How do I go about quitting my contracting software job (telling two bosses)?
Working as a contractor on site for a government agency. I have two bosses: the one I see everyday that works for the government agency, and the one I never see that works for the contracting company I am hired by that is offsite 5 miles down the road.
I know not giving in your two weeks is kind of giving them the middle finger but I need to leave, not doing well. My boss that I see everyday will not see it coming and I foresee it getting ugly. I just don't know if I can handle it.
This is not my typical, I have been working in industry since 2006 and have always been responsible and on track, nothing but good things until this job.
Any advice from anybody out there who have quit and not planned to stay for two weeks? Or any other advice? Thank you
41 comments
[ 3.4 ms ] story [ 28.4 ms ] threadThe best thing to do, the professional way to handle the issue would be to give two week's notice. From the way you phrased your post, I understand that you get this but you feel incapable of doing so.
Perhaps the most honest thing to do is to request an immediate medical leave because of your issues (whatever they are). Then after getting a few days of perspective maybe you would be better able to face either giving 2-weeks notice or quitting immediately.
It won't be the end of your life, and I can also promise that it won't be the worst thing that either of your managers has had to deal with -- these things happen and sometimes there is nothing to be done. But I DO think that you should find a friend or confidant who can be supportive and help you work through this.
Could I phrase it along the lines of I need a week or I need to quit? I don't even know if there is "medical leave".
My life kinda exploded and I let it affect the quality of my work which I am not proud of, but it has been and it has been getting worse. I have finally told a couple friends I am struggling and they want to help (thank you).
Prioritise your basics. Eat properly. Go to bed early. Do some exercise. See your friends. Watch a movie. Make it your goal to have done all this for a week. Without sufficient reserves of energy & social interaction your job of getting through this is much harder.
If you feel shame about things not going well, you shouldn't. Everyone you know has made up their mind about "who you are" and the outcome of your decision here will not influence that one way or the other.
I'm solely responsible for all sorts of stuff and have received a few ear bashings over time. I hang on to a few facts:
1) I am variable. I cannot predict how much work I will get done in a day. I am not a machine. 2) Estimating how long a non-trivial software project will take is hard, and I should expect nearly all estimates to be wrong, and there will be consequences to that. 3) People can be unreasonable. I will on occasion have to deal with them. 4) Not everything is about me. If someone is angry on the phone, they may well have all sorts of shit going on in their lives. Don't judge. Don't take it personally.
In short, shit happens, and the more I do, the more shit I have to deal with, and after a while, that's fine. You try to avoid it, but you can't. I do the best I can, sometimes that's great, and sometimes it's not so good.
If that's the case, then you can't hold yourself accountable for their poor planning. If they didn't build any wiggle room into the deadline, and doesn't have any procedure in place to handle the unexpected, then they have nobody to blame but themselves when the project falls through. They're going to try to pin this on you, but it's not your fault they didn't do any of these things.
But, chances are, they do have a plan B, they're just not telling you about it. Managers do this shit all the time, place unreasonable expectations on you knowing you'll "rise to the challenge". Don't feel any moral compunction to play their game.
Don't quit, just talk to your boss at the contracting company and tell him/her that you would like a week off, unpaid, because of personal issues. If they are worth anything as an employer, they will give it to you gladly.
Mental health issues are often not treated the same way... but they should be. If you are mentally incapable of working on the project, then they must just deal with it.
Here is my opinion. You said government agency, so first, if there is anything sensitive about your work I wouldn't do it this way no matter what, give them 2 weeks (some require a bit more). It could affect how you are reviewed in the future if you ever want to get back into that type of work and could also subject you to heightened scrutiny now (the kind you don't want).
Second no matter which you choose. Even if you hate your boss, be honest and up front. Say something like look, this isn't working, I am stressed beyond belief, I know I am not giving you what you deserve now and I need to move on immediately to start over. 2 things can happen, the person may have some compassion and say cool, I get it, I don't like it, but I get it and good luck. Or they could say get the hell out and don't come back. Either way, you get what you want. The third is they might try to convince you to stay, which makes it a little tougher, but just stick to your guns and be honest. Frankly, in this situation you feeling anxious about it works in your favor as they will see it as genuine versus you being a prick, and it won't affect you later so no worries.
No matter what, don't make it personal about the supervisor or the company, environment etc. Just stick to the fact you need to pull the cord before you burnout and become useless (or whatever is your case).
Last point. I have a number of developers who work for my company and I don't generally care how they left their last employer, all I want to know is can you do the job and if you are treated well will you work out. And that is up to me to decide, not an action you took prior (unless I somehow see a pattern).
