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Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

62 points by cromulent ↗ HN
Coworkers often touch my laptop screen, jabbing at some interesting item. I don't like it. Actually, I think it is rude, but I feel bad about requesting that they don't do it, or even quietly getting out my eyeglass polishing cloth and removing the mark in front of them.

Is it OK to touch someone's laptop screen?

Or am I being over-sensitive?

As a freelancer, I have my own (expensive) laptop, whereas many co-workers have company-bought ones, but I felt that way even when I had a company one.

133 comments

[ 3.9 ms ] story [ 232 ms ] thread
mtinkerhess
I'd say it's more rude to touch someone else's screen than to ask someone not to touch your screen. Go ahead and tell them not to dirty up your screen.

The situation with the company laptop is a little more complicated because the property is, in some ways, as much theirs as it is yours. Still, you're using the equipment so you have a right to keep it smudge-free, whether by wiping off the mark or by asking them not to do that. Hopefully they'd take the hint if they saw you wiping away the smudge.

stijnm
It is not OK for others to smudge/grease/smear/taint/foul or otherwise violate your screen. No matter how expensive the screen is or who owns it.

I used to be one of those until I forced myself to take a pencil everywhere for if I could not hold back the urge. This keeps the screen clean and makes pointing more accurate.

My advice: Don't feel bad about telling them to back off - they may not even know this is not done. And if they do it again, compare it to if they had to use a (sweaty) friend's keyboard or mobile phone. So, limiting possible exposure to this is in everyone's favour.

mgrouchy
I agree completely, people do this all the time, waving pens at my screen, etc. I think the easiest way to do it was the way you suggested, most people will get the hint if you just polish the smudge they left in front of them. You don't have to be rude or anything. You can even be discreet about it. People will still get the point.
joe_the_user
A "space violation" which doesn't involve actual damage to something might be a matter of social/cultural etiquette. Different cultures have different distances that people stand apart from each other or different amounts of touching between friends and acquaintances.

But I think its always over-the-line when a touch can actual do some small amount of damage to the item - any touch to laptop screen is going to be reducing its lifetime at least a bit.

ewjordan
But I think its always over-the-line when a touch can actual do some small amount of damage to the item - any touch to laptop screen is going to be reducing its lifetime at least a bit. Bah. Well, in theory, maybe.

But can anyone here honestly say that they've ever had to get rid of a laptop even one day earlier than they would have anyways because of the damaging effects of finger oils on the screen? There are so many things in a laptop that degrade more quickly than the screen surface, I just don't think it's a very legitimate worry.

What's the worst case scenario from touching a laptop screen a lot, other than the minor annoyance of having to wipe the crap off from time to time?

__david__
Reducing its lifetime? How on earth can a touch reduce the lifetime of your laptop lcd? The insides that actually create the pictures are separated by layers of plastic you know...
Tangurena
I had a co-worker who used to stop what she was doing, and blurt some variation of "here, let me help you clean that fingerprint off my monitor" and then proceed to engage in her ritual of cleaning the CRT (this predated LCD monitors). Several other coworkers intentionally would poke the monitor with their fingers (the grease from the side of your nose is great for this), just to get a rise out of her.

The day she pulled her little routine on one of the vice presidents was her last day at the office. She was out of the building before lunch.

olliesaunders
This is almost making me angry. Someone would fire someone else for that? Please tell me you're not saying that.
codyrobbins
The company shouldn't fire someone for not knowing their place in front of a vice president and making a snide remark? I think that's absolutely acceptable. If the vice president wants to touch your screen, you're not really in a place to chew him out about it. I would venture to guess that doing so was most likely indicative of broader issues with the employee in this case, i.e., if she doesn't know her place in front of upper-level executives, how is she interacting with important customers, contractors, vendors, government officials, etc.?
olliesaunders
This is hacker news dude! We hate authoritarians throwing their weight around.
codyrobbins
I stand by what I said. Just because I'm a hacker I don't have to have a misplaced sense of my own self-importance in front of someone like a vice president.
olliesaunders
I wouldn't do what this person did in front of a VP either but being fired for it is not something I approve of. Although, as another commenter mentioned, if it was delivered in a significantly snotty way being fired becomes quite predictable. Authority believes it has earned the right not be spoken down to but real winners won't care, much.
wmeredith
Whatever. Maybe the Vice President worked 80 hour weeks for 5 years and has paid for her monitor, her chair, her desk and the building she works in.
Tangurena
She failed to show sufficient deference to the VP (who in other posts I've frequently called "crazy french lady"), who had on occasion gone to the board of directors and gotten other VPs fired.

