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Ask YC: Spouses

14 points by mwmanning ↗ HN
Have any YC founders been married? How did you handle things financially? Were you able to focus on your company without feeling like you were neglecting your significant other? Did you feel like you could have been more productive if you had be more solitary?

18 comments

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davidw
Married - finances are tight - best if she can work at something relatively well paying. I have time for her, always (money comes and goes, but a good woman is something to hold onto!). I could be more productive alone, sure. But I'd also spend more time "out looking" or stressing about being alone, so the stability helps a lot too.
mrtron
I think having someone support you through the rollercoaster ride is worth it. Although, most spouse's risk tolerance will be lower than the entrepreneur's.

A spouse is kind of like an anchor...that complains every time it gets dragged behind you :P

imsteve
I just have to say that I think the idea of a spouse supporting you in such a non-glamorous, anti-social activity and making you perform better than you otherwise would is a myth. A romantic myth, but still, no more.
abstractbill
From personal experience, it's not.
imsteve
For some less consuming occupations, of course.

Anyway, I've found it best to keep my highly stressful occupation and relationships as separated as possible.

makimaki
I don't have a spouse so I can't really answer the first part of the question but being solitary definitely works for me. It's easy to get a lot done when you don't have any distractions.. albeit pleasant ones sometimes. :)
mattmaroon
I got married in the middle of YC. Went to YC, went home to get married, went back to Cambridge, went to honeymoon, back to Cambridge. It was pretty crazy.

Financially it was fine, my wife has a good job. It's far better to have two people living off of one income than one person living off of zero. (I had my own anyway, but even if not, we could have swung it due to that.)

As far as being productive goes, it depends on your relationship. One of my cofounders is pseudo-married and his girlfriend pushes him to work harder. Another has a recent girlfriend who absorbs far too much of his time and mental effort. Being married has no bearing on this, it's all in how you handle relationships.

Also there's more to productivity than the quantity of working hours. Someone who makes you happy (which better be your spouse) increases your output when you do work.

staunch
> Also there's more to productivity than the quantity of working hours. Someone who makes you happy (which better be your spouse) increases your output when you do work.

For double effect tell your spouse "There's more to our relationship than the quantity of time we spend together. A job that makes me happy increases the quality of our time when we are together."

imsteve
Aka: The more I'm away from you, the more I like being with you.

I wouldn't focus on explaining what makes you happy if you want this conversation to end well.

angstrom
If nothing else, it's a good way to test how healthy your relationship is. I already knew the answer before I joined a startup. We were watching Devil Wears Prada and she quipped how whiney the main character's boyfriend was about her career. Relationships really are better when you're doing what you both enjoy. She may not have enjoyed her job, but it set her on the path to the job she wanted.

Now excuse me while I punch myself in the nuts for knowing so much about a chick flick.

imsteve
Dude, you got suckered into watching that one too? Luckily the theater was almost empty so we did things other than watch...
regularjoe
I'm Spider-Man! If I can be married and fight the bad guys, you can start a company. No spider-sense requiered.
apgwoz
Perhaps your spelling-sense was off? (required)
iamelgringo
I'm married, and I'm planning my first start-up next summer. My wife doesn't have to work, so she's planning on being a co-founder. As we've worked through ideas, we've purposefully thought about businesses that she would be interested in and passionate about. We've settled on one, and she's starting to work on the start-up now while I'm finishing school.

I actually think it's a shame that there aren't more women founders. There are many problems that women face that could be solved with software. A single hacker fresh out of college won't think of these problems much less solving them. Even then, single male hackers would be terrible at solving these problems. Theres a huge hole in the software market that's begging to be filled. Having a my wife as a founder is a strategic advantage. She thinks of a lot of things that I would never think of. And, she's worked in high-tech before. I'm career changing.

Besides, we get to work together, which is something that we've dreamed of and worked towards for years.

ptn
What problems? Maybe fashion stuff?
ptn
I really meant that, no need to down-vote me. I was thinking about color combinations for the front page and stuff like that.
nanijoe
Having your wife as a co-founder is going to severely test the limits of your relationship. Be prepared.
ralph
> Did you feel like you could have been more productive if you had be more solitary?

Yes.