I don't hate my boss which makes it harder. I am the only developer for this piece of the project and replacing me will take time, the schedule will slip and put her in a tough spot.
Do you know if I should tell my boss I see everyday that works for the government agency, or the one off-site for the contracting company I am hired through?
Then I'd personally say everyone's advice is pretty spot on, this isn't going to hurt you just do it and be up front. And tell them both, order in my opinion would be the company you are hired through first and then the agency. Just depends on your relationship with both parties, as I don't think you can go too wrong long as you tell them both timely.
Just remember, if a company doesn't want you there they will walk you out whenever they want, so it is a business transaction as someone else pointed out, but one that is somewhat lopsided generally in favor of the employer. So you are right to be cautious, but don't stress yourself to death, do it and be happy.
Pack your personal effects and inform your company boss in writing that you intend to leave their employment, effective immediately. You don't need to justify your decision to leave, so don't.
If you want to tell the on-site supervisor, go ahead, but you have no obligation to do so. If you are willing to work for some period of time, to make an orderly transition of your work, make that known.
There's a 75/25 chance that you'll get walked out, so don't stress it.
At some point in you're life you're likely to get fired or laid off for no reason, companies tend to demand loyalty but offer little to nothing in return. So remember that they aren't your friends, don't worry about upsetting them. Just be clear, professional and tell them exactly what is about to happen.
Tell them you have some personal issues and need to leave ASAP.
They also probably had personal issues in their life(who haven't?) and it would be a very stupid reaction to your boss act mad or something like this. Remember this. IF there's any bad reaction from him, ignore and move on. It's not your fault. Don't let them make you think it's your fault.
After you talk with him about it, go eat a cheeseburger or something. It's just life.
And you don't say anything about the nature of the personal issues, so it's hard to say more. But they might be able to help with those in ways you don't realize.
Yes, it can feel like a romantic break-up, but really you don't owe them anything. They have to pay you for all the work you have done.
The only thing you are doing by leaving in a few days rather than two weeks is potentially hurting their recommendations of you. Which isn't much since it sounds like you have other experience in the same industry.
And, honestly, even with a whole two weeks, it's not a guarantee that you would get a positive recommendation anyways.
And finally, they legally can't trash you for other jobs, they can just withhold a positive recommendation.
It's actually pretty fine if its before the end of the three month period. At another job the contracting company just gave the other companies money back.
A situation that might suit all parties would be for you to take a week off starting immediately (a mix of holidays earned and sick leave). That gives you a week to calm down, de-stress and stand back from the situation. Then you'll be able to come back for a day or two to tie up any loose ends / train a replacement. It's not ideal but it's better for everyone than if you do a runner (and you should sell your boss on this plan in this way).
Bear in mind that stress/depression/anxiety/panic attacks (apologies, I'm reading between the lines a lot) will easily have you on medically-certified leave for >2weeks
My paid time off and sick leave are combined, and I was pretty sick a few weeks ago so pretty much at 0 right now (it accrues sloooowly).
You are right with the depression/anxiety etc. It has always been a problem but manageable, and I don't really like admitting it. It has recently become much less manageable. Trying to be active towards taking care of it
I wouldn't go out of your way to do that. Once you have the job, these contracting agencies serve no other purpose than to skim off your paycheck every week in exchange for having gotten you in at the gov't agency. A phone call is more than sufficient for them - they won't really care about the social niceties as you're just an income stream for them at this point.
Take care of yourself. Your life and health is all you have. The business will survive, especially if you aren't contributing much right now. Don't worry about prioritizing your health over a business. It's absolutely the right thing to do.
Also I have given two weeks notice before, but the company wanted me out the next day, with no pay. Companies don't owe you anything, and conversely you don't owe them anything.
Also, have you attempted to resolve your issues? I know it's easier to quit but you will always have issues at work and learning how to resolve them is much more valuable in the long run.
They will just want you around so that you can wrap up any loose ends you're working on, prepare documentation for your replacement, and be available for any questions the bosses have while preparing for your exit. In my experience they aren't going to expect you to be working at 100% during this time, they just want you to be available.
I don't want to sound condescending, but as a new grad it seems like you might be blowing things out of proportion a tad with wanting to run out of there immediately in anticipation of what your boss will think when you quit. As you gain more experience you will realize that this is just a normal part of working jobs. Sometimes you find some that aren't a good fit, and there's no shame in admitting that. It's better than burning yourself out by trudging onward or eventually getting fired for lack of productivity.
In the early 90s, right out of college, I was sent to a godawful temp assignment in Austin, Texas. The temp agency told me multiple times, "Call us when you arrive." I arrived at the job, and the company didn't have a phone that employees could use. They directed me to a payphone in the lunch room. At the lunch break, I left the building and drove home. I called the temp agency to let them know I wasn't going back. They were pissed.