As developers, we like to pretend that we're above office politics, or that our tools are our own, and other things like that. Nope. To managers, we're all as interchangable as furniture. And it wouldn't surprise me that much of the offshoring is due to the combination of 2 facts: that they have the power and we don't; and that the jocks are pissed off at the nerds because we don't kiss their asses enough. Just look at the title of one of the latest fad articles and books to come out of the Harvard Business Journal: does I.T. matter?. Remember what PG says about mental fads? "What scares me is that there are moral fashions too. They're just as arbitrary, and just as invisible to most people. But they're much more dangerous. Fashion is mistaken for good design; moral fashion is mistaken for good."

http://www.c2.com/cgi/wiki?PlugCompatibleInterchangeableEngi...

http://www.nicholasgcarr.com/doesitmatter.html

http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html

mgrouchy
Sounds like she was snide about it. However, that is a dumb reason to fire someone. I would not have wanted to work for that company.
Tangurena
It was the IT dept of a consulting company. The IT managers jested that watching Office Space was an occupation requirement, as the whole company was a bunch of the Bob & Bobs. This place tried to pitch themselves as a smaller and older (mis)management consulting company, in the lines of McKinsey, E&Y or KPMG.
alking
That might come across as a little passive-aggressive, I think bringing it up and asking either they they not do it or they they use the back of their finger as others have suggested is a better idea.
DrJokepu
Pen is something different though as it doesn't live a fingerprint or any trace. People touching my display with their fingers really pisses me off but a pen (or a ruler or anything) okay for me. Or even if they must, then at least touch it with the tip of their nails and not with the skin.
jvdh
If someone would do this to me, it would make me feel very awkward. I know, it is awkward that someone has touched your screen, but that is no reason to make them feel bad about it too.

I think it is so much more polite to just ask people not to do it again. Just asking them will get the point across and will not make them feel awkward.

dryicerx 

  don't touch it
  slaps with large trout
  so sad a smudge
keefe
I remember getting chewed out when I was assisting in some training class for my company and accidentally touched this guy's screen.... I think it's a pretty common gripe and there's nothing inherently wrong with asking them not to do it, but if I were freelancing? I certainly would not be complaining about trivia like this. In social situations, I find it best to be positive, positive, positive!
[deleted]
(comment deleted)
jhancock
I ask people to use the back of their finger (the fingernail side), instead of the part with all the oil. Its a nice compromise and keeps off most smudges while not taking away people's ability to express themselves.

As for a pen, that simply warrants breaking someone's hand for a first offense. Word will get around quick after that ;).

jlees
Sometimes if I'm pointing something out I can't help but touch the screen by mistake but I'm always apologetic about it :/
reid
I've tried moving my laptop further away from their hand, but that was apparently too subtle. Next time I'll be more vocal about it.
californiaguy
If you don't have the personality to tell them, just print out a small label that says "Please don't touch the screen" and tape it to your laptop.
vijayr
or "Thank you for not touching the screen"
pbhj
Or "touch the screen and I'll fscking kill you" ...
dtby
Achtung! Alle touristen und non-technischen lookenpeepers! Das machine is nicht fur fingerpoken und mittengrabben. Is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzen sparken. Das machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur gerwerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das cottenpicken hands in das pockets. Relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.
skwaddar
“No Smoking. No Spitting. The MGT.”
mad44
Boy, it seems like your post hit a nerve. On the other hand (no pun intended), we look forward to buying Apple's tablet... Go figure.
Timothee
If the Apple tablet is real, it will most likely come with that fancy-schmancy oleophobic screen they put on the iPhone 3GS. So, no problemo: put it in your oversized pocket, take it out, and "boom" (tm) it's clean.
duncanj
I think it's fine to touch the screen.
vijayr
only when it is a touch screen, not the normal ones
JeremyChase
You think it is fine to touch the screen, but this thread is showing you that many people do not agree.

