Ask HN: How can i help my dad?
My father has been working as a networking engineer for almost 40 years. He is exceptional at what he does. The problem is we live in a country, where things like perfection, attention to detail mean nothing. Also he is old, which is a big problem for most employers. 3 years ago he quit his job, because the owner of the company hadn't payed him for 7 months. My father didn't care for 5 months, continued doing his job, as if he was getting payed twice as much. After 7 months passed he brought the project to an end and the firm maid a substantial amount of money because of his work. He then resigned. My Dad didn't care if he wasn't getting payed, his work matters most to him and he proved it. It pains me to see him today (3 years later), still searching for jobs and going crazy, because he can't do what he loves the most. He started developing projects on his own, yet no one want to invest, because of the situation in our country(riots).
This has had quite the impact on our family in all the ways you can imagine.
I tried talking to him, yet he has grown distant and bitter. I'm loosing my father. He is in dire need of a job and i feel helpless.
60 comments
[ 3.8 ms ] story [ 147 ms ] threadIs this actually true? Seems like a kneejerk generalisation. If it is true, then surely this is a huge opportunity.
Knowing the loopholes and exploiting them means you're the smart one among a sea of clueless idiots. People get "secret" respect for being corrupted. Former Soviet block countries are one example of this mentality.
There's a reason certain countries can't make quick progress, while others can. Culture is the operating system of the mind, it affects how we perceive the world, how we make decisions, and ultimately where we're dragging the entire society with us.
There seemed to be three option, either actively start a movement to change the system, or position yourself to profit from the system, or leave the system. Just going around "the system is against me" is one of those victim positions that make yourself feel good but won't make any difference for anyone.
People do what they can in their position. Spontaneous organization leading to system change happens, but it's spontaneous.
Maybe you're imagining some kind of movie montage set to 80s bad disco music, where a guy Decides to Make a Movement, and a movement gets assembled and in the end we get a wide shot with hundreds of thousands of people doing system changy thingies, but reality usually doesn't work this way.
You can't just decide this, especially if you're a ~60 years old network engineer. Deciding to build a life abroad at that age is also quite unlikely.
Political correctness' "diversity that is disguised homogeneity where every really just agrees with me deep down inside, whether they know it or not, and all cultures are the same except for the superficial trivialities of what songs they sing, what clothes they wear, and what holidays they celebrate" is not an accurate picture of the world, and really quite provincial and imperialist (imposing your view on the whole world) on its own, despites its pretenses to sophistication and worldliness.
It's not as much fun as building a huge network, so you have to replace that part of the experience with the people - get to know the people there, and enjoy having them appreciate you (i.e. quality of interaction instead of quantity).
What things has he tried? Sending out speculative letters? Taking unpaid placements (if possible) to get a foot in the door?
I've done a few other things like this with good results:
http://jacquesmattheij.com/journeyman-project-trip-1-united-...
And I'm doing a few more as we speak.
My email address is jacques@mattheij.com
Can you help get overseas projects?
Can you setup a profile on eLance/etc where he can get projects?
Can you get an investment from Kiva or another crowd-funding site?
Some people got together nearby, got a government grant and setup a building to do just that. Charge a monthly fee to members and BAM! He's a business owner doing what he loves.
Bulgaria is not the most rich place in the world and government grants are reserved mostly for those with connections.
A small business, something that he can be independent, owner.
He is an adult. I assume, because he is a IT professional he has a good education.
I bet he knows that there are countries where he can get a better pay job. But for his own reasons, he has decided not to pursue this endeavor. I bet he made a choice of staying where he is now consciously. Maybe it's not his cup of tea moving between countries.
Of course no harm talking to him and reiterating the above. But I bet he knows and made up his mind already.
I've heard that these can sometimes lead to ongoing arrangements.
At any rate, future employability prospects should not be a factor in going after unpaid wages.
What use are worker protection laws if employers get away with this? Only employers on the verge of bankruptcy should get away with this. If a healthy company doesn't pay its employees, it wouldn't surprise me if that's criminal. Try getting the police involved.
Note: I'm not a lawyer.
So even if there are no legal restrictions there are plenty of barriers.
People from visa-required countries EASILY find a job in EU or the US if they want.
However, getting a job in London or another city will take time, and the cost of essential services like accommodation and public transport will quickly add up.
At first I thought this was wholly unfair. I know have come to think it's more an unfortunate fact of life. That said, it's not as if our ability to do go work just vanishes as we get older. For sure we aren't as sharp; but I don't see this as a deal breaker.
I'd like to think when I reach his age there will still be a meaningful role for me to fill?!
Quite often in that situation being part of a community and being useful can do wonders to your mentality and self-assurance. But networking is just as important.
Why not go visit http://11.me/ and http://launchub.com/ and http://www.betahaus.bg/ and others?
My story short : I recently moved to Berlin without knowing German. I was hired 2 weeks after I started to search for a job and I had enough offers to choose the job I want ( I've graduated law, but programming is what I've been doing my whole life ). Before this I was freelancing successfully in Bulgaria for awhile and had pretty decent amount of income anyway. I moved here, because of personal wishes ( I really like the spirit here ).
Nowadays is really easy to change country inside EU, but anyway I don't believe that Bulgarian economy is unstable especially for IT. You can also check out a lot of positions in Sofia and around the country that are in extreme need for specialists ( my friends still keep complaining they can't find people, because most of them are abroad ).
Whatever your father is doing if he really knows English ( working level ) he will be offered with a job here or if the position allows he can even work remotely from BG.
If you think I can help you personally contact me.
You can however be supportive. In part that means putting aside what you think he should do because it's not your call. Provide love without being asked. Provide advice only when.
Don't expect him to suddenly stop acting in ways in which he takes pride. He would work without pay again if the circumstances were the same. Accept him for who he is. Doing the right things will be hard because it is about him not you.
Good luck.