Ask HN: Life advice for 25yo Web Dev, single, no debt, $30k/£20k savings
If you were a 25yo Web Developer (Full-stack Dev), single, no debt and had $30k/£20k savings, what would you do?
Please bear the following in mind:
- I am based in the UK
- I did not go to College/University
- I am self-taught
- From the age of 16-20 when I was learning
I didn't party a lot or go out much
- From the age of 20-25 I was in a
long term relationship
- I have been a tech co-founder of a company
which grew to $7m/£4m turnover at its peak
- From the age of 20-25 I was working 60-70 hours
per week, both in employed jobs and
growing the company I was a co-founder of
- I have no debts
- I have a core group of friends who I see perhaps
once per week but they are slowly getting into relationships
- I am currently freelancing for the company I was
a co-founder of (I sold my shares)
but I am working from home
Some weeks go by and the only people I see are my family members, 1 or 2 friends and I may go out on the odd date now and again. My friends no longer want to go out to bars and clubs because they all did this when they were younger.
Part of me would love to put all of my belongings in storage, take my laptop and freelance from around the world.
My monthly outgoings are $2,500/£1,500 for rent and bills (I live on my own) and this is covered by my freelance work (8 hours per WEEK) so I barely have to touch my savings.
I want to meet more people, make more friends, meet more girls, have fun, come across exciting work opportunities, etc but I am not doing this right now.
What would YOU do?
115 comments
[ 2.9 ms ] story [ 173 ms ] threadTrue story from my first week an university. I was a typical bright, nerdy guy away from home for the first significant amount of time. I decided that I had to do _something_ to force me to not stay in my room and it had to be something that was going to get me to meet people unlike me.
So I looked around and went for something well outside my comfort zone: ballroom dancing. I had no idea how to dance at all, but you can learn to dance and you dance with women. Also, all the other people there were in a similar situation (some had danced before) but most were doing it to try something new.
I don't know what's going to work for you, but there's something out there.
This is actually some of the best advice I've heard in a while. Never thought it would come from HN. Thanks.
The other piece of advice I'd give is: "Do things that scare you but where you can overcome that fear". I, at least, find that I have great satisfaction from that.
Having said that, I can't recommend dancing highly enough, it's added an enormous amount of joy to my life. Programming scratches an intellectual kind of itch for me, but dancing scratches a much deeper one
It worked out beautifully. After staring at a screen and sitting down for 8-10 hours, I could spend an hour or two getting the shit kicked out of me. Since I lived in the city and was traveling against traffic, it had a chance to die down while I was working out. Aside from the endorphin rush that accompanied the workout and the physical changes that accompanied struggling to the point of immobility 3x/wk, I got a nice confidence boost which stayed with me through most of the job interviews that followed after I relocated. It was like all the panic and nervousness of the week got expelled in the span of six hours. For six months after I stopped (moved across the country for grad school) I could sit through job interviews thinking, "There is nothing this person can do to me physically, mentally, or socially which I cannot handle. This person has no power over me. I am in control. I am the authority."
I might try ballroom dancing when I have the time again, as I think it's more practical from a social perspective than fightin'. (Seriously. The knowledge and confidence to dance wins 10/10 in social scenarios.) Still, try both!
For me, it was tennis. I started playing and fell in love with it. It all began when I was working from home for a startup in another country. I would work and in the evenings, I would quietly slip out to the courts, play for two to three hours, and return back to work. Tennis is an amazing sport, if you play it passionately and properly, and only just for fun. Once I got better, I began looking for local tennis circuits. The coach I used to play with put in my name at a local tennis tourney. It was the first tourney I ever played. And I was jubilated, not only at being able to play a properly arranged tourney, but at realising that what I previously thought that there were hardly any good players around locally was totally wrong. There were many talented players, of all ages, who were just as passionate about tennis.
I fell so much in love with tennis that it became the only thing I was passionate about in life. I dearly looked forward to slipping out of work to playing tennis. I participated in more and more tourneys, and even though I lost, if it was a good match, I felt extremely satisfied.
Last year, I quit my work from home job (which last 4.5 years), mostly because I felt I wasn't getting anywhere working from home. I joined a local startup not too far from where I lived which was working on things I loved. Along with it, I switched tennis clubs and joined a professional tennis club where top-notch players coached and played and where I could find many a good player to play with.
All in all, I think that the advice, "do something that has nothing to do with any of this", is really something you ought to try.
First of all, relax! you are only 25 you have all your life in front of you. The best years in your life are about to come.
In your case I will travel for a couple of months on your own. Go to asia, south america... you'll have a lot of new experiences and get to meet some people.