Please do not touch my screen.

SwellJoe
I've seen children do this (and asked them politely to look but not touch), but adults, really?

You could keep a couple of laser pointers handy for the touchy ones. Just hand it to them whenever they show up. Everybody likes lasers.

tsally
Wow I'm hearing tons of complicated ways to avoid direct conversation. If you pay several thousand dollars for a machine, I'm pretty sure you get to decide to gets to do what with it. If it is your companies screen, you are still responsible for it, so the same thing applies. Next time it happens, just politely explain how you feel. There's no need for the passive aggressive solutions that a few people are suggesting.
devin
The reason people have all these passive aggressive solutions is because they feel kind of embarrassed that they have such an attachment to an inanimate object. It's like telling someone not to touch your baby.

I know most people will claim that it's just the cost of the item, but in reality I think it's that they're addicted to that little window into the machine. I know I am.

Sephr
It's more likely because you don't want to have to clean fingerprints off the screen.
devin
Wow, this is proof that this place is turning into Digg more and more every day.
nihilocrat
I think the passive aggressive solutions exist because most people have terrible communication skills. It seems like it all comes from the assumption that if you actually disagree with someone or want them to behave a different way around you, you must be a huge asshole that no one will respect. If we communicate indirectly, we get to claim the higher moral ground because we were merely "passive" while the other person OBVIOUSLY didn't get our EXTREMELY OBVIOUS indirect message and therefore must be not only an asshole but an idiot.

Now the other guy is the rude idiot. Problem solved!

jeffcoat
The goal of the better suggestions isn't to avoid confrontation, but to remind that there are ways to make requests that are more and less likely to get you what you want. Accusatory, sarcastic, and snide tones are well into the "less likely to get you what want", zone; making yourself out to be the one with the problem, and framing the request as asking a co-worker to do you a small favor is much more likely to have a positive result.
IsaacSchlueter
Yes, exactly. "Please don't touch my screen" has always worked fine for me. Especially if you get it out quick before they actually make contact, always say it politely, and make sure that you repeat the warning 100% of the time that there's a finger heading towards the screen.

    "Hey, you see that thing right--"
    "Please don't touch my screen."
    "I didn't touch it, though."
    "I know.  Thank you.  Please keep it that way."
    "Ok... anyway, the thing right here--" (pointing)
    "Please don't touch my screen."
    (mildly annoyed, steps back a foot) "So, the thing under the red bit there..."
The downside is that the obsessive screen smudger will be a little bit annoyed at you. Which, in my opinion, is better that you being annoyed at them. At least it's in the open. And, there's a good chance that they won't come bother you f2f as much, unless it's really necessary, which is a bonus.

If that doesn't work, just work remotely.

And, seriously, what kind of unevolved cretin can't communicate without pointing anyway? It's embarrassing. If you have to point, point with the mouse, or learn to use Skitch.

ryanwaggoner
We clearly have very different ideas of what "polite" means. Your little exchange makes you come off sounding like a prized asshole.

And, seriously, what kind of unevolved cretin can't communicate without pointing anyway?

This is ridiculous. Pointing serves a very useful purpose in communication, and is often far more efficient than verbal cues. Have you really never pointed at anything while trying to communicate something to someone? If not, you should really try it. You'll be amazed at how easy and effective it is :)

IsaacSchlueter
Yes, I know what pointing accomplishes. But it's also very effective to communicate without marking up my screen in greasy finger prints. Everyone — everyone — who thinks that they can point at something on a screen effectively without touching it, is just fooling themselves. You will touch my screen if you point at it, and I'll know you touched it, because your fingerprint will be there, painted in disgusting finger grease distorting my beautiful pixels. Maybe not every time, but most of the time.

