer Wanted! Wow! Great Opportunity!!!!!

Are you a cutting-edge graphic designer/developer with experience in Netscape Navigator, Internet Explorer 6, HTML, Flash and Kidpix? Are you a firm believer in Dell Desktops and Blackberry cell phones? If you like straightforward websites for clients involved in: corporate law, big pharma, genetically modified foods, Broadway theater - Sc. X. X Pl, etc. you’re the perfect candidate to come work with us at FC Flamingo!

But Wait!

Before you apply: Do you: Need constant direction? Have a penchant for thinking inside-the-box? Detest loud music? Love small, well-trained dogs? Eat weird, exotic food while at work in the office?

Are you: Deeply religious? Someone who remembers the Bush/Cheney era as the best time in our country’s history? A Virgin?

If you’re answer was YES to any (and hopefully more) of the above, then don’t hesitate to email jobs@fcflamingo.com immediately! We Want YOU!

NOTE: We are a drug/alcohol free agency.

But seriously: HTML5/CSS3/JS+JQuery/SCSS or LESS/CoffeScript/HAML/socketio/ko/Yeoman/Grunt/Bower/Rails/Wordpress/Skateboar