Also you can practice an sport or get a new hobby like playing an instrument, you have a lot of free time and you'll meet new people.
Do a Bruce Wayne Gap Year: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7617684
"What would YOU do?"
I'd definitely go travelling. See the world. Understand culture / problems / what drives people.
Suggestion - http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/Hackbase - get yourself to Canary Islands (plenty of cheap RyanAir flights from the UK) and figure what to do next from there :)
Try online dating. Tinder/okcupid. Meet some younger girls who still like to go out and party.
Take up active hobbies that force you to be around other people. Yoga, indoor rock climbing, dancing is another good one.
Try meetup.com to meet new friends and activity partners.
If you have the freedom to travel, why are you staying in your apartment!? You can settle down when you're old and grey. Get out and explore the world.
I like to travel slow. At least one month in each place. That gives me enough time to rent a place for a month, with is cheaper, and to really get to know some people.
Don't bother doing freelancing until you have to. But if there's a side project that you'd like to work on, do work on that!
I've been spending 3 months in Cape Verde, loving it. After that don't know where i'm going. Indonesia maybe?
Travel travel travel, travel as much as you can! :)
I've been doing this since October & loving every minute. I still work full-time (remotely) as I don't have savings, but just being in new places has really changed my outlook & actually made me more excited/focused on the work I'm doing.
I freelanced for a bit via sites like We Work Remotely, then I found a full-time, remote role. I earn a SFBA market wage too, which actually means I am saving more being in countries with a much lower cost-of-living, than Sydney (where I was from) or SFBA itself.
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
Travelling is one of the most educational, rewarding experiences you can possibly have.
I would stash my earnings away into an investment, travel the world freelancing with my expertise, discovering new and amazing realities with which to live life.
P.S that's what I'm doing now, 20 odd years later. again.
Also take up dancing classes (salsa is a good choice) and possibly learn to paint/draw.
I'm watching the comments above me like a hawk for what to do but I'm taking your post as an excuse to shake up my life. BRB - getting plane tickets.
edit: Also, "barely have to touch my savings" means that you're net negative every month, and you're currently not doing anything special. I wouldn't do anything new that would raise my expenses.
There's something wrong with the finances of somebody who never took out student loans, has been working for 70 hours a week for five years, has only managed to save $30K, and is not having too much fun.
Also: freelancing for a single client that you used to work for is not steady work. I've never had that relationship last more than a year and a half. Freelancer fault-tolerance requires at least two clients.
Don't prepare your intro story. "Hey, I'm Steve and I've just decided to go travelling but I'm a hacker and I had this startup and then I freelanced..." etc. Just say, "Hey, I'm Steve. Nice to meet you." The rest can come out naturally! It's good to meet people from all walks of life and by preparing all this backstory you might overwhelm people or become a caricature of yourself.
Oh, and if you do go travelling, and need someone to take over your freelance work - please get in touch. I'm basically the same as you but 26 and not single, not planning to pack it up and take a break just yet.
Good luck.
EDIT: And hey if you wanna get a beer some time with someone new lemme know, I live in London too.
So go out to bars and have fun (who says you have to go with friends?!), date more, travel, take a class, swim in the ocean, jump from a plane, write a bucket list and do it all! Whatever, just make sure you seize life and get on with it.
Oh, but before you do all that, let me know how you manage to make enough to cover your bills in 8 hours so that I can jack in the full time job and spend more time with my kids ;)
(I'm enjoying your blog, by the way.)
You're young. So young. Don't worry about your friends not wanting to go out so much -- find new ones who do, and who are willing to take you out to bars and clubs to show you the ropes of chatting up strangers, if that's your thing.
That said, were I in your position, I'd be tempted to do the 'freelance around the world' thing. I can put you in touch with someone who's doing exactly that if you like.
I was in a similar situation, except I did not have that much money at the time. My wife and I sold everything that we have, bought a caravan and a car to tow it. Travel the east cost of Australia. Did jobs like cucumber picking, laboring for house building, fishing at the local beach for our daily meals etc. It was tough going with my wife as we learn about each other that we did not know before (the situation forces it). At the end my wife and I were closer, and we were much more rounder as a person.
I think traveling accelerates the possibility of these events happening.
You are in London, the best place for clubbing and a very nice base for traveling since most of the low cost flights are from and to London.
Check out Hospitality parties from Hospital Records, they come often to A'dam, also parties from RAM Records, Shogun Audio, Jungle Mania, Innovation, and others I am forgetting, this of course if you are into jungle music and drum and bass :-P
Do what you love, be original, don't worry about others trolling and be happy as you seen to be.
BIG UP !!
did I mention travel and be original? :-P