There is a place for prized asshole behavior. Frankly, touching someone's screen when it clearly bothers them is pretty damn rude, imo. If the only way to get them to stop is to make them uncomfortable doing it in your presence, that seems fair to me.

I'd react roughly the same way if someone rubbed their genitals on my screen while I was using it. It's that offensive to me. (Actually, I wouldn't mind the genitals quite as much. They're probably cleaner.)

tsally
There is a place for prized asshole behavior.

Probably not. There's always a better way to say something. Acting like an asshole is just a fallback for not understanding how to effectively communicate. I'd be annoyed at a coworker if I had the dialogue you posted above with him/her.

ryanwaggoner
I'd react roughly the same way if someone rubbed their genitals on my screen while I was using it. It's that offensive to me.

Really? You'd politely say "Please don't touch my screen with your genitals"?

I don't know you or anything, but it seems like life is too short to get this worked up over something so trivial.

skwaddar
I just pointed at your screen, did I leave a mark ?
cschep
I always start the sentence with...

"I know this is weird, but..."

It helps me get to the actual point of direct confrontation, but by blaming it on myself it helps absorb some of the awkward.

Truly though, I hate it when people touch my laptop's screen!

kailoa
Big big upvote. This works much better than the passive-agressive method of silently glaring and cleaning your screen in front of co-worker.

Here are more examples of the same technique:

"This is totally my own OCD, but it drives me crazy if..."

"Just a sec, I have to apologize, but..."

"It's probably just me, but it kills me when..."

(Don't forget to smile and be apologetic, tone is key)

cakesy
Damn, what a bunch of sissies. Don't apologise for stuff that isn't your fault, tell them not to touch your screen. No need to make an excuse. Don't be rude, but don't be ridiculous over the top apologetic either.
harpastum
Well, I think the reason most people try to be nice/humorous is that the screen-poker is generally not aware that they are doing something wrong. They view their computer as a piece of furniture--something that sits on their desks.

Making a joke or lighthearted comment is a lot more effective than saying "hey there, I know you just use your work computer for MS Office, solitaire, and Facebook, but I care more about this computer than most people care for their children. Keep your dirty mitts off of it."

They'll probably never understand why you care so much for your computer, so it's better just to pretend you have some 'weird' issue with people touching your stuff.

skwaddar
If they are not an asshole "please don't touch my screen" is all you need to say.
rjurney
Let out a little scream like a madman, "aaaahhh! no touch screen!"

Silliness works.

Or my favorite: "Touching my computer is like touching my penis. Seriously."

nudded
That is definitly one to remember. And it is actually good advice, making a joke out of it will make the other person feel less bad.
jsackmann
Unless they keep touching the screen. Then it could get awkward.
nudded
As long as your laptop doesn't increase in size, you should not worry
rjurney
Just up the ante. Scream like a madman, do a rain dance. Silly scales.
vinutheraj
I don't think your favorite line will work if it's a female co-worker though !
lucraft
Well, she's certainly not going to touch your screen again.
simonista
In my opinion comedy only works in situations like these if you're also a bit silly/comic in other situations. Otherwise it's obvious that you're just using it to try to diffuse the confrontation and it doesn't work.
rjurney
True. I'm silly most of the time.
__david__
Ok, if someone used your favorite line on me it would provoke an entire hand rubbing across the screen, but then I'm a bit of a real life troll. :-)
shard
I don't think what you would have done would be trolling, it'd be making a pass at him.
indrax
Take out a piece of clear tape, put it where they touched the screen, take it off and put it on a blank piece of paper, then write their name and the finger they used on the paper. If they ask say it's "for my records."
aerique
Or if they're wearing glasses touch those with your greasy fingers. They'll get the hint.
cduan
I'd also offer them an option, like a mouse to point with.
pbhj
What use is a mouse if they don't know how to use a finger to point without touching? They'd probably start off by licking it or something.
lucifer
There is nothing weird about wanting to protect your eye sight. This is one of those commonalities that does not require explanation. Its a shared experience: nobody('s eyes) likes looking at smudged up screens.
nailer
It's etiquette that a lot of people don't know. For example, most people who don't work in technology (and a few who do) don't see a need to look away when you're typing a password - just as most people who don't work in (insert profession here) don't know about (insert profession based behavior expectation here).
quellhorst
I type dvorak on qwerty keyboards, I don't care if they are looking.
loup-vaillant
I type Bépo (french Dvorak) on a blank keyboard, so they know I don't care.
pistoriusp
I hate that. It's the same as people starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." And then saying something that they're not really sorry about.