As others have said, I would be professional. Don't just disappear. Call, email, speak with both bosses and explain you've got personal issues. If you possibly can, work two weeks. If not, let them know you can't.
Good luck!!
Communicate. Your everyday boss - who probably senses something is wrong - will be able to find a solution for you. That's part of her job. It might mean trying to keep you on and rearranging things for you. It might mean you give a two-week notice, or shorter. Maybe you get fired on the spot - not very likely, but you're ready to quit anyway, and it would be a mercy. You won't know until you talk about it.
Also - since you're young and not terribly experienced - don't worry so much about what your employer deserves out of you. They will take everything you give them - all of you, if you let them - unless you set boundaries. This is the nature of many relationships, business ones included.
And yes, I've quit jobs with short notice before. In those cases, I wanted to stay longer and see the business to success, but it had to be done. Everyone was better off, every time.
I don't know your frame of mind, but always, always give proper notice. Ask anyone who negotiates for a living, they will tell you that very few negotiations happen in a bubble, they are almost always serial and there is a feedback loop at work in all negotiations.
Or put another way, if you pull an asshole move now and quit without notice, don't be surprised if it comes back to bite you in the ass later on in life.
If you really feel like you can't work another day the bring that up to your boss, maybe he'll understand and agree to let you go on Friday with no hard feelings or reputation risk.
People can be incredibly compassionate when you open up to them. Tell your boss about your state of mind, you'll be surprised at both how well you feel after and how well he/she might take it!
That gig shaped the next 6 years of my career, so I wasn't kidding. About three years later the agency recruiter (who I thought we had been on friendly terms...) called me about another gig - she couldn't even remember that we had previously worked together! And, when I tried to refresh her memory she had no recollection of my leaving on short notice.
Point is same as others in this forum: it's a business transaction. In a couple weeks you'll probably get another call from the contracting agency asking you if you want a gig, the government customer will probably already be moved on to a new developer, and if their schedule slips it is due to poor planning on their part. Obviously you don't want to make a habit of leaving on short notice or leaving customers in a bad spot, but if circumstances dictate it, you get at least one free pass per career ;-).
However, upon giving notice, that crushing guilt was lifted. Since I knew there was a solid end date, finishing the time was very bearable. And since I gave notice, other positions with the same company are still available. I can still use my coworkers as professional references (some of 'em, anyway).
If, on the other hand, I'd dropped the bomb and said "screw you guys, I'm leaving NOW," I'd have had to deal with the guilt of leaving both the contract lead and the task lead with a hard-to-fill slot and no warning. In exchange, I'd have had a relief from two weeks of ultimately bearable work.
Some will spit in the face of your two weeks' notice and ask you to leave immediately, which is kind of a childish reaction to having you upset their plans.
Some will try to get you to commit to just one more week at a time until they've extracted what they need, and work you harder during that time.
Some will accept that you're not happy, can't do the best work because you aren't happy, and will work with you to tie up loose ends with your 2 weeks notice, and maybe even let you off a little sooner if, as another commenter suggested, you ask for that contingency.
Unfortunately, it's not clear cut. If you have reason to be confident that one of the first two is going to happen, then you shouldn't give notice. In the latter case, burning a bridge would be a shame since you aren't giving them a chance to be considerate.
The last time I worked a contract gig, the manager essentially dragged a guy out back and shot him on my third day. That undermined anything they did to make me feel like there might be a future, or that a place on their team might be worthwhile. I received full-time offers every week that I worked for them, including the first one, and when I finally chose one, set a start date two weeks out, and notified my manager, he walked me out the door, and I had to shuffle my plans a bit.
If you don't have something new lined up yet, it's probably best to find a way to give notice, though as many others have said, you shouldn't feel bad about leaving their project understaffed - it sounds like it already is.
Then, take a sick day.
Then imagine just walking out middle fingers in the air (figuratively or really). Might be fun. Then imagine bumping into those people in a restaurant, future job interview, sales call, meetup, at the park, on the bus. Might not be so fun.
You're going to run into the people at your current gig again. It will come back to bite you.
If you can suffer through 2 weeks, I say try to do it. But if you really really feel impelled to quit immediately then you gotta do what you gotta do.
If it helps, remember this: they would absolutely not hesitate to let you go with less notice than you plan to give them, oftentimes not for performance or anything negative but simply because the company is cutting costs. This is your version of "cutting costs."
Anecdote: Worked with a kid who basically had a nervous breakdown from the stress of the project. He ended up getting escorted out of the building anyway due to erratic behavior and timed missed from work. It's not worth it imo.