It's not silly to not want someone to touch your screen. I think you should just come out and say it. "Please don't touch my monitor."

bts
Personally I would use the "I'm sorry, but..." approach because I'd be legitimately sorry that I have to take conversation into an awkward direction for a moment. I think the direct approach, while some would appreciate it, is taking a bit of a gamble: there's too much of a chance the person could take it the wrong way.
pistoriusp
I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?
gdp
Starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." is a very British thing to do, in my observation (and Bill Bryson's, for that matter).
drobilla
This is what I do, and it's never a problem. The reasons why you wouldn't want somebody touching your scren are pretty obvious. I'm not apologizing to someone else for /them/ smudging their filthy hand marks all over /my/ screen!

There's a "please", it's not like it's rude...

chrischen
I would drop the please and just say "Oh, could you not touch the screen" and then explain why.
pistoriusp
I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?
pistoriusp
I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?
TweedHeads
Create a funny web page and have it bookmarked on your browser.

Whenever someone approaches you, quickly switch to that web page.

donttouchmyfuckingscreenorillkillyou.com is available.

TweedHeads
This bookmarklet may help:

  javascript:document.write("<h1 style='font-size:10em'>Don't touch my screen!</h1>")
TweedHeads
Also this one (Firefox only)

  javascript:(function (){document.querySelector("body").style.MozTransform="rotate(180deg)";})()
_pius
It's completely unacceptable to touch someone else's laptop screen without asking.
cesare
I hate when people do this. And I'm surprised by how many people don't understand the problem.

It's not necessary to touch the screen even if you're pointing something. Grab the mouse (or use the touchpad) or just point without touching. Is it so difficult?

It's obviously a habit acquired by interacting with paper and less fragile (and expensive) media. But for me it is a sign of ignorance.

I hate this so much that I avoid to bring my laptop at meetings unless it is strictly necessary.

zmimon
> Grab the mouse (or use the touchpad) or just point without touching. Is it so difficult?

Point without touching please. I never want to touch someone else's mouse or keyboard. They are among the dirtiest most germ infected places you can find and touching them is bad for both you and the person with the keyboard / mouse / touchpad.

thingie
Well, I would just tell them not to do it, because the screen gets dirty and you have to either clean it all the time, or you can't see anything on it. It's not rude to say something like "Well, I'm sorry, but please, don't touch the screen, it gets dirty, ok?". At least I think so.

Of course this is most likely very depending on the culture and place where do you live.

msie
First of all, you shouldn't apologize for telling people not to touch your screen.

I would be curt about it when it happens: "Please don't touch the screen, thanks." And say it with a smile. That way it would almost be a disposable, passing remark like: "Watch your step.". Making a big production of it would be worse for both sides. You want to say something and just move on so the incident doesn't linger too long. In a way, you are trusting the person to get the point. If he/she doesn't get it then it's their fault, not yours. I can see how this would be difficult if it doesn't suit your personality or the one you project at the office.

afed
That isn't fucking acceptable, invite the douche bag to clean your screen for you the next time he does that.
dimarco
My boss used touch my screen with a pencil. He'd actually draw light lines on the screen with the graphite.

I had to buy a box of wet wipes to clear the screen whenever he left my desk.

Drove me nuts.

jknupp
Only if he buys you dinner first
travisjeffery
Haha, yay! Now I can bring people to this post to show them that I'm not alone.

I agree wholeheartedly, why do they just have to touch our screens?

I'm a direct person so I just say swiftly and quickly "Don't touch my screen."

qeek
I told you homeboy U can't touch this

(...)

Look in my eyes, man U can't touch this